Sorry I can not spell today.

Hi Tina,

Welcome! This place is a wonderful resource for information and support. Lots of truly compassionate, insightful and experienced folk here.

I'd also like like to say "+100,000" to what HB has written above. Every word of it is right on the money.

BTW, lots of Ts appear to be "ice cubes." I know because I see one. Well, maybe not ice cube, but certainly stone-faced and distant much of the time. It bugs the hell out of me.

I'm sorry you had to experience a response to what took a hell of a lot of courage to do. I don't think I've ever heard of a therapist reacting like that. I don't know what your letter said, but it's hard to imagine her not knowing that it was all about you and not her.

At the very least, I would go and talk to her about it. See if you can work it out. If not, keep looking. I met with 4 therapists before I settled on my guy, and I'm still not sure if he's the right one, but I guess you never really know.

Anyway, welcome!
Russ

Thank you.

Actually I think I finally just stood on my own two feet for a change. I thought about it a lot. I did not agree with the things my T said when she called me on the phone. So I communicated back to her on paper and in a very diplomatic constructive way, I told her and told her what I felt. She called the next day and left a message that if I still wanted to come in the 18th that was fine or I could wait untill the 31st but to let her know. I called and told the service I would be there on the 18th. I will listen to what she has to say. I always have had a tendecy with her to do whatever she suggests, and never question her or challenge her if I think she is wrong. I am not angry with her and I got over getting my feelings hurt. However, I wont sit back and be a meek shy little rat anymore. If her and I can work this out next week and move on, that will be great. If not I will move on. Maybe this is not the right thing to do but I am a human being with feelings and counselor or not, I will not allow her to hurt my feelings like that ever again.I have been seeing her for over a year and she has never acted like this before but that does not make it right. Well I will let you all know on the 18th what happened. Thank you all so much for your advice.....

i talked last nigt about people taking stuff personally when it isn't meant so much personally. and my T says she always hears under the words and tries hard not to take it so personal. though what i sy can hurt, she knows it's not HER that i'm trying to hurt. i think you're T needs some thinking about this one. i'm very sorry her responded like that. i hope you can find a good T if you decide not to go back to her.
samy

Hi Tina,

I've been away for a while and just wanted to say a belated welcome to the forum. I hope you will find a resolution with your T. It's wonderful that you have been able to stick to yourself and keep the lines open at the same time. Such hard thing to do!

SB

Well I went to see my T today. I was shocked.It was the best session I have ever had with her. We worked through the bump in the road we had and I feel a lot better. I would go further into it but I am little emotionally drained right now. I will talk to you guys later.

Hi Tina... don't know if I welcomed you either.. so if not... welcome to the Board. Glad you found us.

It's funny how that happens sometimes... you have a session from hell and then it's followed by a really wonderful session. I think what you experienced is the repair after the disruption in the relationship. This forges new neural pathways in our brain as we learn that when there is a bump in the road of our relationships... they are not doomed and CAN be repaired and go on even better and stronger than before. When this happens with an attachment figure in our lives it makes a huge impact on us.

I'm happy you are feeling better. Share what you can when you are ready. No pressure. You need some time to process everything.

TN

I have to see my T again tomorrow. I have decided to trust her and tell her the things that really fill my life with pain instead of just telling her what I think she wants to hear. I am scared and do not know where to start. I guess just one step at a time. She has helped me with a lot of things over the last year, but now it is time to deal with my darkest fears. I will let you all know how it goes.....

quote:

will let you all know how it goes.....

Please do, Tina, Please do. I hope it goes well and that you are able to say everything you want to say. You are very brave and I hope you and your T recognize this. Good luck!

-CT