Hi,
I really don't have alot to say right now but I just wanted to try and connect with people who knew my sister PG. I think she would want me too as well.

I went back to work and have been trying to get back into a routine but I'm having a hard time. The pain of losing my sister is unbearable. I tried really hard to prepare for this and I knew she had a terminal illness. I guess I didn't do a very good job.

I just miss her. I miss her laugh, her smile and her beautiful puppy dog eyes. Those puppy dog eyes kept us out of alot of trouble growing up.

I'm not in therapy right now but I have a feeling I will be shortly.

Any thoughts would be helpful. thanks

Twin

(((Twin)))

So good to hear from you. I was just thinking of PG this morning… she had a wonderful sense of humor and sweetness about her…

Grief, even “expected” grief, is not easy. I lost my grandmother recently, and while we knew she was ill, it still is hard. Losing a sister, a twin, is huge. It’s good that you are reaching out. It probably doesn’t help to hear this, but it’s “normal” to still be struggling, and it’s awful and hard too. I’m not sure it’s something you really ever can be totally prepared for. The depth of pain you are walking through has got to be tremendous.

Grief counselors, and most any T can help, there are grief support groups with most hospice agencies. We are here too. I agree with you - I think she would want you to keep connecting with people who knew her and anyone who can support and just be with you…

Grief and facing the a loss like this can be exhausting. It can take a real toll on our bodies and hearts. You said you are trying to get back to a routine, and that is good. Are you also able to take time to rest and take care of yourself? Do kind things for you to help restore yourself as you walk through this? (It may be way easier said than done, I’m terrible at it myself.)

I can tell you loved her deeply, and the connection between sisters is a dear one. I know she would be proud of you for reaching out.

many hugs,
~jane

Twin -- I'm so glad you're reaching out. The loss and grief you're experiencing is normal, but so painful. One day at a time.

A grief counselor is a great idea, if you're able to do that.

I lost one of my nieces nine years ago, and my sister-in-law still set special dates (anniversary dates) to get together and talk and grieve and remember. At the time, she truly couldn't afford any kind of therapy, but she has often said how those conversations really pulled her through the darkest time.

Being able to talk to people who knew her may be really helpful. Are you close to your parents? I'm sure they're also grieving.

Wish I could give you a real hug. ((((Twin)))

Hi,
It's nice to meet everyone

June I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Thank you for taking the time to repond to my post. I'm going to try and find a grief counselor this week.

JD, yes I'm trying to find time to do things for myself. Today I went hiking. If PG was here she would say get off your butt and do something. Even at the end I never wanted to leave her and she would get so mad at me. She was quite stubborn. Thank you for your kind words.

BG, your sister in law sounds like a very strong person. My family is very close and everybody is trying to do the best they can. We are trying to take care of my Mom who is simply devastated.

UV, I tried the withdrawing thing but when I do I get this sharp pain in my butt. Even in heaven PG is still kicking me. Well, she might not be in heaven yet she is still trying to plead her case. She will be there eventually. It's the eyes..they never let us down.
PG and I always took care of each other. Although, she was a little more outspoken than me.

Draggers, I'm here but I don't think I'm all that brave. All I can do is take one day at a time.

Just for the record I really only like one kind of ice cream. Mint chocolate chip.

Ouch...kicked again

Twin

Twin ~ that's wonderful that you went hiking! aw, it just sounds like you so love your sweet sister. She was stubborn, or had a certain persistance about her, in some really great ways. She was determined to get through things she was dealing with - and determined about enjoying ice cream too! I bet she is looking down at heaven smiling, proud of her sister, seeing you bravely reaching out, remembering her, working at engaging life, and walking through the immense grief... and yeah, probably kicking ya for only one ice cream then again, mint chip is a good one! yum!

I hope things are going ok - keep hanging in there and taking each day as it comes.

Thinking of and praying for you and your family as you walk through this grief... and missin' PG myself... :'(

~ jane

hi Twin! It is so good to see you here. I loved hearing about PG's beautiful puppy-dog eyes. I loved hearing about the things she would say, like get off your butt and stuff! Maybe she'll say that to me from where she is! I hope so! Thank you for sharing all about her with us. I would love to hear more about her. She was very special, and wherever she is now, she is still very special and wonderful person. Thank you for coming here.

I hope that you are able to find a lovely counselor to help you with the grief and the sadness, if it ends up feeling right to do that. And I hope that you will feel comfortable enough to come here and post your feelings and sorrow with us.

Thank you Twin.

Hugs,

BB

Hi everyone,

I'm doing ok, I called a couple of T's this past week and haven't heard back from anyone yet. I'm not in any big hurry. I think I would like to come here more because PG loved everybody here so much. She liked helping others.

BB, what can I tell you about PG other than her love of ice cream. She was very unique. She had this quite gentleness about her but she could be like JD said persistent. She was kind, funny and loving. When she found out that she had terminal cancer she never cried. At least that I knew of. At the end I knew she was in alot of pain but didn't want to be all drugged up. She wanted to spend as much time with everybody as she could. She was not afraid of dying but she didn't like the fact that everybody she loved and cared for would be hurt.

She had a few T's over the years but her last T she adored. I think she liked her because she didn't put up with her bull*^*^. She did help her alot.

Thank you everybody for welcoming me. It means a lot.

Twin

hi twin,

i've been thinking about how you're coping and i'm glad you're getting some support here. i'm sorry to say i missed out and i didn't know PG very well, she seemed lovely and so caring and her love of icecream (and life) brought lightness and joy to this forum.

my heart breaks for your loss. i have a sister whom i'm very close to and i can't even imagine losing her. i hope you can still feel her presence through the memories you share and i hope that will begin to bring you comfort through all the pain you must be going through.

thank you for sharing about your sweet sister and the special bond you have with her.

puppet