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Hi all My T told me a couple of weeks ago that she is going on holiday at the end of the month. And for the first time in 3 and a half years, i freaked out. Holidays have never bothered me before, i didn't like them but i always coped. But this time it is so different, i even had to phone her the next day ( something else ive never done) She was great and phoned me back within the hour and i felt better after we talked. So I will be seeing her Monday and then she is off for 2 weeks. What makes it worse is im starting a new job while she is away so i dont know when we will be able to sort an appointment out. The anxiety comes and goes, (feeling this morning) I'm guessing the attachment i have been resisting for so long has started Why does this scare me Hev | |||
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Hi Hev, I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious about your Ts absence...the whole idea of attachment is certainly a catch 22, isn't it? Hang in there - it's so good that you were able to call your T and talk to her. Post here as much as you need. “We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” – Walter Anderson My blog: Waking Up | ||||
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Heather, I'm seeing my T for the first time in 5 weeks today! Two weeks, 5 weeks, its always tough when they are away. But look, you have a new job to focus on which from my experience is usually all consuming trying to learn everything and everbody. Hopefully it will take your mind off of your T absence. Certainly normal to have anxiety about a new job. Good Luck! | ||||
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Heather It's the safety net thing isn't it? You know that you will be ok and get through, believe me (a veteran of long breaks Once I'm into the break, it's not so bad, I tell myself that I CAN get though this and what an achievement if I CAN manage this for a while on my own. You have friends here who understand and will support you Heather...and a new job too. Hopefully that will take up some attention and time too. starfish | ||||
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Thanks everyone, the anxiety has eased off, im giving my kitchen a well deserved clean to keep me busy Kashley, yes i guess starting a new job is making me feel anxious although i didnt know i had the job when she told me about the holidays. I hate all the meeting new people and being the new person Lizzygirl....5 weeks Starfish, it is the safety net thing, seems more bearable if i know she is having a break but still at home...least i know she is there but going on holiday Thank you all for the good luck with the job, im sure i will settle into fine Hev | ||||
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Hey, Hev- congratualtions on your new job! I'm sure you will start to feel less anxious about it after you have been there for awhile and settle in...anxiety about new things always is hard to get through isn't it...ugh. I'm sorry that your t isn't around to help you through it. I wonder if there is some way you could get alternative means of support if you asked her, while she is away for long times? I know some people on here have posted about the idea of a safety net t for breaks...but I don't know how you think about that. It is so hard to have to deal for long times on our own about the hard stuff, isn't it? Hug, to get you through, and keep posting! (((((Hev)))))) BB "A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one, finds a treasure." -Sirach 6:14 | ||||
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Thanks BB, I'm sure I will be ok while my T is away. I not sure about a safety net T but i quess i need to talk to my T about how i will manage Thanks for the hug Hev | ||||
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| Moderator |
Hi Hev, I just wanted to post a clip from an old post of mine that talks about what you're going through. I hope this helps "normalize" your feelings for you.
When we didn't have a chance to learn this when we're small, then we have to go through it with our Ts. And it's much harder to do as an adult partially because we beat ourselves up so much for HAVING the feelings. AG ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end." My blog: Tales of a Boundary Ninja | |||
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Since writing this post my T and I havelooked at what i am feeling about her holidays in our last 3 sessions. I'm feeling abandoned, hurt, dismissed and i don't feel important, also i don't feel she cares about me Ag i get this now Human beings are literally biologically driven to stay near their attachment figures, I hate being away from my T and i hate that i feel this way Hev | ||||
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Thanks Dragonfly x Your idea of the scrap book is great and i do think i need something to focuss on coz at the moment it feels such a long time until i see her again. Lots of hugs ((((((((dragonfly))))))) to you x Agent H63 | ||||
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