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This message has been edited. Last edited by: LadyGrey,

LG,

Yes, it was me. My T said she *almost* texted me to see what was up because I was quiet...too quiet. She didn't actually do it. She has mentioned several times lately that she has noticed how quiet I have been and that I've not been texting and all were during times that I knew she had something going on. She also mentioned once after we had a minor rupture and I wasn't texting much. Typically I might text her say 2 or 3 times per week. When I say times I mean 2 or 3 times that we will text back and forth for a few minutes.

I think if you aren't doing it out of revenge and just because you don't feel like it then it is fine. You don't have to text her if you don't feel like it. She might ask you about it, but I don't think it means anything if she doesn't either.

I usually warn him if I am intentionally going to stop (like during his vacation). Otherwise, there have been times I have stopped for a few days straight. He won't text me, but he'll usually comment lightheartedly in our session if it has been more than a couple of days of silence. And those days, he seems to be more cautious to reassure me it is OK to text. Since the way we established me texting was him calling it a thread and saying he has other clients who text him every day just to report how things are going, I usually update my "status" with him, whether it is good or bad. We both know that no response is expected unless I am asking questions or freaking out.

I did have a period of about two and a half months in which I didn't text my T (highly unusal for me)I think I was trying to wean myself off plus we had cut down our sessions for a while so thought it was a good opportunity to stop texting. The longer I went the easier it became. When I saw her next she commented that she had noticed I hadn't text her. Though I remember after that session it started again almost like I had never stopped but I did like knowing that she had noticed the change.

Glad that you have had a weight lifted LG, I am sure your T won't interperet it as you being mad without talking to you first.

Butterfly

LG,

I don't know why she didn't. She will mention at times that she thought of me over the weekend or almost texted me about xyz, but she rarely ever does. She does occasionally send texts without me texting first. She sent me a long text this morning, but it was in response to my fax so not totally unsolicited I suppose. I think she doesn't want me to think that I think she thinks I can't take care of myself. Does that even make sense? lol

There have been 3 times my T has initiated a text to check on me following an unusual period of silence on my part. She has written something along the lines of, "Thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok. I haven't heard from you for awhile so I don't know." Two of those 3 times were during her vacations when I withdrew in order to cope. There have also been periods of silence when she did not inquire how I was doing. Those have usually been periods of time when I had expressed anger prior to the period of silence, so I imagine she was respecting my space. For the most part, I think T's don't like to initiate too much because that action could become about their needs, not our needs.