OW.

Thanks for your reply. I had admitted that I was at fault for not presenting my message better in the original topic and apologized. In return I was given a rude remark for offering my apology.

I will certainly read things over before sending them out in the future to make sure that they will not be offensive or harsh. I'm a VERY direct, honest, tell ya how I see it kind of person and as I mentioned in my post above I don't generally respond to a post that might cause issue, but I made an error in judgment in this case.

Thanks again for your post.

Be well,

Holly

Hi AG,

Point taken

FYI: I had deleted my posts on her topic because they obviously offended her, you and others. I'm not an ignorant person and wouldn't leave them there to continue causing anguish to SG and others. It wasn't to hide what I had said because after X number of people had visited the site before I deleted, it was a given that it was read by many members already.

HI LTF

quote:

i think if someone asks for an opinion they need to be able to accept that not everyone is going to agree with them. But they can disagree with your opinion without any problems, as long as no one tries to FORCE their own beliefs/opinions onto someone else. Agreeing to disagree is a beautiful thing, and a sign of two mature adults engaged in communication. If people are only looking for support/agreement then they should specify in their post. I also wouldn't want people to just tell me what they think i'd want to hear to placate me. That's not going to help anyone long term.

You are very right here, well said. I have no problem with people giving a differing opinion, whether harsh or pleasantly put. I'm more likely to want to debate the issue with them than to be rude and insulting to in response. I'm learning through therapy and from people here that just because I deal with things in a certain way doesn't mean that everyone else must conform to my way of thinking or doing things (though it would make my 'real' life much easier LMAO) SORRY that wasn't intended to be directed at anyone one here, I said my "REAL" life.

You obviously didn't see my post to SG in her topic before I deleted them, it was a little harsh and some comments could have been written better. But thanks for thinking/supporting that my other posts have been acceptable.

Thanks for your last line too. I'm generally very standoffish and don't 'feel' things other than generalized anger and of course love for my immediate friends and family. Never a feeling of loss in anycase though. The stories and life experiences of some of you make me want to reach out to offer support and also to look for support (which I have never been able to allow myself to do) and I like that feeling it's something I didn't experience much of in the past. I can attribute these positive changes to my P and to you all here. However, I think in this case when I said I don't have feelings .. I meant that I don't get hurt by words or actions of others that have no significance to me.

Thanks for your opinions

Hi Jo

I too hope that at some point this can be resolved between SG and I. I don't hold grudges against people and don't plan to start now. Maybe when we meet outside we can have a better chat amongst ourselves and come to some sort of agreement to disagree and get along in the future

Thanks for your post ...

Be well!

Holly

Holly and Gang,

This has been an interesting thread. Holly, I wish you wouldn't have deleted your posts on my question. Frankly, I can't even remember what it said. But I do remember that the first one was pretty prickly, and that you did post a second one apologizing for any offense - something about one shouldn't write when tired, I think.

If you will read what I said on that topic on my thread, you will see that I agreed that you have every right to say whatever you want. That's your business, not mine. And, yes, after feeling a little attacked (especially when you don't know the whole story), I sent you a mild stinger just to make my point.

But I'm going to have to agree with some of the others in that being kind with our words is going to be the most helpful. Don't we have enough conflict just trying to figure out our perceived problems? We don't need this as a place to debate. In my case, I do enough debating in my own head. When I reached out to this community, it was for insight - kind insight. Maybe a bit of "I feel your pain, and everything's going to be alright". I'm not going to apologize for wanting to feel better by connecting with others. One kind word can work miracles - and it has.

SG,

Thanks for yor post.

I'll be sure that should I post on a topic related to or by you that I will keep in mind that you are here for ...

quote:

kind insight. Maybe a bit of "I feel your pain, and everything's going to be alright". I'm not going to apologize for wanting to feel better by connecting with others.

I'll be more careful and mindful in responding the way I did to any member of this forum in the future.

I hope that didn't sound bad .. it wasn't meant to if it was so don't freak out on me That was a joke .. hmmm, maybe I should just shut up now

I know it's against the rules but I'm going to sneak it in anyway .. SG - please check your PM box. No one saw that .. right ???

Be well,

Holly

Hey Holly,

So glad to hear you are growing in so many positive ways. Learning to look for / ask for support is soooo hard, especially if you are used to never receiving it. So i get how important that is for you, and I am happy for you

Oh, and I actually did see the other posts you are talking about and didn't see the problem with them at all - i just saw it as you voicing your opinion, maybe sounding a little harsher than you intended, but nothing to be worried about. And i was thinking some of the same things myself but bit my tongue . Hopefully it's all water under the bridge now anyway.

LTF

Holly,

I can appreciate everything you've said.

quote:

I'm a VERY direct, honest, tell ya how I see it kind of person

I am the same way "in real life." If someone asks me their opinion I am going to give it to them, straight up, no beating around the bushes. It has gotten me in trouble in the past but I am actually proud of that personality trait. I also have a tendency to get a little sarcastic at times, which is a trait I see you share with me. I would be lost without humor.

I just try to be a lot more careful on a board like this because you don't have other things like body language and instant feedback like you do in real life, and you don't know where the person is really coming from to begin with.

And PLEASE, if you ever see something I post that you don't agree with or that you have issues with, I hope you choose to respond. I think most of us come here for support, kindness, empathy, and the unique knowledge and experiences of each individual.

OW

I'm supposed to be on my way out to the Shrink already .. but this is always a more enjoyable place to be in the morning

LTF

Sorry for assuming you hadn't read my post to SG, you seemed far too supportive to have done so. I'm glad that you didn't find me to be too abrasive in it and supported my opinion. I've realised though that I was inappropriate and should have proceeded differently, expecially considering I had never exchanged notes with SG before and hadn't developed an idea of how best to talk to her. I know now

I think (hope) that all is okay now. But what I'm glad about is how many people here do want to hear an honest opinion. I just have to be nicer in my presentation.

Thanks again for your kind words and your opinions.

OW

Good morning

I think we would get along pretty well considering the traits we share. I'm the biggest smart ass there is (or so I've been told), or maybe they said I have the biggest ass and I just added the smart myself!

I promise to be harsh honest with you in all of my postings hehehe.

Anyway .. off to that shrink to talk about my need to be so outspoken .. maybe a little shock therapy this morning might help! LMAO

Have a great day and be well!

Holly