Hi Guys,

I am coming up to a milestone in therapy. It will soon be 5 years that I have been going to therapy with the same therapist. Our therapy anniversary is November 17th, and by then I will have done around 170 sessions. (so much for being done in a few months, like I originally thought, ha!)

We have had our ups and downs and arounds. But recenntly I have been feeling more connected. (well I am sure the fact that i have done 2.5 sessions this week is helping)

I mentioned to my therapist today that I wanted to do something to celebrate or mark our 5 years together. He thought that was a good idea and we are going to talk about it.

I was wondering what types of things you guys had done to celebrate a milestone in therapy. I have some ideas but I would like to get of you ideas first. It can be a how to celebrate together, a how to review the past 5 years (in one or two sessions) an evaluation of my progress type session.

Keep in mind I don't think he will leave the session room together (although maybe), there is no comfortable table we an sit at together,(like to make something, which i would love to do). I can book sessions at 50 mins or 75 mins in length. I can also book two sessions in that week. Interestingly when I do two sessions a week, one on Wednesday and the second on Friday, the 17th of November is a Thursday so I could have one the day before and one after, sounds like a good way to organize this eh?

Feel free to suggest anything, up to and including adoption.

HUGS

CNC

update ************************************************

So i am feeling hurt. My therapist and i spoke about the 5 year session coming up. I told him what i would like to do which is for us together to review the earlier notes of our sessions together. He said, no, flat out no. I asked why and he said that i needed to deal with the current issues that I was working on, that reviewing the notes would be a huge distraction. He said he was happy to talk about progress, and changes in those 5 years but that we weren't going to be reviewing his notes. I am really hurt by this. I wanted that session to be something different, i have no clue how to structure a review session about progress, that is exactly why we have never done one.

Right now I feel like cancelling the session entirely that week and not acknowledging it at all. And to think i was knitting a blanket for his office (because i am always cold in there)

I have a session tomorrow, and i am already starting to feel angry at him.

what a fuck up this is....

CNC

This message has been edited. Last edited by: CNC,

Hi CNC,

I haven't celebrated any milestones in therapy and so don't feel as though I'm the right person to respond. But I love your idea of reviewing your progress. TN is celebrating an anniersary soon and she might have some good ideas.

Maybe you could sit on the floor and make something?

Let us know what you decide.

Liese

Congratulations CNC. It sounds like your T is open to doing something to mark the anniversary with you. I hope it is meaningful and enjoyable for you.

I also don't have any good ideas. I've spent over 3 years in therapy, have actually had a session on my birthday and never mentioned any milestones.

Please report back,

Draggers I loved hearing about your celebrations. The idea of the boxes that you swapped was just great. I had thought to plant a tree too... but more as a memorial to what I lost with oldT. I don't have a real gravesite to mark the death so I thought about planting something some where that I could visit.

I have marked milestones with both oldT and this current T. With old T I would buy him a small but meaningful gift and write him a card talking about what the milestone meant to me and sort of remembering the first time we met and what my thoughts were and how they had changed over time. He always seemed to really appreciate what I did. But now I wonder...

With my current T I have so far only marked our six month milestone because it was so amazing to me that I was ABLE to stay in therapy that long after what happened to me with oldT. I gave him a flameless candle, sort of a small hurricane style with a glass cover. On the cover was a leaf design because I met him in the Fall. I gave him the candle because I had come to think of him as my light. As Galadriel's light from Lord of the Rings. He was the one who lit the darkness when all other lights had gone out. I also gave him a card with a few quotes about "light" and two of them are below in my siggy. He really loved it and the candle is on his bookshelf where he can see it. It has an auto timer so it turn on for 4 hours each day at the time I would be having my appointment with him. He teases me that I have managed to figure out a way to make my presence known even when I'm not there! LOL. He has also told me that it's one of his most favorite gifts and he likes looking at it and thinking of me. That makes me feel good and connected to him. My light is shining even when I am not there in the office.

In a few weeks it will be our One Year anniversary. I have bought him a small memento of that as well. It's a crystal lighthouse... hence my avatar. I like to think of a lighthouse as a candle on the water. It gives light and safety and guides you home when you are lost and in danger in a stormy sea. I like thinking of my T that way.

I do hope you find something unique to do that respresents your relationship with T. I think it's a good thing to do as well as talking about the progress over the past year. Anniversaries are a great time for reflection.

TN

I'm still new to this therapy thing and T unfortunately missed the boat on commemorating it, because he didn't answer my question about it soon enough. So, he didn't understand at the time what I was doing, but I told him later. I gave him a hand-made sock monkey. It is on display on the shelving that is attacked to the top of his desk. He now gets it out immediately when I come to the office, along with turning the lights down for me. I guess it's as much a gift for me as him, though, since it's now one of a few stuffed animals that gets interacted with during therapy. Anyway, I had found out by chance, because other Ts use his office Wednesday through Friday and one of their clients left a baby's toy, that T LOVES monkeys. And, I really wanted to give him something hand-made. T loved it and thought I had actually bought it, but was ecstatic when he found out I made it. I made one for Boo straight after and brought it to show him as it is the sibling to his monkey (made with the other halves of the socks used to make his, so they share "DNA"). I use it as my avatar for our Skype sessions and T got a real kick out of that. Unfortunately, the second one turned out looking more like a sheep with a monkey's tale, LOL. Maybe I will make that my avatar here too.

Wow, way off topic. Anyway, if I had it to do over, I would be more bold and want to spend the session talking about what the last year has meant to me and asking him how he feels about the work we're doing. It's only been two weeks, so I guess we still could, but I kind of feel the moment has passed.