Hi Monte,
You may be pleased to know this is my 1st reply to any post on this site. Your question isn't dumb at all and yes I am curious as to why others are here as well. I believe we are all seeking a support system and I am happy I landed here. I am thankful to all who are so open here.

I am in therapy now mostly to address PTSD, however I have been in therapy on and off since I was a child of a young age. My Mom dragged me to therapy because of self esteem issues related to my dysfunctional family, mainly due to my father's alcoholism, my mother's control and me feeling everything was my fault, being the oldest of 3 girls, birth order may have been a factor as well.

I was fortunate to see the same therapist years later when I was raped in high school. And now, some 15+ yrs later I am grateful that I could return to this same T who now works with adults, to address issues related to 9/11 and most recently an assault. I consider myself very lucky as I assume most people have not had such a history spanning from their early childhood thru adulthood w/the same T.

My goal is to fly free of fear and anxiety and not be that scared little girl inside and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. My place in the universe is unique and it is my place. I am learning to let go of all that does not serve my well being...thoughts, self-limiting behaviours, always doing for others not myself, managing situations, acting instead of reacting,etc. So perhaps some of the reasons I am in T now are for the same reasons I started.

I am learning and proving to myself that who I am is ok, even when I am feeling manic, of course that may be the Gemeni in me. I have a great relationship w/my T and it is intersting to observe our conversations as adults, but that same calming effect she has is still there as it was when I was a child. If the age/sex of my T has had any effect it has been positive.

I have made progress and continue to make progress, however I do not believe we are ever "done" working on ourselves. It is a process, an ongoing journey every day. I know one day my T will retire and I hope to perhaps have tea w/her as two ladies as friends not T & Patient.

My ultimate goal is to do it on my own through breathing, meditation, yoga, music, positive affirmation whatever it may be at that moment. Some days I am a free spirit, others a broken spirit but I never really fly too far w/out making it back. At one point in my life I was on a Kamikazie mission and I am happy I overcame that.

I have learned alot since then and I continue to learn everyday. Sometimes life has become temporarily more complicated in T but it is all part of the human condition. Like the calm b4 the storm, then the darkness, thunder & lightening and then, clear skies and a beautiful rainbow. It's not always like that but we all have our emotional rollercoasters.

I do believe we all have the power within to heal our hearts, souls, bodies and minds. Harnessing our true self and being who we truly wish to be is possible, moment by moment. Okay, I said alot, who knew? Have I said too much? I feel great, and hope I have inspired some. I have a feeling you all are gonna hear alot more from me May even have some of you doing this I hope not. Thank You all for reading, alot of your answers have helped me feel it was ok to share an be open w/out being judged.

Hi skybarbie

Welcome to the forum - I am sure you will et a lot of support and understanding here, I certainly have and still feel relatively 'new' myself!

It sounds like you have a great T and a good understanding of each other too. It also seems that you know yourself extremely well and also know the things that will help you come through all your traumas and difficulties.

quote:

I do believe we all have the power within to heal our hearts, souls, bodies and minds. Harnessing our true self and being who we truly wish to be is possible, moment by moment

yes skybarbie, how very true. Really loking forward to hearing more from you,

starfish

My heart goes out to you- WhatsLeftOfHim.

Boy Monte-
Super questions, now what were they?

My goal is to marry my T and live happily ever after, but since I can't bear the thought of hurting his or my family, I would like to do something like was done in the movie "Butterfly Effect".
Ah well- to real life- My goal is to grow to be the best and loving, child of God that I can be. My T and I never specifically talked about goals, but a committment to grow both spiritually, emotionally... in all ways is my goal. (It would be easier if we were both Christians, though)

What am I working on? All of the abuse issues need to be dealt with in order for healthy growth to happen. I wish this were not so. This is the painful stuff.

What are some of the issues? I have trouble with adult relationships, feeling loved...possible attachment issues... and generally being weird.

what first got me into therapy? You can laugh (in fact- please do) but when my T asked me why I thought I needed therapy, I told him the Cymbalta commercials- (you know the one with the dog) made me cry.
I guess broken relationships got me in, and now my family sees a stronger me, so they want me to keep going. Since I love my T (in some sense- still trying to figure that one out) I don't mind going.

What keeps me in therapy- mostly the pursuit of healing, I would like to think, but right now this fact is a bit cloudy. My relationship with my T is teaching me lots of stuff, so both are vital.

The sex and age of my T is important. He is maybe 2 and 1/2 yrs older than me. And so much cooler than me. We do have lots in common, and I truly believe if I were healthier and did not know him as a result of therapy, we could be friends. We have common interests. and common goals, just different paths.

My goal for therapy was to give it 3 months. All of my problems should be able to be solved in that time period. My T said 6 months. 1 and 1/2 years later, I realize that I have no idea of what I am talking about.

Great questions Monte, good stuff to look at, and remember. Thanks, I never outlined this stuff before.

Sorry for my rudeness-
Welcome skybarbie, I am looking forward to reading more of your posts. I am glad that you are comfortable sharing.
Do not worry about writing too much, as we all do from time to time.
You will find much support on this site, the people are wonderful, oh so suppportive, and incredibly knowledgeable. We joke about a few of the people being therapists because of their wisdom.
Again, welcome

Mayo

Thanks for starting such an interesting thread, Monte. I don't have time to answer all the questions right now, but I just had to respond when I saw that Mayo started therapy because of Cymbalta commercials. For me, it was the John Tesch radio show. I had run into my old BF in fall of 2007, and by Feb 2008 I was in full-blown pining mode. Shortly before Valentine's Day, Mr. Tesch aired a piece about how long it should take to "get over" someone after a breakup. About 30 days was the general consensus on how long it takes to get back to feeling "normal". He said if you're still pining after six months, you should probably get professional help. I had just crossed the two-decade mark, so...I started making some phone calls.

My original goal was to find out what was at the root of never having gotten over my old BF and heal whatever it is that didn't heal right. And that's definitely what we're getting to in the therapy now, which has a lot to do with how my relationship was with my parents in all the years before I met the BF (I still can't really connect to any feelings for the parents...but still have longings for the old BF that feel a lot like a desire for approval). Also applying what is learned to my marriage and parenting today. It is very messy and definitely not linear and we're not even remotely close to being "done".

So that's it, John Tesch is the one who got me into therapy.

SG

I gotta say, SG... John Tesch is full of it. Thirty days?!?! Yeah, maybe if you're 15 years old. I don't know anyone who gets over a break-up in 30 days. Our society is phobic of grieving or something. Just my two cents.

I am in therapy for PTSD and dissociation. I have been in therapy off and on since my teen years, but had a 15 year break until a year ago when I had to go back due to intrusive PTSD symptoms. I am working through a lifetime history of sexual, physical and emotional abuse.

My ultimate goal is to be able to feel both good and bad things without wanting to run away, numb out or otherwise escape. I want to feel real. I want to stop feeling so different from everyone else. I want to be able to actually live my life rather than just survive it from day to day. Luckily, I have an awesome T and she has helped me so much already. It's going to be a long road, but I think one that will be worth having traveled in the end.

Hang in there- scaredtoriskmyself, It does get better.

If you are new- welcome. Lots of well informed loving people here.