Just curious if anyone has ever lied in therapy when asked something only to later reveal to your T that you lied? If so, how did your T react when you told the truth? Do you think telling the truth made things worse (by creating an atmosphere of distrust?) or was it a good thing that you told the truth?

I haven't ever lied to my T, but I'm sure that if I did and I came to her and told her what I had done that she would handle it like she does everything else. Calmly and with acceptance.

I guess it might also depend on what was lied about and what the motivation was for telling the lie in the first place.

I hope everything is okay.

T2 asked me something point blank today and I lied to her.

Then later I felt horrible for it and it ate away at me, so I emailed her and told her I lied and that I was sorry for lying. I haven't heard back.

Now I am regretting having told the truth. I feel like it is going to just plant a seed of distrust in her.

Yup.

Early on in therapy, I lied about substance abuse fairly regularly.

As we've gone on in our work, I've found that there have been lies by omission, or simply truths I wasn't ready to face.

My T. has handled all of these admissions with so much grace and understanding, there has been no shame in any of it.

Lies of omission here too, but I'm kind to myself and call it "hiding." T never makes any commentary when I tell him I've been doing it. He pretty much just treats the information as if I had given it to him when he asked.

quote:

Originally posted by scaredtoriskmyself:
I haven't ever lied to my T, but I'm sure that if I did and I came to her and told her what I had done that she would handle it like she does everything else. Calmly and with acceptance.

I guess it might also depend on what was lied about and what the motivation was for telling the lie in the first place.

I hope everything is okay.

I'm not really sure why I lied. I think I was caught off guard by her question. I wasn't anticipating it and my knee-jerk reaction was to lie about it but later wished I'd just been honest from the get-go.

quote:

Originally posted by deepfried:
I lie by omission constantly.

oh, i do this as well but I don't feel guilty about that sort of "lie". I'm just feeling guilty because T asked me a direct question and I lied to her face (or rather to the carpet!). I suspect she already knows I was lying.

quote:

Originally posted by Blanket Girl:
Yup.

Early on in therapy, I lied about substance abuse fairly regularly.

As we've gone on in our work, I've found that there have been lies by omission, or simply truths I wasn't ready to face.

My T. has handled all of these admissions with so much grace and understanding, there has been no shame in any of it.

I feel good hearing that your T was accepting of you when you can clean with her about your lies. I'm really hoping that mine does the same.

quote:

Originally posted by yakusoku:
Lies of omission here too, but I'm kind to myself and call it "hiding." T never makes any commentary when I tell him I've been doing it. He pretty much just treats the information as if I had given it to him when he asked.

Girlfriend, I am totally with you...that's not lying. Its hiding. Or not finding it "relevant to bring up today" as I like to tell myself.

quote:

and when I told the truth, that I lied, I was accepted more than I thought I could be.

This part of what you wrote really jumped out at me. From what I am hearing so far, it seems that it is always better to come clean than to keep the lie a lie out of fear of how the other person will react. (at least in the case of Ts)

I'm totally freaking out that I haven't heard back from T2 yet about my email where I confessed. Trying hard to stay calm but I'm so activated right now. I'm certain she hates me, is going to terminate my therapy now, etc.

I can't call her; T2 doesn't do calls.

I'm really wishing I hadn't told her the truth. At least not today. Our session ended with me telling her how pissed I was at her last Friday. She had to drag it out of me and I ended up lashing out and called her fake. This was totally unrelated to my lie, but still...the two combined, I'm certain she's like, "Screw this chick. I'm done".

Ugh. I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

Honestly, LG, as a T...I'm sure she has had worse! Much, much worse! That's what I tell myself when I behave what I consider to be "ridiculously" to my T. In my T's case, he has run anger management and drug rehab programs in addition to specializing in male sexuality issues and lots of childhood trauma. So, I have to imagine dealing with angry drug and sex addicts has to be worse than some hiding, projecting, anger, etc. Right? I'm sure you are not your T's most challenging client ever and part of her job is to consider your welfare, so she wouldn't drop you just because you frustrated her, if she's any sort of T you want to be working with. She would have to think it was for your own good.

Thanks, Yaku. I hope you are right.

I guess my fear about her terminating with me is because she has said several times she would prefer for me to work with just one T and the fight we had today had to do with me working with two Ts and them communicating with one another, so it basically reinforced her concern about me working with two Ts.

Add to that my lying to her about something else...

I'm just worried I've pushed her over the edge.

It varies, but typically she replies quickly with a brief response.