I saw her for a lot of years and she just retired or rather moved on to something else. Now I see a new therapist and she is completely different. The old therapist told me I could email her and she'd respond. I could leave voice messages for her but she would not respond to those. SO now the new therapist intervened and has my email messages to my old T sent to her. Also any phone call I make to my old T is sent to the new one.

I am crushed by this. The old one told me that she won't respond at all anymore because it is interferring with my relationship with my new T.

I am having a hard time even liking my new T for what she set up. She contacted the old one and set this all up. I feel humiliated and I am in so much pain. I cry all the time. I have stopped talking to people. I feel like I am in hell.

Thank you HB your post really touched me. I cried when I read it.

I feel so bad right now. I am in so much pain.

Thank you so much for understanding and for your kind words. I feel I have no where else to turn.

Hi Woodensoul, I just wanted to tell you that my heart also goes out to you with what you are going through. We all experience all the ups and downs known to therapy and the intrinsic pains of our reltionship that comes with our therapists. It is a rather heartbreaking process at times of which I am in over my head right now and thus probably not a whole lot of comfort. But I wanted to at least extend a warm welcome to you. Please keep posting all you want. There are many who can relate and who care. Like HB said, Consider yourself among friends here. You're not alone. This is some really tough stuff, but we take turns helping one another. Please be assured of our deep interest in you.
JM

Woodensoul,

I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Not only did you lose your T but the now you have been cut off from her so how does your new T expect you to trust her now that she has does this?

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I am glad that you have reached out to us here on this forum. We all try hard to be there for each other as much as we can because we have all suffered through the pain and loneliness ourselves.

Woodensoul

Welcome to the group! Some members have been posting here for quite some time and there are others of us, like myself, who are fairly new. None of us are new to the highs and lows of therapy and our issues. I can tell you for myself, the people I have met on this board have given me so much support and I am amazed at their courage. We all have our good moments, and our not so good moments, but this is a place where you can share that and get great advice and comfort.

I'm so sorry that your T retired and you are going through so much pain. That is a fear that I carry with me all the time. The abandonment/rejection thing. Have you told your new T how you feel about her actions and what she set up with the new T? I know this won't make you feel any better, but I think your old T has your best interests at heart. She knows that you need to make a connection with the new one in order to progress in therapy. This wouldn't be easy or painless for anyone and I really do feel your pain.

Please keep posting as we are all interested in you and how you are doing.

PL

woodensoul -

I wanted to add my welcome and let you know you're not alone. I've recently gone through switching therapists (it's a complicated story but I was seeing my son's T for issues related to him, and then he had to switch therapists so I can no longer see her for insurance reasons). I had grown very close to her and it was heartbreaking to no longer see her. I had an extremely difficult few weeks after our last session. I only found some relief after I talked to me old T, got out all my feelings, and got some reassurance from her, although I still miss her terribly.

I can see your new T's perspective but I don't think I would be very happy with her making this arrangement. In fact I'd be really upset. My new T encourages me not to confide in my old T the same way I used to, but would never stop me if I tried. I can understand you feeling humiliated.

I would also encourage you to talk to your new T about how this has made you feel. Does she understand how deeply this has hurt you? Part of therapy is learning how to face difficult spots in relationships and being able to move forward from there. (I have learned that from the wonderful people here on this board.)

Take care.

OW

Hi woodensoul,
I wanted to say welcome and I'm so glad you came here to talk about what you're going through. My first therapist retired around three years ago, and although we had plenty of time to process it, there was no contact afterward. I know how deep that loss goes and how difficult it is to deal with it. And I'm very sorry that you're present T cut you off.

Did you new T talk to you about cutting off contact with your old T before doing so? I agree that in either case, it is important for you to talk to your present T. I know that the level of anger and hurt and distrust I would experience in dealing what you're going through would interfere with my doing the work I needed to do in therapy.

And please keep coming here, it is an amazing group of people, and we do all understand what you're going through. You don't have to go through this alone.

AG

I think that is very rude to do, I think that your new T should not interviene. That's me opinion. But I'm only 14 so maybe me opinion counts for little huh.

Samy

quote:

And Samy your opinion counts even more because you are the only 14 year old and you remind us what that's like.

Thanks. I just not having a good week. more memories and nightmares and sh*t (HA! don't tell Scott I sweared!!) And me T goin on a trip so we seein her this day instead of end of the week. Changin days stinks too!

Samy

Samy

I completely understand how changing your routine can make you feel out of sorts. My mother used to say I was a "creature of habit." It's the little things that throw me off, not the big things. Hope it goes ok for you. And, non of us here will spill the beans to Scott.

PL

Thank you all of you.

I am overwhelmed at your warm and caring responses. I want to address each of you individually but am sort of down and I bet you guys understand that it zaps your energy.

My new t agreed to not have this connection with my old T anymore. I am grateful.

I am also grateful I found this place.

It's rare that you find anyone person you can discuss this stuff with let alone a whole group of people like you guys.

I look forward to getting to know you all better.

I hope you are all doing okay and being good to yourselves. I promise to be good to myself too. (that's not always easy is it?)

Wood

Wood

No need to feel pressured to answer. Just jump in when the feeling hits you. We all really do understand the zapped energy. It will return. I don't know what hit me today, I'm on fire! Cleaning the house like crazy! Best that I take advantage of it, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I'm glad you told your new T how you are feeling. Hopefully that will help you to start building a trusting relationship with her.

Keep hanging in there and we will look forward to hearing how you are doing.

PL

Wood -

I'm grateful to have found this place too. It's a great place and I'm amazed over and over again how much everybody really understands.

Take care,

OW

Thank you all of you!

YOu did help me. I am so grateful.

I want to give back to you too.

I get easily distracted but will work to focus enough to give back.

It is my hope to develope supportive relationships here.

I am cleaning my home today and plan to stop by here on and off.

I have so many questions for you guys but don't want to overwhelm you.

Wood

woodensoul,
You're more than welcome but don't worry about what you're giving back. Often, without our realizing it, the questions we ask, the doubts and struggles we express are of incredible value to everyone else. If nothing else, it can often give us a sense of at least not being the only person to struggle with it.

And please don't hold back on the questions. You have to realize that when you ask a question, you have no idea how many other readers are longing to hear the answer. And honestly, we're a talkative bunch (Some more than others. )

AG