quote:

The feelings that you describe seem more related to the situation at hand with your T and what it is triggering from the past, not depression in the organic sense. More on that when I respond to the other thread.

STRM, that is IT, exactly. I don't fell depressed most times. I do have anxiety at times and it is much less than when I first went into therapy. It has lessened because of having my Ts support and knowing he was there for me if things got too chaotic. My T feels that anxiety leads into depression and my state of the past few days has confirmed this to him.

But what I'm reacting to is the fear/terror that he is abandoning me and that our relationship which was SO important to me and so vital to this work I'm doing, is being threatened and may end. I'm in a lot of pain and feeling suicidal at times and I just find it hard to want to go on. Like a part of me is already dead. Would it be better if the threat of his loss elicited no reaction from me?

Prior to the last two weeks I was going along doing well with life. And in the last few months I was feeling extrememely connected with T and amazed at how the changes we were working on were having SUCH a positive effect on my mental health. I had made real, measurable progress. But one set back and he wants me to see another T and be gone or get onto meds to "stablilize" me.

Thanks for your links and information. I will definitely look into them. I know that if I try an AD and have ANY side effects at all I will freak and just stop taking them. My mom was on Lexapro and had horrible results so we took her off of it. This is the one he keeps mentioning to me. Of course, he can't prescribe so I'll have to talk to my dr. or a P. More expense. My other option, which I have very seriously considered was going and getting the damn meds and showing them to him and then NOT taking them. Just allowing him to believe that I am so we can just not have to fight over this any more. I can say... all is well I feel good and no problems and we can get on with therapy. Who would really know?

Blackbird you are lucky that your T does not push this with you. I will check into the book you mention. I have researched and I found so much conflicting info on A-D and depression. There is no conclusive evidence on their efficacy in all situations. They help some and don't help others. Also they are usually recommended for severe depression. If I have depression at all it is mild and I argue that it's not serious enough to warrant drugs with side effects.

Thanks for responding. I appreciate it. I feel so trapped and cornered right now. I can't see anything except darkness.

TN

Hello,

This is an interesting thread.

Since I've suffered from depression, learned a lot from it and will soon open a private counselling practice, I thought I'd share my experience and knowledge about ADs and overcoming depression. I've lived on 3 different continents in the past 12 years, did A LOT of research, interviewed clients, patients, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counsellors, etc... and what I found might be of some assistance. Although this is somewhat basic. So, bear with me

First, SSRIs are considered as a 'mild' mood lifting drug. By 'mild' I mean that they are not physiologically addictive like other drugs, such as anxiolytics, and are not supposed to make you feel like a zombie. Side effects, if any, are usually peaking during the first 10 days of treatment and then diminish, although some of them may remain present during the length of the treatment. This is NORMAL and should be EXPECTED. It usually takes anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks for SSRIs to become effective (at the correct dosage). I'd say that a good 6 months is a minimum to fully benefit from these drugs.

Now, all SSRIs are not the same. Some will work better than others depending on how your body react to them. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict which one is best for you. It's about trial and error. Having said that, it has been shown that many many many times, SSRIs SHOULD NOT be taken with another similar drugs. Do not take more than 1 SSRI at a time. What I mean is this: if your Doctor starts you on, let's say Prozac, and you don't really feel better after 4 or 5 weeks, I would strongly object if you were prescribed another SSRI to take along with the Prozac. The proper course would be to up the dosage of the Prozac and wait for another 10 days. I've seen and see too many people taking way too much medications that are poorly prescribed whether in combination and/or dosage. I can't stress this enough !!

If you feel a bit better but find that you are lacking energy, look into SSNRIs. These affect Serotonin AND Norepinephrine. Then again, it will take a while for the positive effects of the drugs to manifest themselves and you might need to adjust your dosage and wait before trying something else.

Something important to understand: Anti-depressants are NOT anti-biotics. Depression is not a bacterial infection. You can't just take 2 a day and feel better in 5 days. It just doesn't work like that. Not many Doctors educate their patients on what they are prescribing them.

ALSO, depending on the severity of your depression, drugs alone might not solve your problems. Remember this: AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT IS A 'CHEMICAL CRUTCH'. It's sole use, when appropriately delivered, is to ASSIST your nervous system. It will not cure your depression, it will help YOU 'cure' it. But as I said, depending on cases, drugs alone might not be enough.

If after a few weeks of taking ADs you still feel depressed, seek therapy. AD + a proper therapy will maximise your chance of overcoming your depression.

BUT Therapies and/or their practicians may not suit you either... There are many different sorts of therapies out there and not all of them will fit your personality. What I'm trying to say is it might take some time and a lot of patience to find the right combination of approaches for you to get over your disorder. And you shouldn't lose hope. I know, I've been there myself and I've witnessed many people in the same situation.

I used the word 'educate' earlier on. Don't forget that knowledge is power. You might find yourself reading a book or an article and suddenly realize a lot of things in 5 seconds, something that will put things into perspective.

Hope this helps a little and clarifies a couple of things.