to ask T to delete an email without reading? I went all stream of consciousness on him because I was in that bad place and too chicken to call, but really needed to talk. And now I am projecting all sorts of judgments from him and really regretting revealing myself there. What would you do?

No, I don't think it's rude. But I'm pretty sure your T will probably not follow your request.
I think you should tough it out Yaku. I always feel dramatic or embarrassed when I reach out while I am feeling really low but in the end, it's a chance for the person you reach out to, to get to know you better and in this case, for your T to know more how you are when you don't feel good. When describing to him in session how you felt it will come out differently than if he just reads that email.
Do you think you can leave it? I didn't mean to be too blunt. I understand how tough it is but I really think this can be a good thing.
((((yaku))))

My T doesn't check email everyday & we usually only discuss their contents in session. It seems he reads or rereads them the day of our session so they are fresh on his mind. He makes notes all over them (which I'm ok with). He has only sent me a reply once, because we usually communicate by text between sessions. It's not like there is anything really bad in the email, just more detail than I usually give on harming, etc. and I'm projecting that he will think I'm making it up or doing it on purpose to get his attention and then I feel ashamed I didn't control it and want to hide (but I can't because I already sent it). I texted him how I was feeling about the email, but said I choose to trust him. This is hard! I want rules so I don't have to make these decisions for myself.

I think you made a great decision in the end. I know it's super hard to tell of SI. It will help. The more you talk about it, the more your T can help, and the easier in the long run it will be to beat it. I think it is pretty unlikely your T will think you are making it up for attention or anything like that. You shouldn't feel ashamed. You were honest and authentic, and seeking help and healing - all very wonderful things. Try to be kind to you, althought I know it is super hard to risk like you have, you a good thing!