Hi,

Am I the only one who experiences a shift inside when I look at my P and see she's attuned and there for me?

It is getting pretty hard to tolerate...I mean, it becomes really uncomfortable when she just looks back at me like she has all the time in the world and she cares. It has escalated into other major physical symptoms and I am really afraid of this when it happens. It now happens every time I walk in there.

It's like I have a battle going on inside...and I'm not sure what it is I'm so afraid of and what all these physical feelings are about. It is mysterious to me.....I don't know, maybe I'm completely off base? I thought they were early memories trying to come up but I am doubting that. I am beginning to feel out of control with this and I have to go for an appt again early in the morning...I want to be there but it has become worriesome

I'd like to avoid this completely although I've never quit in therapy before. I don't think I could quit and live with myself, but I'm starting to consider it.

IHTS

NO QUITTING!!! If I can't quit, neither can you!!

It's scary to feel like someone is there for you, I know! Tell her about what you're feeling, it's a good place to start in your next session! I want to hear about it when you get home!

SO! aka HollyBaby0

Yeah. This right brain therapy stuff isn't so easy......not when you own the right brain that's been traumatized and is scared to death.....safe or not in there with her, the memories are like indelible ink.

Yes, I've never known anyone else who feels physical pain like that...sometimes it happens when I'm there...sometimes happens just thinking about her or being in a session. It can be pain in my gut/abdomen that is a generalized pain or sometimes it is stabbing, like being stabbed with a big knife. Once when a therapist put her hand on my shoulder as we walked down the hall I ended up doubled over the pain was so bad like I'd actually been stabbed with a knife. It freaked her out as well as me. Whatever this is???? ....I don't know for sure.

But I don't think I'd call it a neg transference, I think it's more like a conversion of attachment injury emotional pain and need into an actual physical pain. These days, what I experience, I'm thinking might relate to abuse in my early years.

what you are going through is rather normal when therapy is working...

i dont really know how to explain it but i know or can relate to what you are experiencing

it might be reall y good to share these feelings/sensations, etc with your therapist...

Thanks for your replies. We have been working on this quite a bit over the last few sessions. I still don't know exactly what it is....but it's good to know others understand this and that it's not that uncommon. I'd hate to be that peculiar!

Summer, that's a great way to describe the pain...like cells ripping. I could describe some of the times it's happened like that. Isn't it incredible the way our mind and body are so connected....it's like they each talk and communicate in their own ways trying to help us understand our truth.



Karie

Hey guys!

I definitely experience this. When I'm with my T, I have a pain in my chest. Sometimes it feels like it's in my gut, too. It sometimes feels like squeezing, sometimes it feels like an ache, sometimes it feels like a knife stabbing my chest. I'd associate it with the feeling of yearning or longing. I experienced a similar feeling when my mom died (and I still do when I think about the fact that my mom died). When I'm not with my T, and I'm thinking about her, which is OFTEN, I also often experience this pain. I've told her about it many times. She sometimes says that she's sad that missing her is so painful for me. We have worked on having me try to separate anxiety from the pain. She says that when I feel the pain, I "clamp down" and become anxious, which makes the pain worse, and makes me feel like I can't manage the pain. When I'm with her and I feel the pain, my mind thinks, "I want her," (not sexually) or "I need her," or "I'm afraid she's going to leave me." She says the pain is at the core of my issues, and has to do with abandonment, and it's good that I'm now at the point we're I can feel it and discuss it and work with it, because that's how I'll work through my deepest issues.

catgirl

Hi Guys,

I didn't respond because I assumed that the 'pain' you were all feeling was a horrible thing, and that didn't apply to me. But CG explains the pain I have when I see that my P is really hearing/seeing me, or even when I'm missing her between sessions. I never considered it to be a horrible thing, but it is an uncomfortable feeling of someone sitting on my chest .. I didn't know how to explain it .. But it's definately a feeling of yearning for her. Thanks for making me see that CG

BW,

quote:

what you are going through is rather normal when therapy is working...

You're probably right. I'm curious to know why you say this. Does everyone experience it when therapy is working?

Stressed Out,

quote:

Thanks for making me see that CG

Sure! Anytime!

cat