You guys are all so brave. You impress me with how candid you are about some of the most painful topics (heart wrenching feelings really) that people can experience.

I find that touch is very important to me in therapy. I don't know if I'd see a T who refused any sort of touch at all. Perhaps I should explore that!

I am seeing a new T now and I have an odd problem with her considering that I do welcome touch. I feel sort of like she is invading my personal space sometimes. I know she means absolutely no harm but I find myself getting all tight in my body and wanting to bury myself further into the couch. She sits in an office chair and sometimes she rolls it right up to me and is almost knees to knees with me while we talk. I am afraid to say anything because I don't want to make her think that I would never want that but it's just it takes me time to get to know people and so far she is still a stranger to me. So when she gets that close and doesn't move away my body tenses up. I have almost asked her to scoot back a little bit but again I am unsure about this.

[ She sits in an office chair and sometimes she rolls it right up to me and is almost knees to knees with me while we talk. I am afraid to say anything because I don't want to make her think that I would never want that but it's just it takes me time to get to know people and so far she is still a stranger to me. So when she gets that close and doesn't move away my body tenses up. I have almost asked her to scoot back a little bit but again I am unsure about this.[/QUOTE]


Hi Jo.

It took me a long time to get the courage to tell my T that I needed touch, so i know how hard that can be. If it is too hard to be direct right now, maybe you could be lighthearted and maybe even "suggest" that you need to stretch out your legs a bit. Just a though. Maybe the combination of your body language and the hint with get the message across!

whereami

quote:

Originally posted by Chronically Transferred:

There's this thread on here called "Hugs in Therapy" that you might find interesting if you haven't read it.
---CT

Hi CT--I have gone back several times and read the thread, and specifically many of the things you have written. Your words are so helpful. Every session with my T right now seems to be a dance--I keep crying about how much I need touch and she keeps pushing me to sit with how sad I am that I can't get it. It is maddening! Today, I had the hugest urge to go for the poke, and just take the damn touch into my own hands! When I thought about your post, it completely made my day! I tried to imagine what the heck my T would do, and the surprise, but then I wonder, is there anything i could do anymore that would actually surprise my T? Anyway, your post really made a difference to me, and sparked a great impulse! Thanks

whereami

My parents are elderly and they both have these gripper things they use to grab things off the ground etc. It looks like this:


Anyway I had this vision of you suddenly whipping one of these out with the graspers extended and saying "Won't you hold my hand?"

Hi Jo. That is awesome! Now I feel like bringing a prop with me. . . Thanks for putting a smile on my face after what has otherwise been a really crappy day!

whereamI

I think it would be funny!!

Sort of chiding her for her no touch rule!

WhereamI-

quote:

Hi CT--I have gone back several times and read the thread, and specifically many of the things you have written. Your words are so helpful.

Wow, whereamI, I'm glad that my words are helpful to you. Thanks for letting me know!

quote:

Today, I had the hugest urge to go for the poke, and just take the damn touch into my own hands! When I thought about your post, it completely made my day! I tried to imagine what the heck my T would do, and the surprise, but then I wonder, is there anything i could do anymore that would actually surprise my T?

Well, what can i say, it is fun to imagine what our t's would do if we randomly messed with them! I mean, sometimes it truly feels (to me) like I am that kid who has been told "don't touch that!" but decides to look mom in the eye while I SLOWLY touch it, just to cross the line and see what will happen! Unfortunately, when I told my t of my poking plot... she wasn't really all that amused. She said "I see the playfulness in it, but I don't think it is an innocent as you think it it." LLAAAMMMMEEEE Do they have to take the fun out of EVERYTHING? Them and their BoUnDaRiEs..... I'm still tempted to do a lil pump-fake when I hand her my check... I kinda wanna know if she'd flinch or something... ahhh, the power seems so attractive, but I guess, at the end of the day, I don't pay her so that I won't listen to her. I trust that she does, indeed, know what I need, and if sitting with the awfulness of no touch is what I need, then I guess that is what I have to do.

Jo-

quote:

Anyway I had this vision of you suddenly whipping one of these out with the graspers extended and saying "Won't you hold my hand?"

Dude, you are brilliant!!!! That would be SSSSOOOOOOOO funny..... I wonder what my t would do with THAT!

-CT

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Chronically Transferred:
Unfortunately, when I told my t of my poking plot... she wasn't really all that amused. She said "I see the playfulness in it, but I don't think it is an innocent as you think it it."

So lame. Our Ts need to lighten up a little bit. We have to have our fun tooQ

I'm still tempted to do a lil pump-fake when I hand her my check... I kinda wanna know if she'd flinch or something... ahhh, the power seems so attractive,

Gotta admit, that playful impulse gets pretty overpowering when I give my T her check. Its just such a prime opportunity to grab that physical contact!!! Its fun to think about anyway, even if in the end, sigh, those #@$%#@@ boundries get in the way.

whereamI

Hey sorry CT, I am not good with using quotes yet. It looks like it did not work in my last post when I tried to quote from your post!.