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This message has been edited. Last edited by: kitty,

Hi Guys,
I just wanted to chime in that feeling like that when you post is perfectly normal, we've all felt it. I'm over a 1000 posts, get way too good feedback from everyone (thank you!) and I can still feel like that when I post. The truth is that opening up and talking about how we feel makes us very vulnerable. Here's my trick for getting it around it. Next time you start to think that, I want you to try and remember the last time you read someone else's posts and thought "what a jerk." I'm betting good money you never have. And I'd betting good money no one's every thought that about any of your posts.

Everyone who comes here has a valuable contribution to make, some experience or outlook that is different from anyone else's, it's in sharing all this we find our strength. So don't be scared, ok, scratch that, you can't help being scared, but go ahead and post anyway. You have NO idea who you're helping but I will guarentee that you are helping someone. If for no other reason than that someone reading your post can think "wow, I'm not the only one to feel that way."

All that said BB, I find poetry five times as scary to post as a normal prose comment. I think because when I write poetry I am usually in a very deep place trying to articulate something that is so hard to put into words. I feel even more exposed when it comes to the poetry. When I started writing poetry (my first in about 30 years!)in the beginning of therapy I told my T I was writing it and he told me that if I was willing he would love to read it. I totally freaked and ended up sending it to a very dear friend who I knew would be honest with me, and I explained that only she could save me from abject humiliation so please tell me if it was crap (which I was convinced it was). She totally shocked me by liking it and I then sent it to my T. Which was good because we've used the poetry I've written in my therapy and there was one poem that led to a major breakthrough when we discussed it.

BB, this is my very long way of saying I'd like to see it too.

AG

Hi BB, Monte - thanks for admitting you find it hard to post, I wrote that I so agreed with that , on another thread this morning, but just want to re-inforce that now. Spmetimes there is safety in numbers when you are trying to convice yourself you are not alone with something

BB I would too love to see the poem if you feel brave enogh to post it here. I love poetry and write a little poetry myself and at times when I can't put thoughts down on paper with normal writing, poetry comes in on a different level. Likewise reading poetry feels deeper and more powerful sometimes than prose. In rare bold moments I have given it to my T to look at - heart in my mouth because it always feels so much more personal and intimate. She has always responded very positively and has been moved to shed a tear on the odd occasion by what I have written. Wow that's always amazing for me because I feel I fumble along not expressing myself in sessions properly, so it's helpful if another medium can do that for me rather than talking.

But like AG I know how hard it is to give her those poems so I can understand why you might have withdrawn your post BB. If you want to keep it private then that too is fine I think. Well done for even getting it there momentarily

Sometimes I say to my T that I've written something but can't show it and she always says 'well you can if you want to, but in your own time. Well done for telling me'.

Funnily enough I read a poem a while ago that I love and think that you all might like to read -but am scared to post it cos I'm imagining that it might not not be new to you, as I think it's quite well known. But I love it, so might try to push myself to write it here anyway sometime

starfish

Hi BlackBird! Just wanted to add my voice to the group, to say I can relate to how you feel about posting sometimes. I feel that way too, a lot. But I've NEVER thought anything bad about anyone else's post, and certainly nothing about anyone being a "jerk".

The only thing that comes close is when we get the occasional post from an advertiser...that does annoy me a little. But that's because they are using the board for something totally unrelated to its purpose.

In fact, it's the more personal things that people post, when I can recognize the courage it took to post, where I think, wow, they are really brave, they really want healing, they are really working hard, and more often than not, I think...I'm so glad they posted that because it was something I was afraid to talk about but now that they started I think I can.

And finally, I would like to request a copy of your poem, too, if you'd be willing to share it with me. I saw it before you took it down, but was only able to skim it because I was in a hurry, and planned to read it more carefully later.

And Starfish...I'd love to see that poem if you'd like to share it! Even if it's one I've heard before, I've never heard your take on it, why you love it, and so I would get to see it in a new way.

SG

BB don't feel pressurised please. You must only do what feels right for you. It's horrid when things blow up too big - I know.

But will try when I have a moment tomrrow to write poem out here. Am just off out now so let off the hook !!!!

starfish

Hi again BB - just wanted to echo Starfish, I didn't mean to pressure you whatsoever. I just meant to communicate that I value your thoughts. I won't feel badly at all if you choose not to share your poem! I totally understand.

SG

LOL!!!

Monte, stop that teasing...now BB's really going to feel pressured...still no pressure, BB!

Monte,
Don't make me get the HTML slapper!! (ROFLMAO!! )

BB glad you're not feeling pressure,it's really important that you be able to control when and how much you say and wait until you feel safe.

Now, I think I left the slapper in the hall closet...

AG

Ok, I don't think I read the poem, however this discussion made me interested

You guys are a trip! BB, charge per line for those who want to read your poem!!!

-CT

OK BB here goes. . . no rights for me on this one! Will track down the poet - I've just mislaid it, but won't delay in case I chicken out completely!!



Oooo I just love that, it is so so powerful and I feel goosey and a bit teary even typing it.

starfish

This message has been edited. Last edited by: starfish,

Now I've found the poet - John T Woods (1974) - it's entitled Poem for Everyone

starfish

Thank you so much for sharing this, Starfish...it's beautiful, and so true.

SG

Thank you Dragonfly,SG and BB, I am so glad you liked it.

Dagonfly, it feels really special for me that it is going in your therapy box. Wow

BB yes I love poetry too, have several books with poems that have helped me enormously, spoken to me when other things can't. We will have to keep brave and post our favourites from time to time

starfish

Thank you for sharing this with us BB. I know it takes a lot and I think you're very courageous. It's a wonderful poem and I think you've got a wonderful talent. BTW, I've copied and pasted it so I can read it after you take it down!! For what it's worth though, I think it should stay up!!

(((BB)))

Thanks again.

-CT