Today is the 1st anniversary of my mother in law's passing. I'm doing well but am sad. It doesn't seem like it should be significant but it is. I'm doing a lot of remembering about that last day. We were at the hospital with the whole family since we knew mom was dying. Around six in the evening we made the decision to take her off medications that were keeping her blood pressure high enough to barely keep her alive. At that point there was no hope of recovery and she had been unconscious for hours. She died about 15 to 20 minutes after we stopped the meds. I am grateful that we all had a chance to say goodbye while she was still conscious and that it was clear to the whole family that it was time to let her go. And the doctors and nurses at the hospital could not have handled it better.

I really miss her. In some ways, it feels like it can't already be a year and in others it feels like its been so much longer.

AG

AG, it sounds like remembering and holding her in your heart, if that's the right phrase, is a great way to remember her. It's nice you had a chance to say goodbye.

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It doesn't seem like it should be significant but it is.

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It doesn't seem like it should be significant but it is. I'm doing a lot of remembering about that last day.

AG

It is all very significant. We all grieve in different ways and no one's way is better than another's. It is very healing to remember the day and resolve your feelings about it. It also takes some of us longer than others. Just be good to yourself and let it happen the way it wants to happen. I am wishing the best for you today.

PL

BIG (((((AG)))))!
This is the day huh? I know this is very painful for you on a very deep and multi-faceted level. She was a wonderful woman and I am glad you had the opportunity to have had her in your life and to experience her genuine love. Certainly you will experience much comfort in that and just how much she meant to you and your family, but it is tough nonetheless. I am sure that she was just as grateful that you responded so lovingly in return and took such good care of her.

My thoughts are with you.
JM

AG-

I'm sorry AG, I know this has got to be a hard day for you. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that your relationship with her was a special one.

Thinking of you and your family,

OW

Thank you all so much, it was such a comfort to be heard, understood and receive so much support from everyone.

I am so sorry for your loss. Also it is so much harder when you have to decide to remove life support. It sounds like you guys did the right thing. My thoughts are with you AG. My heart goes out to you.

Wood

Hi Woodensoul, and welcome to the forums. Thank you for your condolences. We really got off pretty easy. The doctors essentially kept my MIL alive long enough for my two brother in laws to get to the hospital and come to terms with her dying. My MIL lived with my family but both my brother in laws live out of town. So my family was much more prepared as my MIL had been going donwhill for a number of months. And all we did was stop a medication, she was still on life support when she died. I know people who have faced much worse decisions in letting go of a loved one. And the whole family was in agreement which really helped. It was just her time; as she would have put it, she had a good long run. But thank you for your sadness on my behalf, I really appreciate it. The burden of loss is a lighter weight knowing that I have people around me who care. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

AG