I just got a phone call from my sister this morning that my grandmother died. It's my mom's mom, and my mom died a year ago. It's weird how people keep going away.

So far, I haven't had any feelings about it, which is weird, too. I wonder if I will.

I'm trying to decide if I want to spend $800 to fly out, when I already have a trip scheduled in late July.

Anyway, just wanted to share what's going on with me and get some support here.

Catgirl

CG, you know you always have our support; If it is too hard to go, for whatever reason, know that you are doing the right thing for yourself.

Your feelings will come when you are ready. Right now, you have overcome a lot in such a short time. Its hard. You also need to take care of yourself. That in and of itself is a feeling.

You are very cared for.

WhereamI

I'm sorry catgirl.

There was a period of 5 years where I lost my mom and 3 of her sisters. I felt different with each one, some I felt nothing, and others came with a lot of sadness. I didn't have many feelings when my grandmother died (also within those 5 years) but we didn't get along very well in life and weren't very close.

I think whatever you decide about going or waiting is fine. I don't think funerals are for those who died, but to help the families mourn. So whatever you feel is best for you is what you should do.

Take care of yourself.

OW

sorry to hear about your loss. sendingn prayers.
scott

oh catgirl, i am so sorry too
There's no "right" way to feel after losing someone you care about. Sometimes it's too much to even feel anything. Consciously at least. What do you want to do? Do you want to go out? Let your instincts guide you.

LTF

Thanks for the support, you guys.

I decided not to go out, because tickets are too expensive. Also, by not going, I'm taking care of myself (too long to explain). I made this decision by myself, while my T was out of town. I feel good about it.

catgirl

(((catgirl)))...I'm glad that you've made the right decision for yourself. I agree with everyone in that there is no right way to feel and that your feelings will come when they are ready...everyone has their own way and own time to grieve(sp?)...mlc

MLC,
Thanks!

quote:

grieve(sp?)

Yes, that's spelled correctly. . . "i before e except after c"

Dear Catgirl, I am so sorry about your loss. Since you decided not to fly because of cost maybe the folks out there might have a little Memorial service when you can be there in July. Would there be anyone who would do that...so you can get some closure? It also helps to remember and write down the things (positive) you remember about her...you could share with those close to her or keep it to yourself. If you want to tell us, we would be glad to listen. Peace, Luna