sorry

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(((((((((Frosty))))))))))

I don't know, because I'm new to all this, but it sounds like maybe you're describing a lack of attunement? I also hope to some day hear the sort of things others have heard from their Ts, and I assume I will as we get deeper.

If you're not attached, beyond liking her, then it might not be a bad thing to "shop around" for a T who you can connect with better. It doesn't make either of you bad or wrong. Perhaps her approaches just aren't connecting with you. Perhaps it is something on a deeper level that you're not even fully aware of. If you do want to try to keep working with her, I would try to bring up your frustrations directly. I have found my T very willing to change when certain things just don't "work" for me.

I would ask for feedback from others who have had multiple Ts over the years. I have never had extended therapy before now. Previous sessions were always short-lived like being forced to go to a few weeks for nightmares as a kid, or family counseling as a teen, then pre-marital/marriage stuff. None went beyond two months. The people on here are really educated about different therapy styles and might be able to put their finger on what would work better for you...

-Yaku

Yaku- thank you. I made it *very* clear to T (at least I can't think how I could have made it clearer) how frustrated I am. She keeps being the same. Something in me really resists shopping for a new T though. whats that about?


Your answer as to listen to what others have to say who had various T/therapy forms just made me realize that I've posted almost exactly the same thing a few weeks ago, haven't I
I'm so sorry guys, I really appreciate all your replies and I don't mean to come across as "meh, let's see whether I can get better answers this time". Seriously.

Can I delete a thread entirely or only contents?

Oh, don't delete it!

Sometimes, it takes cycling through the same issue several times before one can really get a grasp on it. Sometimes, it takes years of doing it! I'm sure everyone on here wants to hear what you have to say, even if you've said some of it before. And even if they don't have new insights, sometimes just having your feelings validated by others is important! And, it's OK to let yourself have that even if it's the same thing over and over again, as many times as it takes to undo the message that you're not worthy of care, support, time, effort, etc.

(((PF)))

I'm sorry you aren't feeling heard by your T.
It sounds like you continue to be frustrated in your therapy with this T and you really want to find someone else or at least seek some consultation. Perhaps if you shopped around while still seeing her it would make the decision easier? I'm not sure where you are located, but in the states most psychiatrists don't do therapy. I'm sure there are some, but most just deal in the medical side of things and not the actual therapy. I can't remember if I've given you the links for finding a body centered T in your area, but I would really encourage looking for one as a possibility. They are really good at the attunement that it sounds like you are looking for and at using alternative techniques to help you heal. Let me know if you need or want the links, I'd be happy to post them.

(((PF)))

don't delete your thread or its contents. It is helpful to lots of other people (like me) who unfortunately don't know what to say to help. I am struggling with a similar related feeling with my T and don't know what to do or say about it but it helps to read other peoples stories. Maybe I will be able to post mine soon.

STRM, Please post the links. Right now I'm pretty sure if I quit with my T I'm quitting therapy completely (because it is my fault I can't do it) but maybe one day in the future I'll be able to try again.
di

Incognito: It is not your fault that your therapy isn't working. I really think that you just haven't found the right type of therapy for you yet. I've had a lot of therapy in the past, but until I started the type of work that I'm doing now I never really made substantial progress. That is why I feel so strongly about body centered therapy.

Here are some resources:

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Hakomi Institute

AEDP

Somatic Experiencing

EMDR: You will find cross over with some T's who use a mixed approach and also EMDR, my T is one of them

EMDR Institute

EMDR International

PF,

You don't post too much. To borrow from my T1, we "are here for you as much or as little as you need" us.

It wouldn't hurt for you to shop around for a T who is a better fit.

Yaku, you're too kind. Thank you. I'll leave it for the time being until the next wave of embarrassment hits

STRM,

quote:

Perhaps if you shopped around while still seeing her it would make the decision easier?

I'm not sure. I have a very strong sense of loyalty so I'd feel like I'm betraying her.
I live in central Europe btw, I was going through your links but there are only 2 EMDR in my country and no one near me.
I also don't really know anymore whether the body work is something for me at the moment . Because these exercises she gives me with the tapping... makes me furious. So I'm not sure whether I am in a place right now where I would fully commit to primarily working on a body level. But thank you so, so much for posting and helping. It is definitely something to consider later on.
As for psychiatrist. They do therapy here. I know she does. Of course there would be another battle with her because I'm not 'down' enough to consider medication because I always feel like I get every side effect listed. But I think I'll call her anyway. Just to see for 1-2 sessions how it goes with her.

incognito, ok. I won't delete. Why are we stuck in this mess? Isn't therapy hard enough as it is without having to worry about Ts? I'll be looking for your story, whenever you're ready.

LG, cross-posted. Ok, good. Yeah I know. It wouldn't hurt. I'm so shy it's painful.


**so, when I call, what do I say? Do I say that I am currently in therapy but not happy with T? Or do I not tell? Do I say that I only want a consultation? How do I do that?

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PF,

I'm sorry there aren't ones in your area, but I bet there are just not under those directories.

As far as the body therapy, that is the beauty of it. You can just use it as regular talk therapy and very very very gently ease into the other. It isn't a rapid just jump into the deep end sort of thing. It is actual the most gentle kind of therapy that I've ever been in.

Yes, I agree that therapy is hard enough without having to add T issues on top of it. (((hugs)))

Really? Ok then. You are the expert, if I find someone in my area, get ready for billions of questions

quote:

Originally posted by permafrost:
Really? Ok then. You are the expert, if I find someone in my area, get ready for billions of questions

I will gladly answer any that I can!

STRM, great, thank you!

DF, thanks. I've decided to call them on Monday. I have two Ts on my list now, they are both supervisors and psychiatrists. First question I'll ask is if they are fine with me not taking medication They were both recommended to me so that makes it a bit easier than just opening the phone book and point to a name.
Homework can be so silly. But I guess they're the experts, right? Is your T ok with you modifying them?
Thanks for my hugs!