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This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dragonfly,

Hi Echo

Sorry to hear of your lack of photos with parents. I have only a couple myself, when I was little, and then on my wedding day. Not many. It makes me realize that I need to get into the photos I take of my own children so they don't have the same issue when they're older.

Hugs to you,
MTF

So sorry Echoes. I have those pictures but I'm not smiling in any of them and look depressed.

Some people just don't like to take pictures or be in them. I guess I would wonder if there are pictures of your parents with other siblings?

Hugs
TN

So sorry, Echo. That is sad and I feel really bad for you.



MTF

(((Echoes))) That is so sad. I'm sorry.

Reading this also motivates me to get in more pictures with my kid. I am one of those people who hates to be photographed, but going through the pictures I have of my daughter recently I was dismayed to see just how seldom I appeared. I think I'll be more mindful of this in future.

(((Echoes))) I'm sorry.

I have seen two of me with my mom (one with my older sisters in it too) when I was very little in which she looks either extremely depressed or scary/angry. I have none with my dad (who hates photos being taken). I have a few from adulthood at significant events (i.e. my wedding, various holiday things or Summer trips where large group photos were taken). However, one of my siblings or I don't demand to get photos with our mom (or I don't do so with my dad), I would most likely have none of those at all. I'm sad to say that I'm not in nearly as many photos with Boo as I should be, since I am always the one taking the photos. Also, H tends to make me look horrible. I used to take them of the two of us myself, but it's harder to do with a squirmy three-year-old than it was with an infant...

I'm sorry. I also know what it's like to go through albums and see my mom in photos with my younger siblings, looking happy, and even having more photos with the older siblings. I'm not sure exactly why the lack of connection with me (or evidence of it at least) before I started hating photos in my teens. I wonder if I was exceptionally different as a child in some way. The worst part was having to paw through ten albums to even find a handful of photos of me (most I know were my grandma's duplicates)...but there is at least an album worth of my mom with her groupies (she is a pianist/singer) at work during my childhood. Yuck.

Hi ECHO

There must be one somewhere. Maybe one of your siblings has one?

I only have seen group pictures, Like the whole family maybe even with some relatives before an event. And then some from my wedding. I'm so bad myself though that if my mother didn't take pictures of my kids over the years, I wouldn't have any picture of anything. I don't think I'm terribly sentimental. I'm not big into anniversaries either. Maybe I am missing some kind if empathy chip?

So my mother was a better photographer when she was a grandma.

Xoxo

Liese

Aw, echos...I am so sorry...how hurtful, how painful. I also do not own any pictures of myself with my parents, although, I at least have an image of one or two I have seen from when I was older. I wish I had some memories to keep in an album, to refer back to, but all I have somewhere, is a 1st grade school photo.

(((((echos))))) you are not invisible- you are a lovely shining star. I'm thinking I have to get better at the photo thing, too, because I absolutely hate having my picture taken, and avoid it at all costs. I have tons of pictures of my H with my kids, but very few of myself. I was even on TV last week, and I never watched the news because I couldn't bear to see it.

((((((Echos)))))

BB

Dear Echoes,

Oh I am so sorry about your lack of photos

They are symbolic in so many ways of times past and moments shared, as well acting as a reminder. Maybe dear echoes seeing any might cause you hurt now, BUT that does not negate any of your feelings now. I am so sad for you that you do not have any of these picture memories, that must feel hard and bring up so many questions for you.

Know though that you are a great mum and your children will never exoerience what you have.

Hugs to you,

starfishy

((((((echo)))))) I have one of me sitting on my mums lap when I was about 5. I hate looking at it coz we both look really happy (it was pre-abuse) and then my aunt posted a picture on facebook, think I was about 10 and I look the saddest child in the world I do have a photo of me and my mum on my wedding day

Lucina

Sorry Echo that you have no photos of you with your parents. Did they not even come to your wedding? That is so sad.

LL

quote:

am I the only one not to have a photo of me with either one of my parents, ever?

No, you are not the only one. I've never seen one of me with either of my parents.

And of the pictures of me alone-there is only one that shows me smiling. Just one. I've been thinking about this frequently since therapy. I wanted to add a picture of me as a baby or child to a card I had made him...and wondered how I could get the lone one picture from my mom. I never did. Instead, i had put a picture of a sad monkey on the card. I have told him many times I always felt like the monkey with the wire mother from the attachment experiments of the 1950s

((((Echoes))))))

This is really, really triggering, but if you are interested in learning about the Harlow experiments:

The Nature of Love

Harry Harlow

Maybe you feel like the monkey with the wire mother, too??

I'm sorry, too, Echoes. That is incredibly sad.

I think there are a few pictures of me and my dad. There's a few of me and my grandparents (my mom's parents) where I look happy. Definitely none of me and my mom. And I totally relate to the feeling of having the wire monkey mom.

There are some pictures of me with my girls. The reason there aren't more is because I'm usually the one taking the picture. This makes me want to be more vigilant about using the timer function once in a while.

I'm so sorry, Echoes.

Hugs,
SG

((((Echoes))))

(((Echoes)))