Hello E.
I am glad you are here. I am a Lesbian as well. We are human beings and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I know it can be hard sometimes, but Be proud of who you are. I to went through a terrible breakup that and childhood issues is why I began counseling. My T and I just recently had a bump in the road but we worked it out. My transference issues were a little different than yours. I am in college and I am going to be a forensic psychologist. I started to see my T as more of a mentor than a counselor. It took a lot of courage to tell her. I was afraid to go in because of the bump in the road we had just had. When I went in anyway, she told me she admired my courage and it went from there. My T let me know it was okay for me to tell her anything or anything I was feeling. It was like a fifty pound weight had been taken off my shoulders. My point is, it took a lot of courage for you to tell your T what you were feeling. Hang in there and do not bee afraid to talk to her and tell her what you are feeling. You have a lot of courage. I am sure your T will be able to help you. I can not say I know what you are feeling, but I empathize. A break up is awful and it hurts emotionally and physically. However, with time it does get better. I am available if you need anyone to talk to. Welcome and hang in there.

Thank you Robin, Russ, SB and Tina! No word yet from my T. I appreciate the words of encouragement and wisdom from your past experiences. I'm looking forward to using this site as a tool to my "healing". I have alot of shit to deal with from my childhood. I thought I had dealt with all this years ago but low and behold... I still can't handle relationships to the extent that I would like, nor can I get a handle on abusing alcohol. Anyway, I hope you all had a good day.

E

First of all, welcome E! I'm glad you found this site and I hope it helps you. I'm sorry your feeling lonely and I hope that your T will respond soon. You have a lot going on, but telling your T was a smart move! Let us know how it goes.

Catgirl- I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely. I hope today was a better day. When I get lonely, I write. And cry. And sleep. I don't know if sleeping is healthy, but in the moment, it sounds GREAT! I also try to get out- go to a store and walk around. I don't get lonely very often though, moreso depressed and isolated.

Anywho, I hope you are feeling a little better today. Coming here when you are lonely is good too!

-CT

Welcome, E! I'm new here, too.

Sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now! I hope you hear from your T soon! I hope today was better than yesterday.


CT-
I am much better today! Thank you!

I got to see my therapist. I love seeing her. But, she's going away for 2 weeks. She gave me a little letter to read each day that she would have seen me. That was really kind of her. She also said she'd call me tomorrow after seeing her last client. She said that I'll be the last client she talks to before she leaves. I'm doing okay with all of it right now. We'll see how it goes over the next couple of weeks. I'm gonna try to give all of this therapy stuff a break, and sort of take a vacation from it myself.

Thanks for the ideas. I love to sleep when I feel lonely or sad, too. It might not be the best thing to do, but it makes time pass. Also, our bodies heal when we sleep, and maybe we need it.

catgirl

I miss my therapist. She's out of town for two weeks.

I usually see her on Mon and Wed, and she calls me on Fridays. So, it's so hard to not have any contact with her.

She gave me 6 short letters for when she's gone, one for each day that I usually have contact with her. I have been strictly instructed to open them on the day that I usually talk with her. So, I opened one on Wed., and I get to open one tomorrow, Yay! I'm counting time based on these cards. 1 down, 5 to go!

I'm still having strong feelings of anxiety when I think about the fact that she's gone. My chest squeezes and I feel like I can't breathe. Then, I try to say, "Okay, all I have to do is _____ right now." and I try to be in the moment. It doesn't always work, but it sometimes does.

I JUST MISS HER!