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This message has been edited. Last edited by: deffe,

I think it's so amazing that you are doing this. To share something we've created is quite vulnerable. My one year does not come around until late August or early September...and I don't even remember when. I most certainly would like to mark the anniversary. Being able to risk ourselves in this way, to take a step closer, rather than wait for T to approach and then run away, is a sign of the healing that is happening. ((((((DF))))))

I think its wonderful that you are going to be giving her the painting you made. I also think the painting is really beautiful. I can't wait to hear how she receives the gift. I can imagine how vulnerable it is to not only be giving T a gift, but to be giving her something you made. Its so personal....very scary indeed! I'm proud of you though. I think it will be very well-receieved.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, Deepfried! I just want to validate you in this. Such a good and healthy thing to give her this card. I agree that this could be a powerful thing in your relationship with her.

The fact that it's not perfect is part of what makes it the perfect thing. We're all in progress, and none of us will ever arrive at perfection.

And yet you're muddling through this and reaching out ...

Let us know how it goes!

DF,

Yes!! I think it is great and such a sign of progress that you want to give this to her. I'm sure she will love it.

Do you remember how much I struggled with bringing my T the cookies that I made because every time I made them they weren't perfect? This reminds me of my struggle with that. I'm sure your T will love the painting card and be very touched that you wanted to give it to her and acknowledge the anniversary.

This also reminds me that my 2 year anniversary with T is Friday the 15th. I am not sure if I will do or say anything which is odd, but okay either way.

DF ~ oh that sounds wonderful! it is vulnerable, and super sweet. Perfect thing for a T. I think it's great to do. Yay DF!!!
~ jd

p.s. my yr anniversary is this week too!

DF,

I think it is fine to do whatever you feel comfortable with. There are no rules that you have to follow here and if showing it to her feels okay to do then do that! I hope that you have a good experience with that and can process what came up as you painted it.

Why might I not do anything this year? Well, I'm not entirely sure what that is about. Typically I would, but I guess at least part of me is still feeling apprehensive about the relationship with T. I hate to even type that out as it makes me cringe, but there is something there. Also, it seems like nearly every time I allow myself to feel that vulnerable and really express to T how I feel about her and the help she has given that it causes some sort of reaction inside and then we push her away soon after. So, since things are already a bit tenuous lately, I think I might just acknowledge it verbally and move on.

DF ~ I think you are handling this well. A big part of therapy is knowing how much we can do, and when to switch gears. I think you are still doing something wonderful just to even acknowledge with your T that it has been a year. It is very appropriate. All of it is.

I'll see my T later in the week, and I hope to say or do something about the 1 year mark. I wrote something about the therapy, and I might give it to her. I also have this silly rock that I took with me around the world that I have been meaning to give to her - and I think I might give her that. All of it is simple and small, but feels huge. It's odd because from the outside, it seems totally ok, but in the middle of this, it feel so big and risky and vulnerable. I'm not sure why it is that way for me.

~jd

((((STRM))))

DF - Even showing her the print is still an amazing gesture of trust and vulnerability. If I were your T, I would want a copy. I know it is so hard to be vulnerable. What time is you appointment (in Pacific time)? I'll be thinking of you!!! ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

DF,
I saw your post before you deleted it and I think it's a wonderful idea to just share the picture with your T and tell her how you're feeling. I think it would have been totally appropriate to give it to her but it's wonderful that you are able to be aware of how vulnerable you're feeling and choose to still make yourself vulnerable but not take such a big step that it will overwhelm you. That is growth in both intimacy and self-care. I think your T will love to see it.

I do want to encourage you that when I gave my T the cross stitch I designed and made for him, I was really scared, I wasn't completely sure he would accept it. It turned out to one of the best sessions I ever had with him. And I LOVE and take great comfort in the fact that it still hangs on his wall next to his desk.

Let us know how it goes!!

AG

DF, I totally get you on this. It's like, sort of counter-intuitive that giving a gift or showing gratitude makes one vulnerable, but it freaks me out. I have been wanting to show my T stuff he set for homework and don't feel like I can do that - it doesn't feel 'welcome', even though he set it. Now I know why people say 'you're welcome' in response to 'thank you'.

quote:

Originally posted by deepfried:
Dammit. I'm always at the top of page 2!

the cream always rises to the top!

DF =- sorry I missed your post. I think showing her the picture is almost as great as giving it to her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it and cherish it.

it's ok to wait df - I just want to say that, and tell you it's not a failure, just incase that is crossing your mind. I find it very personal to share art work with my T. Sometimes I do, and it's great, and other times, it's just too tough. I have waited to show her art and it still meant just as much... I hope you do share it with her, when you are ready. It's ok to not be ready and it's ok to take the risk to show her too. I bet she knows her work with you means a lot to you.