Thanks, AG...I read those when I first came here, but forgot most of them. It is good to see them again. I didn't realize that sexual content was prohibited, that being said, I mentioned it in a couple of posts but it was not intended in any way to trigger sexual feelings. I doubt anybody posting about the topic would be getting into it, if you know what I mean. Would be more talking about it in general terms, I would think?

I too have problems in this area and it stinks. It would be nice to get some input here and there, yet, I think my views on the matter probably significantly differ from the majority of people since I am rather strict practitioner of my particular religion...that being said, I do not think it is "shameful" to discuss sex. Even though it feels that way, it is not. I think it's a great idea for anybody who really wants to discuss the topic to contact shrinklady and ask...the Rules of the House actually already say that you can do that! It would probably be great for the forum for somebody to check in with her at this point anyway, let her know what's up since things are getting a little bit...er...complicated around here all the way around.... who will be the brave one? (BB dives into her nest and buries her head under her wing.... )

BB

I was also wondering who would be brave enough to email her. I could do it if no one else will. But I don’t want her to block me if I say the wrong thing!!

guys and gals, i will be big and bold right now, as i am in a 'i don't care what anyone thinks' mood.

but, dang it, if we are all so tippy-toeing around here afraid to do anything, then what is the purpose.

post 'trigger warnings' and LET IT RIP, no one is intentially mean to another, and if so, i think some of the pm'ing could maybe be public, and we could all learn and practice some of this stuff.

if this is going to have to be a super politically correct, egg-shell kind of environment, all i can say is YAWN!!!

c'mon, on the outside we are all adults, we all have damage on the inside, but, trigger warnings, or 'venting' warnings, sexual warnings, all that stuff should 'protect the innocent' and then i say, let it rip!! get 'it' out, and let's heal instead of running around the hamster wheel wondering about all our phrasing and stuff!!

let's look at INTENT when we feel harm, as i think any stepping on toes is accidental, and the little bit that isn't (altho i don't think i have EVER seen that here) is 'just life'. let's practice being assertive (which is not aggressive or hostile) and deal with these issues in a respectful way and , as smiley said, extend grace.

ok? i had a two hour session and am a bit fried, but wouldn't be so bold were i not on my last leg of the day!! i mean everything kindly, and am not trying to rub anyone's face in anything, i just want things back to NORMAL around here....our own kind of 'messed up' normal!! xxoo, love you all! y'all are all good people, everyONE of you!!! jill

Jill:

I so agree with your comment regarding a politically correct egg shell kinda environment...yes indeed....double yawn!!

I don't think posting about sex would be inapropriate around here. We can have a discussion about sexual feelings here and could be interesting and helpful and respectful. Rules of The House do not prohibit that.
As for what may be triggering some unpleasanant feelings, memories etc., it is really difficult to assess. I think as long as we are respectful to each other, we should not really be blaming each other for any unintentional hurts.
Probably the best way to discuss these between the parties is private messaging. If the dispute is being carried out openly and more people get involved it is getting only more messy.

Anyway, I would be glad to read about others experiences with dealing with sexual feelings in therapy. That would be very insightful, since I am quite useless at this

Hi Everyone, I guess I'll have to do some work on clarifying my remarks about discussions on sexual content. I can certainly understand the need to bring this topic to the forum and I am pleased the way the discussion has gone over the concerns around posting on the subject.

I like the idea of posting a warning at the beginning of the thread. There's one other option...

I believe the Live Cloud software allows for having an area password protected. Anyone can be a member of that separate area, it's just that you optin into it.

What does everyone think about that?

Shrinklady

Woohoo! Clarity on those rules and/or a password protected place would be lovely. Thanks Shrinklady! And thanks, DF, for bravely asking!

DF, and everyone else.... I believe all the activation flying around at the moment will settle down soon. Especially if we take breaths, as you say, Draggers, and take care of ourselves.

None of us can do too much about what other people say, do, post and so on. But we can look after ourselves and go slow and take it easy for this one person. Find the energy inside ourselves that we would like to bring to the boards.

We are all good people, and we give each other lots of support and care and thought. Sometimes stuff gets activated and wires get crossed, but things will settle and our basic care for ourselves and each other will keep shining through, I reckon. That's what has brought each of us to these boards.

Big gentle hugs all round. Everything's going to be fine.

love,
Jones

Bravo DF for asking the question, and thanks Shrinklady for your answer . Shrinklady, I am glad that you can see why it might be important - certainly from a SA point of view, every sinlgle book on the subject, self-help or otherwise, seemingly has a chapter or seection devoted to such problems...because there is a need. But for me, it is the manner in which such material is written that makes it ok to read; likewise here, I know there has been a lot of recent upset on this forum, but underneath there is so much goodwill and good intention and people are generally very careful not to be triggering in their posts. I think with that knowledge in mind, a discussion on such a topic would be treated with care and respect.

Only my opinion of course

starfish

Ok - I feel compelled to say "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Sorry..... I just had to get that out. I don't mean to offend anyone here but wow are we all going crazy here? We all know that this is a place where alot of emotions are raw and really out there. We also all know that when things are this close to the surface it could trigger alot of reactions. So, we must try to just understand what other people are saying and just leave it at that. There are so many caring people here on this site than I think I've met in my life. Come on folks, let's just have a group hug and get on with caring about each other. No one wants to hurt anyone and we all know that.

Ok, sorry for venting. It just upsets me all this upheaval. That being said, the sexual posting. Ok, so I'm a prude. I absolutely hate talking about sex. I am totally embarrassed and shy about the whole thing. However, I too have alot of issues in this area and it would probably be very helpful for me to hear from other people about their experiences. I know I'm not alone on this but I'll probably pass out from talking about it! LOL Anyway, I'm game and willing to try.

quote:

Originally posted by smiley: There are so many caring people here on this site than I think I've met in my life. Come on folks, let's just have a group hug and get on with caring about each other.

I'm in!!! Thanks too Jones for the reminder that everything is going to be fine. So true!!!

Woo hoo!! Go dragonfly! And thank you to Shrinklady for the answer!

And smiley- it’s good that we are discussing it here first instead of just jumping right into sex talk so we can hear people’s opinions. I definetly don’t think your alone with wanting to pass out from talking about it!!

I'm a prude too, Smiley! But I think it would be good to talk about. I was very scared about explicit content, though...not because I think it shouldn't be, but I would just want to know beforehand if the post or thread contained anything explicit. I like the idea of a password protected area because people might feel more free to discuss whatever...and I hate the idea because it feels like a closed door or that it is somehow shameful and dirty to have these problems. So, a bit confusing for me...

Just my thoughts...I hope others will make the final decision.

Draggers----you totally rock! Good for you for being "the brave one!"

(((((((((((Psyche Cafe fellow campers and those who have built homes)))))))))))))

BB

No, Draggers, you DO totally rock!!!

Thanks Shrinklady. I think a password protected area would be great. Otherwise, thread titles with heavy trigger warnings that are clear that the discussion is about sex.

I have major issues in this area and it is a direct result of what happened to me and I'd love to get input on ways to help the situation.

Jones: Thanks for your post as well. I completely agree with you.

Draggers- yup, you rock. And as for more permanent sleeping quarters? Well, right now Starfish, LL, and I are sharing a cabin...but SG and I are currently in sleeping bags outside of Jones' door...so you are most welcome to sleep on the pullout I've been using! I know that LL and Starfish won't mind. There might be a couple others in there, but just tell them to bugger off, BB already said you could have her bed until Jones comes back, ok? then if you want you can start building your own cabin...hopefully next door to mine!

Love,

BB