Ha....you're funny. I bet ya she would like some of your baking, especially if it was just some of it...you know, you gave to other people and ate some yourself!....and only once in a while.. P's and T's, I've learned like to eat Yeah, I was into a baking thing a few years ago. There is a client at work who makes pies and just shows up with one once in a while....staff are almost asking to be assigned to her!

I have given previous T's baking and other things...but nothing to the new P. I am VERY conscious of boundaries. I think she would probably accept something inexpensive or something handmade but it would be too uncomfortable for me to try it and I'm not into it right now.

OKAY SO HOW DO YOU DO the accessing personal information??? Are you secretly working for the RCMP?



I really appreciate my P seeing me more x per week rather than giving me meds. The med question kinda came up but she did not push it...I was the one who mentioned them and she just looked but didn't open her mouth. She's smart and is being careful...pushing pills would wreck my trust in her.

(I don't know how to do the P.M. thing)

Gee Karie,

You don't know how to PM and you don't know how to Quote! I think you need some private lessons

To PM you click on "GO" in the toolbar at the top left of the forum posts. Then you scroll down to Private Messaging and give it a lil click Then when the PM window opens you can click "New Pvt Message" Then another window opens and you then click "Find New Buddies". When that window opens you can type in the name of the person you want to send a note to and WHAALAA a PM! ORRR you can just do it the easy way and left click on someones name in the Forum (like a post in a topic) and select "Invite ?????? to a private topic" and that will work.

To quote .... follow previous instructions to CatGirl I'm too lazy to type em again !!!

quote:

OKAY SO HOW DO YOU DO the accessing personal information???

Well I'm a Cesis agent actually .. But now I'm going to have to kill you! Damn I hate it when people ask when I say not to ask LMAO, it's always so messy !! No, in my 20's/30's I worked for a private investigating firm and learned a trick or two there Funny what you can learn about a person on the internet And if you know an RCMP officer or a cop that would help too I guess It would make the search easier and faster!! LOL

quote:

I really appreciate my P seeing me more x per week rather than giving me meds

I know! When I came off of the Effexor I felt some of my symptoms coming back. So when I asked if there was something else my P could suggest to my GP, she said she'd rather I not take anything else because I just started being able to 'feel' some things and she didn't want me to mask it again. So I asked about a second session so that I didn't get so anxious between them and go crazy(ier), and she said yes, without hesitation. It helps and I'm glad that I'm not on more drugs

On that note, I think I'll go light a fire in the yard and chill with a book for awhile.

I'll talk to you later!

Isn't that cool that she responded to you asking for a second session without hesitation? She takes you seriously Holly. I think I like her a little better....maybe.

Guess I'd have to do some warming up to really like her though. Don't know exactly why I feel this way, just the pain in your posts I guess. And I think it's positive she agrees meds mask feelings. Not that I need an opinion on her anyway....whatever!

Did making a fire and chilling with a book help last night? I have a fire pit thingy but haven't used it yet this spring/summer. How are you today?

HI Karie

I think once in awhile the P kinda likes me .. maybe I caught her on a vulnerable day and that's why she okay'd a 2nd session Maybe when she gets back I'll tell her I was so distraught while she was gone I'll need 3 or 4 for a few weeks to get me back on track! LOL

Hmm, I guess that when I have a bad day with her I can really make her sound like a 'you know what'. I think that's really sweet that you pick up on how upset I am with her sometimes, and can hold it against her ... I'll have to write more good things as they come up .. our last 2 sessions were really good, and hopefully I'm able to continue putting myself out there when she gets back. But knowing me, I'll be all shy and nervous again until I get used to talking to her again .. so another 11 months of hell so she could have an 11 day holiday! LOL, I'm so selfish and needy! The woman tells me that I have to be able to trust her and depend on her and when I finally get there she buggers off. Rude, rude, rude! Oh well... Just 8 more sleeps to go

Well I did make a fire and chilled (literally) with my dogs, but I didn't bother with a book .. I grabbed a bag of spitz and a beer instead and talked to myself, until my partner came out and joined me

I had a good day, we went to visit a friend and her husband who just had a baby a week ago, so it was nice. You know you have some issues when you don't want to hold a new baby! I've worked with families with babies and children for years and didn't have a problem holding them. But friends and family with kids .. I never hug them (always a high five instead, or a pat on the head) or kiss them, and I never hold them. Strange huh! I seldom hug adult friends or family either .. except my mother-in-law because she makes me! LOL

Sorry, I went off track there. My day was gouda!! I'm looking forward to getting the week underway - back to the gym tomorrow, partner leaves Thursday am, and brother goes to respite Friday am. I hope the week goes fast and the weekend drags on and on and on!!! Mike is home Sunday evening and my partner is home the following Wed. I LOVE IT !!!!! hehehe

So how are things going with you and how has your weekend been?

Hi,

(Holly ....how are you???)

I'm living in my mom's basement right now

I asked my dad yesterday if it's just me??? do I have something nasty written on my forehead that tells the world I'm a screwup and to do something anything! to help make things go sour for me. Ahhhh tonight I'm feeling sorry for me.

It did not work out sharing the house with that former client of my former therapist. Yeah, I should know that boundary mix ups never work out right. I am learning all that the hard way these days. So some of my stuff is still at that girls house and some is here in the basement with me. My parents are being very supportive but others are not saying such nice things. Tonight my nieces were kidding me saying I could live on a board with cardboard over me outside......
When I left Chatham my old boss said...."Karen, you are a disaster waiting to happen."
I am feeling pretty bad tonight. Don't know why my life has gone to hell in a handbasket...ever since that client of mine suicided life has been nightmarish. My new job (an hour and a half away starts on Monday.) I am still tied to a lease I signed a few weeks ago in Chatham....
I was not created to live life as an adult

IT IS HARD TO SAY

Hey Hummingbird, thanks for your suggestions! How are you?

Yes, I've been doing some thinking about how to get out of the lease. I emailed and called the landlady. She is also a real estate agent. She refuses to budge and allow me to break the lease...She has $1125.00 of mine and I never even got the key or moved any stuff into the place.
However, I have been putting ads on the internet and sent an ad to my former workplace and a friend in that town to pass around ....I hope someone decides to rent it soon. (Your suggestion of a nervous breakdown has crossed my mind a few times....)

But I know these are just challenges and are not insurmountable. I also think I've had enough for now, you know, ENOUGH ALREADY! And I think I've learned that the adult me can help me survive.

This morning things look brighter. I may be able to move into an apartment close to my new job this wknd or next week and I am working on making those arrangements. I hope to learn what I'm supposed to from what has happened to me since Feb of this year...because I believe that all things happen for a reason.

My P has been really supportive but ahhh.....she is on a week of holidays again. I have an appt booked for after work next Tues.

Karen

Hi, Itshardtosay,

I am so glad that things look a little brighter this morning.

Will this landlady give you you deposit back afte you find someone else to lease the apt. Just a fleeting thought, if you have a friend who is a lawyer who can look at the lease and see if there are any clauses for ways to break it. . .again, just a thought. Don't know where you live, but here, there are even services that will broker apts. and might be able to help.

I am glad you have an appt. scheduled with your P already after she gets back. Soemtimes vacations come at exactly the wrong time, don't they. (Ok, for me, it seems that anytime my T goes on vacation, it feels like the wrong time. . .I hate when she is away!).

I really hope the new apt works out, and am so sorry about the not nice things others were saying. You have had enough to deal with!

Keep up the great work at looking at all of your solutions! Use the brighter start to keep moving forward.

WhereamI

Hi WhereamI.......I've been trying to reply but the computer won't post the message.....maybe it will this time..

I like your name!

I've been trying to get out of my lease...or rent the place.

Tomorrow I move into my new apt and I am so glad. Monday my new job starts.. I will be working as a case manager on wknds but not in mental health. I need a break from that while I work on my degrees.
Here goes....I'll see if this will post.

Itshardtosay. ... more later.

Hi Itshardtosay,

Your post went through! Glad it went through! I have been having some technical problems today too! It is exciting that you get to move into your apt. tomorrow. Hope the move goes well. Nice metaphor, moving on Independence Day and all! What's your new job?

So glad things are heading in a better direction

Hi......

I'm sitting in an internet cafe because I don't have phone or internet service installed yet.

I had so much trouble over the past few months making this job and living change! To complete my chaos, the mover didn't show up on Saturday!! It was awful. My brothers friend and his son moved my stuff early Sunday am instead. I am still claiming it as my independence day though. Whew.... but i really like my new place and I'm so excited to be at my new job and starting school in Sept. I had a really good first day at work. Sometimes it seems that everything tries to block what you need to do....

My job is in access in a huge community health agency ....I will assess and connect people with health services they need. It is not mental health but the skills I learned in working with people in mental health will help with this job. It is good pay and if I like it I can go full time. I'd rather do a masters related to trauma/attachment injury in mental health. There is a MSN in mental health I'd like to do through Charles Sturt university in Australia...it's expensive but if I could get through this last 6 months I could probably do anything!

I am also glad for this site. It's nice to have internet friends who understand and are working on their own stuff. Thanks for this opportunity....

Itshardtosay

Hi Karie... I just want to pop in here and say I think you are doing remarkably well and I wish you all the best in your new job and in your new apartment. I'm so glad things are working out for you. Stay strong.

I, too, am interested in attachment and childhood trauma which I think interweaves with developmental psychology. I have a long way to go though. Good luck with school.

TN

Hi Karie,

Congrats on making the move and starting your job. That has to feel like such huge steps! You are showing amazing resilience, despite stuff getting in your way. It sounds like a lot of great new beginnings for you! Glad that work went well today.

WhereamI

Thank you all for your good wishes! That is very kind. Today is the end of the first 2 weeks of the new job. How fortunate I am! I can hardly believe it....this is what the healing process brings to us I guess if we don't give up or succumb or ...whatever. I am delighted.

It has been a hard go, I have to admit. I don't miss the old job one bit. I am learning so much at the new place, it is a huge learning curve. We are being orientated for 5 weeks and then I am sure I won't really know much of what I'm supposed to be doing. This experience is boosting my self confidence in my ability to live as an adult. Getting through the last 5 months did take a lot of energy and strength ...but i got a lot of support for which i am very grateful.

I finally have a phone and internet service. Tomorrow my TV service will be connected. LIfe I beginning to resemble 'normal'. I am so pleased to have this new job. I finally have an opportunity to work with seasoned nurses....lots of them, so it should be an interesting and learning time.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I haven't read many other posts but am glad to be back.

Karie.

Hi HB.....

I bet your assumption is right on for most people, obviously is for me anyway. Thanks for your reply. Hope you're doing well?

I'm glad, real glad to be settling in here. My mom and dad came to visit today. They are frail...my dad nearly died last year, had heart surgery then a stroke. I guess I don't need to say he is not the same. Attachment stuff and my love for them is tugging at me tonight. Ahh....somedays I wish I didn't have feelings.