Hi all,
If any of you have been reading my posts, they've been somewhat all over the place. My apologies. For those who can make sense of them, or find them actually readable to the point of making connections then I have to bring something up to all of you.

I was put in a hospital for "rest" so they could monitor my medication since I was fully gone/out of it for more than 2 weeks (my two P's kept increasing the Abilify which was what caused the zombie to come out).

It was horrid. Being hospitalized, and getting off Abilify. I'm a bit saddened because I heard so many good things about it and I guess my brain chemistry sucks! :P It made me extremely restless/ crawling out of my skin-y. It was tough. It was like I had made myself 10000 pots of coffee or been locked in a dark closet with extreme extreme cabin fever.

I am now on 12.5mg of Zyprexa. That is my only med. Anyone had good experiences on that??????

Anyway. While in the hospital, I met with the P assigned to me and I asked him, "I can check myself out of here, right?" and he said "yes, but it would be going against your doctors' wishes!"

I signed out. I had it. I really did. I hope there is at least 1 person on here who feels the same way about being hospitalized. Control was taken away. The patients were nice though, I formed a lot of nice bonds. It reminded me of this forum!

One week later I receive an envelop that is from my main P's offices. It is saying I can no longer be in their care because I didn't stay the full length of time as they had wanted me to. It said I am not supposed to go near the building which they work. But then I get a call saying that I've got an appointment with my P (who "abandoned me) for tomorrow. I call to check the mix-up and sure enough, I still have to go see my main P.

Do you all believe this is the last time? Sort of like a closure. In the letter I recieved it said I still need immediate help so maybe they'll even refer me to someone else. I don't know what to expect for tomorrow but I know it won't be pretty. I mean, one of my P's was on the telephone with me at the hospital YELLING that I stay. It's hard.

------------

Aside from that story, I have another thing I need feedback on.

It's been happening a lot. When I am doing whatever during my day, various familiar voices or random made up voices will ask me questions--any and I'll respond aloud. Is this a side effect of Zyprexa? Since I am now on 12.5mg of that, and only that. No other... anymore. I haven't had the voices beforehand. That is why I ask.

Thank you, this was sort of a jam-packed post but I feel better having pulled it out of my brain for a little while...

p.s. I scheduled an appointment with ex-hot therapist...my bad. I SEE HIM THURSDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Yes I know, stupid me. But, he was helping.
K

I did leave a psych hospital AMA (against medical advice) once. There are a few things I can't stand about being hospitalized, the top item being that I don't get to go outside because I don't smoke ... but that's another story In my case, my P didn't think I should be in there in the first place, so after I left AMA, his main reaction was to schedule an appointment to see me as soon as possible.

In your case, it strikes me that your P felt like it was really important that you were in a safe place for a little while. While I hate hospitals, they are safe. When medications don't mix with you, it can be pretty awful.

From what I've read, what you describe with the Abilify is a common problem. Of the anti-psychotics, it tends to be the worst with those side effects. When I took Abilify, I got so restless, I couldn't sit down, or pace, or run, or anything to feel better. I go so angry, I yelled, I threw things. There are plenty of other ones to try, don't feel too badly that Abilify doesn't work for you.

Hey Z,
I hear you on the smoking part. I wanted to go outside, mainly because the place is located up up and away in very beautiful grassy bluffs... but nooooo. Creepy on the outside at night, though.

So then, your P still saw you after your own AMA incident? I'm sorry, I didn't read it so clear. He saw you, are you still seeing him? I don't know what it is that irked my two P's that they are calling off my "contract" with them. We'll see tomorrow aye?

I had the same with Abilify. I am happy to be off it. I can't really say with this Zyprexa yet. Lexapro was OK, nothing too harsh in regards to side effects.

K

Yeah, I continued seeing my P after that up until he retired. It actually spurred us to start therapy because he didn't know me too well at that point, and it was pretty clear I needed more then just drugs.

Good luck with your appointment, I hope you can get things sorted out ok.