Hello again everybody. This post may get a little personal, which, by no means would I want you to divulge or exploit yourself so personally, but I am going to put my question out there because I am so incredibly confused, and new at all of this mental health action.

The last post I made on here was in regards to an anti-psychotic medication I was put on for "sleep". I was NOT told that it was usually dealt out to those with bipolar or schizophrenia (I've read it is a common drug for both of these diagnoses). Unfortunately, this drug caused many hallucinations, many disturbing conscious and unconscious nightmares. The worst from this drug that I experienced is that I tried to end my life more than 5 times. I had only taken the pill ONCE! I have not been suicidal before taking this pill, I have only had extensive suicidal thoughts and day dreams to get through the days. The Seroquel XR was only given to me at 50mg.

Now I am faced with confessing to my psychologist (I have an appointment with her tomorrow at 5pm) that I've had these sucidial attemps. The problem with her questioning of the suicidal events is that I can't even remember trying to suffocate myself or wrist bang so hard that I would start bleeding (the other attempts are far more gruesome and I won't be sharing those).

Of course I want to be 100% open with my P because well, it'd be a waste of therapy now, wouldn't it? So, my questions here are:

1. Is it acceptable to "bring" my boyfriend into the session with me? Would I need to have it approved before the session itself? He was the one who witnessed my attempts. I would be horrible at explaining them because I experience a lot of time loss. When I dissociate I have absolutely no idea what happened, what I did, how I conducted myself.

2. Is there any action taken when you admit your recent attempts at suicide to your psychologist? Such as being "committed"? Or does your P take everything into her own hands? Sadly, if it is just the Seroquel XR, I can see them canceling that... but sadly, I do have lingering suicidal thoughts that I don't trust myself when I am alone.

3. If you are currently employed, does the psychologist or the psychiatrist contact your place of work to make sure you are taking a leave? I am not sure how it all works out. I'm not sure if the psychologist/psychiatrist just take matters into their own hands without sending you to some hospital.

This is where I stand. What would be the course taken here? Should I admit to her my attempts? Or should I let it go as "Oh, it was just a Seroquel XR issue!" ???

Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear you had such trouble

The short answer to your questions is: "Yes, tell your P"

1) It's probably ok to bring your BF, but you may ask your P before going into her office if it's ok if he comes in with you. In all likelihood, she will want to hear what happened from you yourself regardless.

2) Your P can have you involuntarily hospitalized if they believe that you are currently a risk to yourself or others. She may ask you to be voluntarily hospitalized. Her job will be to determine whether or not you are still a risk to yourself and do what she feels is the best course of action. In my case, my doctors have been extremely reluctant to hospitalize me because hospitalization itself can be stressful, disruptive, and generally really unpleasant. It's a last resort.

3) Your P CANNOT tell your place of work that you are hospitalized. Confidentially is so important. If you do wind up in a hospital, and someone calls to leave you a message, they won't even acknowledge to that person that you are at the hospital, they will say "IF that person is here, they will receive that message."

I hope that helps. My advice is to be as open and honest as possible with your P.

Hi Caeti723,
Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it has to be confusing and scary beyond belief. I'm really glad you had the courage to post about it.

I really think that you should tell your P about the suicide attempts. It's really important that the people who care for you and are caring for you know what's going on. I have struggled on and off with suicidal ideation although I've never attempted to kill myself. But talking to someone about wanting to, or attempting it, is the first step in preventing it actually happening.

As far as having you committed, I know in NY State you can only be hospitalized against your will for 72 hours and ONLY if a professional assessment determines that you are an immediate danger to yourself or someone else. Most Ps will not committ you against your will unless they really feel it's the only choice. They are deeply aware of what an adverse affect the action can have on the trust between you. But the really important thing here, the bottom line, is that you live. And if takes hospitalization to ensure that, then it's a good move. But the fact that you're willing to be open makes you much less of a danger to yourself.

I would bring your boyfriend to the session. My husband and I have both gone to each other's sessions (before we were seeing the same T) and usually without letting our T know first. If you're really nervous about it, leave a phone message that's he coming. But I think the fact that he has information that you don't due to dissassociating makes him an incredible resource for both your P and you. He sounds like a good guy that he's willing to do this.

Last but not least, under NY Hippa laws (patient privacy laws) your doctor can't inform anyone of anything, except people you authorize, such as your insurance company, or other professionals because your care demands it (such as forced hospitalization). Under no circumstances could they relay any information to your place of employment without your express permission.

I hope this info helps. Please let us know how it goes, and please take care of yourself.

AG

quote:

Originally posted by Caeti723:

The last post I made on here was in regards to an anti-psychotic medication I was put on for "sleep". I was NOT told that it was usually dealt out to those with bipolar or schizophrenia (I've read it is a common drug for both of these diagnoses)

I know this drug is considered an anti-psychotic but none of these drugs are really diagnosis specific, they can be used for many reasons. I take it to help me fall asleep. I don't like it...it does make me hungover and groggy in the morning. I have no idea how anyone can actually function while taking it. I take 50mg or less and chew it up. I am usually asleep within 30 minutes. I don't know how taking it once could be causing the difficulties you are describing. I think it may have triggered something deeper for you.
You really NEED to tell your T about this...and what is happening with you.

quote:

Now I am faced with confessing to my psychologist (I have an appointment with her tomorrow at 5pm) that I've had these sucidial attemps. The problem with her questioning of the suicidal events is that I can't even remember trying to suffocate myself or wrist bang so hard that I would start bleeding (the other attempts are far more gruesome and I won't be sharing those).

You HAVE to tell her. Even more important you have tell her about the "loss of time" issue. If the drug has triggered dissociative fugue states you have a lot more going on than a one time med reaction.

quote:

Of course I want to be 100% open with my P because well, it'd be a waste of therapy now, wouldn't it? So, my questions here are:

1. Is it acceptable to "bring" my boyfriend into the session with me? Would I need to have it approved before the session itself? He was the one who witnessed my attempts. I would be horrible at explaining them because I experience a lot of time loss. When I dissociate I have absolutely no idea what happened, what I did, how I conducted myself.

You need to talk to your therapist before you include your boyfriend in your sessions. My question to you is this: Do you know why you want your boyfriend to go to your session with you? Have you considered all the pros and cons to doing this?

quote:

2. Is there any action taken when you admit your recent attempts at suicide to your psychologist? Such as being "committed"? Or does your P take everything into her own hands? Sadly, if it is just the Seroquel XR, I can see them canceling that... but sadly, I do have lingering suicidal thoughts that I don't trust myself when I am alone.

What are you most afraid of? A hospital or being alone when you know you are a danger to yourself? It is unlikely that you would be put into an involuntary commitment situation. A psychologist cannot do that, but they can contact a psychiatrist who can keep you on a 72 hour hold...if they both feel the situation merits that. IMO that is unlikely, but if you are an immediate danger to yourself or anyone else and are resistant to treatment then it is a possibility.

quote:

3. If you are currently employed, does the psychologist or the psychiatrist contact your place of work to make sure you are taking a leave? I am not sure how it all works out. I'm not sure if the psychologist/psychiatrist just take matters into their own hands without sending you to some hospital.

No...this will not happen. Unless you sign a release your therapist cannot discuss anything about you with anyone but you. This is a good reason to discuss whether or not your boyfriend should be included in your session. If you do not discuss this with your T first, she cannot know how to talk to your boyfriend or how to help you while he is there.

quote:

This is where I stand. What would be the course taken here? Should I admit to her my attempts? Or should I let it go as "Oh, it was just a Seroquel XR issue!" ???

Thank you.

To summarize this. I think this is not just a "Seroquel" issue. It may have been a trigger for a much more deeply seated problem...but a one time dose of any drug does not cause these kinds of problems.
I think you would be wise to talk to your therapist about bringing your boyfriend into your sessions before you do it. There are many reasons why I think you should do it this way...but I do not want to make any assumptions about your relationships.

It is unlikely that you would be involuntarily committed to a hospital but regardless you have to talk to your therapist about everything that is happening. You may decide that a voluntary stay in a hospital would be to your benefit. It is a safety net...and not something to be feared. They are there to help you...not hurt you.
This is my "nickels" worth.

What I really want to ask is: How long have you had this type of dissociation?

SD

Hi again Z,
Thank you for your feedback. It was incredibly helpful. I feel I gained a lot of knowledge from it.

I will ask my P before the actual appointment. My main reasoning, like I said, to have my boyfriend there in the first place is because I "lose time" in dissociation. I hadn't known these attempts went on until I saw the aftermath visible on my body. My boyfriend also informed me that I struck him several times, and I had no memory of that. I must have had a HUGE blow up and passed out. I black out in numerous occasions... the first time doing so was this past summer, amongst people who were NOT supportive. They called me names like "twirly head" and "Sybil". Anyways...

As for my P making the decision to hospitalize me... she is well aware of my violence towards others in moments of rage. I turn to being violent towards myself which she is also aware of. I'm not sure if she's going to make that decision based on all I've told her before... but now that you've informed me, I am not shocked if she does get me into a hospital.

quote:

3) Your P CANNOT tell your place of work that you are hospitalized. Confidentially is so important. If you do wind up in a hospital, and someone calls to leave you a message, they won't even acknowledge to that person that you are at the hospital, they will say "IF that person is here, they will receive that message."

Then how do I get out of work? How do I do that?! My job is literally the most manipulative job out there that you can't get off from work by ANY F*cking means. I am sorry to raise hostility but this job is one of the biggest sources of my pain. I can't leave because it took a few years to get these excellent benefits. There is also ZERO job openings in the area.

Thanks...

soulfuldaze, Hello

quote:

I know this drug is considered an anti-psychotic but none of these drugs are really diagnosis specific, they can be used for many reasons. I take it to help me fall asleep. I don't like it...it does make me hungover and groggy in the morning. I have no idea how anyone can actually function while taking it. I take 50mg or less and chew it up. I am usually asleep within 30 minutes. I don't know how taking it once could be causing the difficulties you are describing.

Oh, these aren't diagnose specific? How come on several websites and the DSM list this drug as being one of the main medications for those with schizophrenia or bipolar? My uncle for example, he is on 500mg of Seroquel XR for schizophrenia. I meant no harm in insulting either diagnosis.

quote:

You need to talk to your therapist before you include your boyfriend in your sessions. My question to you is this: Do you know why you want your boyfriend to go to your session with you? Have you considered all the pros and cons to doing this?

I will call my P up tomorrow. I have considered the pros and cons. See, I'm a bluntly honest person and I don't tend to hide things to complicate things in my life to a further degree. I do know why I want him to be there-- he can tell it like it is (my dissociation, my violent outbursts, my abusing him). Because I have no recollection as I wasn't coherent!

quote:

What are you most afraid of? A hospital or being alone when you know you are a danger to yourself? It is unlikely that you would be put into an involuntary commitment situation. A psychologist cannot do that, but they can contact a psychiatrist who can keep you on a 72 hour hold...if they both feel the situation merits that. IMO that is unlikely, but if you are an immediate danger to yourself or anyone else and are resistant to treatment then it is a possibility.

Does my post sound worried or afraid? I am not at all. I was simply curious as to how these situations are dealt with.

quote:

To summarize this. I think this is not just a "Seroquel" issue. It may have been a trigger for a much more deeply seated problem...but a one time dose of any drug does not cause these kinds of problems.

It may have been a trigger. Who knows.

quote:

What I really want to ask is: How long have you had this type of dissociation?

5-8 years now. They go in and out, but this past summer I was having them daily for 2-3 weeks I believe. That or 2 1/2. Something like that. Which is the main reason-- my boyfriend has stayed through it all without my manipulation to, or fierce control. He is supportive as all hell, truth be told. What I share with my P is that I tell him everything and she is very glad I have that one person in my life that won't judge me and will say "it is NEVER YOUR FAULT" for the multiple rapings (incestuous and non-relative) as a child, and for the abandonment my father and mother put my younger sister and I through. He also excuses the frequent projections due to my past childhood-high school. I don't use my boyfriend as a possession. He's a good friend, as well as a lover.

K

Hey there, Attachment Girl

quote:

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it has to be confusing and scary beyond belief. I'm really glad you had the courage to post about it.

Thank you for your sympathies. Coming on here has been very helpful, there's a load of supportive users. This has got to be my most favorite forum!

quote:

I would bring your boyfriend to the session. My husband and I have both gone to each other's sessions (before we were seeing the same T) and usually without letting our T know first. If you're really nervous about it, leave a phone message that's he coming. But I think the fact that he has information that you don't due to disassociating makes him an incredible resource for both your P and you. He sounds like a good guy that he's willing to do this.

I am leaning towards bringing him too. First I am going to make sure it is alright for my P. I don't want to make it uncomfortable for her but I have made a comment before that I am prone to "losing time" and that if my boyfriend were to attend our sessions, he could much better explain it ... because really I sit there on the couch going "umm,, ahhh?" over trying to explain what went on, which was beyond me!

I am happy to hear you feel bringing my boyfriend in would be a good idea. I would also feel more comfortable. There's nothing I haven't said to my P that my boyfriend hasn't heard. I am glad you and your husband have benefited from attending each others sessions!

Thank you for all of the hospital information... really sounds like you know your stuff! I am in the state of Wisconsin, maybe I should get on reading up on the laws for us here.

Take care as well,
K

quote:

Then how do I get out of work? How do I do that?! My job is literally the most manipulative job out there that you can't get off from work by ANY F*cking means. I am sorry to raise hostility but this job is one of the biggest sources of my pain. I can't leave because it took a few years to get these excellent benefits. There is also ZERO job openings in the area.

I haven't ever had to take more then a two weeks off work for hospitalizations, so I've always just used my personal time for it - the two week one was actually for a blood clot in my leg, not psychiatric. Honestly, it's just never been a problem for me. I'm not skittish about telling people where I am, and my work is quite flexible about time off. It's a good question, one that I think your P could answer better then I. (Or perhaps other folks around here have dealt with situations more similar to yours.)

I am glad that you are going to tell you P! Its very important that you do whether she hospitalizes you or not because it is about trust. If you trust her then you should tell her cause she will want to do what is best for you and can only do that when you let her in on what is truly going on.

As far as taking the boyfriend, I dont think it matters that much if you do. Most P's want what ever is going to help you and if that means bringing someone with you then are usually okay with it. But if you would feel better asking first than do that, but he has important information so he needs to be there. And most P's will talk normally in front of the people you bring but let you guide the conversations so that you talk about what you want discussed in front of this person. Every counselor, T, and P I have ever had has told me I could bring any one I want to my sessions because they are my sessions and they are about helping me.

I always just got a doctors note saying that I could not return to work for a couple of weeks due to an illness. I know down here that if you have a doctors excuse they cant fire you. My P has even called my family doctor and had him write up an excuse for missing work so that I would have it. They have been willing to do it because they understand that its not the best thing for the work to know what is going on, and it is an illness that needs to be treated. My family doctor would only do it if my P contacted him. When I didnt have a family doctor my P would find someone else to. Its worth asking yours about.

Hi K...

I'm posting this reply to let you know that I am sorry that my first post to you was so intense. I was feeling a bit agitated (my own stuff) when I posted to you. It kinda leaks out and my tone comes across as a bit terse.
I am not really...I speak from my own personal experience and that sometimes makes me agitated.

As you can see...from the varied responses that you have received. Therapists...ie: social workers, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, analysts....set their own boundaries and really make their own rules. So I think you just have to go in there...be honest and find out what happens. A lot of it depends on the relationship you have with your P.

My caution to you about taking your boyfriend into your session comes from my personal experience. I took my partner in to one of my sessions and it didn't work out very well for any of us. It was a bit of crisis and my partner was very upset...I was in shock and my T didn't know how to deal with it. I did not ask or inform my T that I was going to include my partner in this session so she was totally unprepared. It was a very difficult session and didn't provide relief or answers. It caused more problems than it solved, and shook my confidence in my T. Since then I have come to understand why my T had so much trouble with the session.

I, very much, want you to understand that I am on your side. I think that if your boyfriend is a good support and can provide some insight that will help, then you should be able to include him in your treatment if that is what you want. I only caution you to be aware that there are risks.
As Pippi said...most therapists are willing and able to accommodate your needs in regard to your treatment. I think mine has a bit of a different take and I have come to understand her position.

I am very dissociative and have been for as long as I can...or as the case may be...cannot remember.
So yes...I am very concerned for you. It's a very complicated situation.

You are also correct about the primary uses of Seroquel. It is primarily used for psychotic conditions. My comment was only about the ancillary uses of this drug. It is often used in combination with other medications and may or may not have anything to do with being psychotic. I am neither bi-polar or schizophrenic but have been diagnosed with DID. I frequently have periods of hyper-vigilance and long periods of sleep deprivation. Soooo...having tried all other sleep agents...my psychiatrist put me on low dose Seroquel. As I said...I don't like it and will probably stop taking it as soon as I can, but for right now...it is providing me with the stability and energy to work my treatment plan.
Yes...I did think that you voiced some fear about possible hospitalization. I'm relieved to hear that I was perhaps wrong in this assessment. I hope you can get all the help that is available to you.

I sincerely hope your session goes well and wish to offer any support I can give. It sucks big time to not know what you are doing and to have to deal with "black time" and the aftermath. But it will get better...it may take some hard work and you might need more help than you realize, but it will get better.

I wish you only the best and will be thinking about you and looking forward to reading your posts.

SD

Heya Pippi! Always nice to hear from you.

I took your advice (to bring in my boyfriend, and to let my P know of my several attempts at suicide). My boyfriend being there was quite helpful in the outcome. Being that I have "time loss" issues, I could not be any help in describing what it was like to have gone through such a chaotic experience.

My P was very accepting about my boyfriend joining in. She said, "whatever you want" and that felt very warm and comfortable for me.

quote:

I always just got a doctors note saying that I could not return to work for a couple of weeks due to an illness. I know down here that if you have a doctors excuse they cant fire you.

I also got myself a doctors note tonight at session! Technically I am "elligable" for a 6 week leave but I think that would be taking advantage of the too-good-of-feelings being away from my job that is sucking the life out of me. I could afford it, being that my rent is rather cheap, but I won't be taking that long of a leave. I have off work for the next few days.. and hopefully my requesting off for work next week will be granted. If not, I'll get my P on the phone with my manipulative b*tch of a boss! HAHA! Wha-zam, you can't say shit, and if you do, I'LL JUST UP AND QUIT!... Sorry, I am literally fed-up with this job. It really is just that terrible. No over dramatization here.

Thanks for your input.
K

Hi soulfuldaze,
I appreciate your apology regarding the first post you made on my thread here. I am a very understanding person and I took no offense. Sometimes it's inevitable-- to leak out all of that agitation. I often bring that agitation to these forums (oops) but it's natural; we are all human beings and I think displaying ourselves in that raw form is the most honest anyone can be. So thank you for being considerate enough to look back and realize that you felt you were being a bit harsh.

It is okay.

quote:

My caution to you about taking your boyfriend into your session comes from my personal experience. I took my partner in to one of my sessions and it didn't work out very well for any of us. It was a bit of crisis and my partner was very upset...I was in shock and my T didn't know how to deal with it. I did not ask or inform my T that I was going to include my partner in this session so she was totally unprepared. It was a very difficult session and didn't provide relief or answers.

I totally understand and have had a few friends attempt to bring their partners into session with them and they've mostly came out of it in a disastrous wind. Luckily, my bringing my boyfriend to tonight's session was great. We all worked well together and my P always asked if it was okay if she'd question my boyfriend on certain things. I just feel, to myself, that I have nothing to hide and because I value honesty more than life itself I welcome it with open arms. I never once made a sour face at the things my boyfriend said, although I'm sure another person would have. Both of us being there (including my P) was so very productive. I am thankful to have both in my life-- my boyfriend and my P. At first she had something about her that didn't sit well with me but now that has totally changed.

quote:

I am very dissociative and have been for as long as I can...or as the case may be...cannot remember. So yes...I am very concerned for you. It's a very complicated situation.

I am sorry. I know what dissociation is like, in all forms. I am on your side too! Pardon my ignorance, but is DID Dissociative Identity Disorder?

quote:

I wish you only the best and will be thinking about you and looking forward to reading your posts.

Yours as well. You leave me with a very nice warm feeling. You touched me. I hope that we could even be pen-pal buddies. Wouldn't that be fun? Let me know what you think.

Take care, I appreciate you opening up like this.

K

Hi all-- With my latest visit from this evening @ the mental health clinic I was put on Abilify 2mg for starters.... Any of you tried this out before? And was it beneficial?

Thanks!

Caeti723,
I have been on Abilify before. It was an augment to my antidepressant. I did pretty well on it. My P said it was the "glue" that held me together. I did have to go off it because of metabolic syndrome. ie pre-diabetes.
I now take lamictal as a mood stabilizer to augment my antidepressant. I thought the abilify was better. But it is no longer an option for me.
Hope it works for you.

emogirl

Emogirl- Great to hear. I think I am having positive effects with it as well. Does it take the same amount of time as some SSRIS like Lexapro/Prozac to kick in? My P said the Abilify would make my stomach really sick but nope, I haven't felt that way at all!

Thank you for the well wishes. I hope your days go great also.

K