Anyone else struggle with this? What makes it worse? better?

I have boughts of insomina, and sometimes it is hard for me to admit. My father had insomina on and off for as long as I could remember. I guess I feel bad about having insomina myself because on some level, I worry it means I'm like him.

I also have nightmares at times. I used to have them much more often. I have also been known to talk and walk in my sleep, especially when I am stressed. I also have had several night terrors as an adult. (I don't recall this happening as a kid.) It's where I wake up very alarmed but have no dream that matches. The last one happened when I was traveling out of state. I fell asleep at a friends house a little early after a long day. I had been dealing wtih a lot back home and it had felt good to get away from it all. About 30 minutes after I fell asleep, I screamed "no, get away." I woke up and my ears were ringing, but I wasn't sure why... My friend came rushing down the hall and asked if I was ok... it took a minute before I was fully awake and she told me what happened. I felt ok once I was awake and I had no memory of any dream.

I also have the occasional night where falling to sleep scares me. Something kicks in and I feel scared to let go and sleep. It's some kind of self protective PTSD thing. I will feel like I have to stay awake or I can't protect myself against anyone who wants to do something bad to me.

Lately, it's mostly just been the insomina. It's sometimes hard to fall asleep, and usually I wake up only 3-4 hours later and struggle to fall asleep again. I'm feeling really self concious about it. (I'm not my father!) I thought I would counter-act the self consiousness by posting about this...

I also want to ask if anyone else deals with any of these kinds of things?

Yes, I have insomnia right when I go to bed almost every night and nightmares and wake throughout the night and sometimes have middle of the night insomnia too. I have unhelpful, but well-meaning friends that give me a list of activities not to do before bed and techniques, but nothing helps. Sometimes, it's like my eyes won't stop moving. Sometimes, my brain won't stop thinking. Sometimes, I lie awake in a panic about how it will feel when I know I am about to die (annihilation stuff) and what if I am wrong and I will just cease to exist? I have very disturbing nightmares almost every night. No night terrors that I can think of, thank God. I do talk/scream in my sleep sometimes. I have always been this way. I can remember having disturbing nightmares (that I still recall in detail) as young as Kindergarten. Sometimes they are real life things, but usually freaky supernatural type stuff.

Edit: I could blame my husband's condition for making me afraid to sleep, but in reality I have experienced all these problems for many years, most since childhood.

Advil PM and no caffeine after noon.

Oh man, I have so been there with this.

I've tried everything -- creating a calming nighttime routine, journaling, meditation.

It seems like I just get in a rut of having bad nights, and then I'm okay for awhile. The only thing that has ever *really* helped is xanax.

I don’t have insomnia now (actually I sleep like a rock!) but it took tons of hard work to get here…. Probably most importantly I do an all natural, vegan, no processed foods, barley any sugar, no white starches, no caffeine (except a green tea in the morning) diet. That’s made the biggest difference in how I sleep and how I wake up in the morning. Then I also have tons of others things that I do like meditating, herbal supplements, hot bathes, reading, and calming music. Also exercising for at least a couple hours every day- that makes a huge difference for me.

I know what you mean, jane, about being scared to fall asleep too… my flashbacks used to only happen when I would be laying in bed and getting tired and ready to sleep… so then of course I never wanted to sleep. Once I got a handle on the mindfulness they stopped happening… which is almost too bad because I can’t practice mindfulness on them anymore, and it was so empowering!

Mac

I suffer from insomnia. It's been a problem for me for many years, however, I seem to go through bouts, on again/off again with it. I believe it runs on my dad's side of the family. My dad suffered from it and one of my brothers suffers from it. I recently learned that my first cousin (dad's side) is an insomniac too.

You might want to check the side effects of any medications you are taking. I just discovered that my heart medication can cause insomnia.

Have you tried taking melatonin? I take about 3 mg a night and that does the trick for me. You can purchase it in 1 mg tabs and experiment with how many mg work for you. It comes in 5 mg tabs too.

((Yaku)), ((LG)), ((BG)), ((DF)) ~ so sorry you struggle with this too. it helps to know I'm not the only one with too many times of being up when I should be asleep...

Yaku ~ I used to have sleep problems as a kid too. (and less than understanding parents. sigh. it didn't really help me deal w the monsters under the bed when my father yelled "go to sleep!") I hope you can find something that works for you! It's so rough and wearing to be sleep deprived.

DF ~ I have been learning about how important having a routine at night is. It really does help. Meds have helped me with the insomina when it has been at it's worst, but the on medication that helped, made my nightmare much worse and horribly graphic. For awhile, I thought it was all just the PTSD, and then I was able to stop the meds, and the nightmares descreased drastically. I have had to go back on the medication every now and then (for a night or two) and the nightmares usually come back like clockwork. ugh. Like trading one problem for another. Night terrors and midnight anxiety attacks are the worst - to wake up in that state is so tough.

BG ~ I get strings of bad nights too. for me, it's like one night leads to several bad nights and then I crash hard and then I'm ok, sorta on track again... after days of being dead tired... I'm glad there is at least one thing that helps. I hope this gets better for you too.


Mac ~ It's encouraging to hear things have improved for you. I used to drink soda, but traded it for green tea, and now I think I'm hooked. I have been wondeirng about a link with my sugar intake. It seems like the more sugar/simple carbs I eat, the more restless I am during the day and I the harder I fall sleep, but sooner I wake up... Mindfulness helped with the flashbacks? cool! I'm perpetually working on mindfulness (I have a long ways to go).

(((IrisRose))) ~ so sorry you struggle with insomina too. My father had boughts of insomina all growing up. I have a feeling it is linked in several ways with him. Checking side effects is a great reminder! I have used melatonin and it works great for me for a couple of days at a time, especially the timed release. I have been trying Valerian Root for the first time to see if that might help...



thanks everyone for the good ideas and input! This is a tough thing to deal with. Not getting enough sleep affects everything else...

~jane

Oh yes. Insomnia and I are old pals. I have nightmares, just plain insomnia sometimes, body memories, extreme fear of falling asleep, sleep paralysis (where it feels like someone is there and I'm in danger but can't move) etc. It's not pretty. A really good night for me is 4-5 hours of sleep total.

I've tried numerous medications, but most do not help. Xanax helps for a while, but then I get used to it and it no longer works, plus it gives me headaches.

I'm sorry I don't have any great ideas, just lots of empathy. I hope you get some sleep soon.

I hate sleep paralysis. Lately, my main (internal) problems are nightmares (a lot of trauma stuff) and waking up with my husband next to me and panicking that he is too close. I have had to tell him to move away lately. He regularly sleeps either spooning me or otherwise right up against me and I have been waking triggered that I am about to be attacked...probably connecting to the years of stuff from his condition.

((((STRM))) ((((Yaku))))

I hope we all get some good solid sleep soon...

I ended up taking two Tylenol PM and sleeping about 10 hours (H took care of my daughter and let me sleep in). I still feel like I could sleep four more hours. I must have been more severely sleep deprived than I thought. It is the first time in weeks that I haven't woken up at least half-a-dozen times at night and the first time getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep. I'm really starting to think I need a break, a real vacation, while I work through some of this more difficult stuff.

Springreen ~ good ideas! reading one of my course books ALWAYS makes me sleepy. Maybe I should use that to actually get some sleep when I need it!

Yaku ~ I'm so glad you were able to get some good sleep and I hope you are able to get some more solid sleep tonight. Sounds like you have really needed it.

Thanks, Jane. Wishing sweet dreams and fulfilling sleep to all of you tonight!

Well, I fell alseep easily, but woke up in the middle of the night... wide awake... I tired some of the ideas here and I think it's working... off to bed again before I fall asleep at this computer screen... good night my dear friends.

Got woken up by H's condition. Wasn't too triggering (just a bit), but now I'm on edge, can't go back to sleep.