I've been a lurker for a couple of months now so I decided now was a good time to post and thank you all.

I found the site while I was searching for information on transference. Not only have you all helped me understand transference and my feelings towards this person so much better, you've given me the strength to dig so much deeper into my own emotions. It hasn't been fun, but it's been so much better being able to come here, read your posts and know I'm not the only one.

All that you've done for me and you didn't even know you were doing it. Thanks to Shrinklady for making this site available, and thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts, knowledge, and experiences that make it easier to get through the day.

Hi Open Windows, and welcome to the forums! Thanks for introducing yourself and all of your kind words. I'm really glad the site has been so helpful. Its a great community and I hope you like being a part of it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

AG

Hello Open Windows, and welcome!

I am glad that you find "our" site so helpful. Shrinklady really has a lot going here and the sense of community has been extremely helpful for all of us and I for one and exceedingly grateful to her for her hard work and dedication to found this site and keep it running like she does.

I am always happy to finally meet one of the lurkers cause we all know you're out there anyay.

I hope to hear from you again as you become more comfortable.
JM

I have also been lurking for a few days. My transference was "killing" me and I happened upon this site while searching for info. I was stunned to see that other people have the same feelings that I have. And, to see that I just might be normal! I see my T 2x's a week, and my last two sessions were unbelievably amazing because I felt so much more confident. I even cried a little. That is BIG for me!

Thanks Shrinklady, and everyone else, for helping me to have a major breakthrough!

Hello and welcome Puppy Lover. Glad you decided to say hello too and that you now feel normal. And if not we always say "At least we're in good company!" I know that is exactly how I felt when I first found this website. I think I cried tears of relief as I read all the posts on transference. It really does seem to help in therapy too because it gives you a sense that you're ok and this is all good and you can surrender yourself to it. It made quite a difference in my therapy too.

Thanks for posting and hope you keep coming back.
JM

Thanks for the welcome AG and JM. It really is good to be here. I'm going to post about my transference in a minute.

Puppy Lover, I'm glad you posted too. I know what you mean about feeling normal and more confident after reading this board. I thought I was going crazy, and now, like JM says, if I am crazy I'm in good company and there is hope that things will get better. Any other lurkers out there that want to say 'hi'?

Welcome Puppy Lover and Open Windows

I found this site not too long ago when I was looking for information on transference. Not only did I find info on transference, but found good company in relating to my thoughts.

This is a great site to read,share, and learn and I am so grateful for finding it.

Looking forward to sharing with both of you.

Kats

Thank you to all of you for being so welcoming!

As I read all of today's new posts, I am shocked and comforted that I could have written any one of them. The knowledge that other people are feeling and experiencing the same things that I am, and I thought I was so crazy, is so calming for me. It also opens a door for me to think that I might have the courage to be more honest with my T. I know that she would not be surprised or disgusted by anything I tell her, but I still fear that. I still have such a strong need to please her, not disappoint her, do therapy "right" for her. I am taking baby steps, but it is so hard. Letting go of control over myself is so frightening to me. My T knows most of this.

I am so glad that I decided to post to all of you. Your bravery to share your stories is admirable!

HI,
I'm samy. And I not know much about transference actually. But I just saying hello.

Samy

Hello Samy, and thank you so much for the welcome.

Welcome Open Windows and Puppy Lover. This is just a wonderful site to talk, get support and comfort and feel that you are not alone in your suffering and your struggles in Therapy. We also love to hear success stories...even the tiny little steps of success should be celebrated. Therapy can be frightening at times and just having a place to talk about that and find out that others feel the same way is incredibly comforting.

As you have probably read, I too, struggle with transference issues with my male T. We have had our ups and downs and bumps in the road but I think each "bump" makes our relationship stronger. As, with OW, my T was first my child's T and because I was also having my own issues I asked him to see me. He was hesitant at first because he was already seeing a family member but it has worked out amazingly well. I was very drawn to him and felt safe with him which is something VERY rare for me. I also think he understood that I would not go elsewhere for help and so he agreed. Although, in the beginning it seemed I only had situational anxiety and treatment would be fairly brief (a few months?) it has turned into something much more complicated that neither of us anticipated and so here we are almost a year later.

I do hope both of you will keep posting and drawing support from those of us here who are all in different phases of our therapy journeys.

True North

OW and PL,

It's good to hear from folks who've been just reading, for me. I know there are a lot of them, and I always wonder what they're thinking about it all.

Glad to meet each of you; it makes the internets seem much less lonely.

Thanks True North and Wynne. Even though I have been going to therapy for 2 years, I am just beginning to really deal with the transference issues. When I first started, it was also for something that I thought was situational, but now my own issues have come up with a vengeance. I am having a very difficult time understanding why I have such strong feelings for a woman that I pay to talk to me twice a week. Even so, I think of her constantly and make decisions according to how I think she would want me to. Whoa!!!! Big revelation here! In saying this just now, I realize that I have done that all my life with my mom and now that she has passed away, I still do it. Hmm.... probably a discussion I should have with my T. Just don't know if I can get up the guts to tell her that I think of her all the time. It just sounds too perverted and wrong to me. She knows about my transference, but saying some of this stuff to her face is just too risky for me at this time.

That's why reading all of your posts is helping me so much. Even though I feel great shame for having these feelings, I am comforted to know that they are not unique to just me.

PL

Thank you True North and Wynne.

Wynne, we are thinking that you all are so wonderful for sharing your experiences that we use to be able to get through the day. When we're having a bad day and think no one understands, we come here and just read. We learn from your successes and your difficulties. We wish we could give back even half of what you've given us. We're not sure we can verbalize what we're going through half as well as you, so we don't. We're afraid to share our innermost thoughts even anonymously because that would make us more vulnerable. We're afraid to post because what if you all really do think we're crazy, or that no one will want to respond to our post? We start posting more than once and then chicken out because we're not sure our issues are that important that you would want to read them. We don't really think we'll be rejected, because you are all so warm and welcoming, but what if we were?

OK, maybe that's just my own self and what I was thinking while lurking.

I am glad I posted, I feel like I've taken an important step.

quote:

I am comforted to know that they are not unique to just me.

Me too!