fall asleep, thank you T2, you old shit!! jill

MHP,
Hmmmm. I need to get better at bringing this stuff up with my T. I'm so used to my patterns that I don't think they are of particular importance and don't bring them up. It's hard though; all interconnected and stuff. Obviously I don't always question them myself either.

I really appreciate your thoughtful input. Yes, it makes sense. Hmmm.
Thank you,
KOI

Hey UV,

your experience is a great example. It shows that you have to be 'picky' about choosing the right T to find one that will fit your personality and that it can take a long time. But when you find the right one, Bingo !

When I see new patients, I always explain to them the kind of therapy I would employ to treat them. And I encourage them to do some resarch on it.

For a professional, experience and competence are as important, if not more, than than his or her academic credentials (except for psychiatry which is a bit different).

Hi, MHP- and welcome to the forum. It is nice to see your post! I think it's pretty brave of you to admit you are a T on here! (We promise we son't hold it against you I hope you will find yourself able to post about your own stuff, too, and get some support as well! See you around the forum! Sorry, I just wanted to chime in with the welcome.

In terms of unhelpful things therapist do, well, that is a touch one. I think my therapist is God, you see. But I guess, I find it unhelpful when he always insists on starting every session with "how can I help you" or some such equivalent. It's hard for me to open up, I'd always wished it could be more of an organic and natural discussion. That being said, he insists it is part of the therapy, "I have to learn to ask for what I need." Unfortunatly what I need is for him to stop backing me into a corner and asking me what I need! That's my gripe. I have no idea if I am right or he is. Confusing.

BB

BB

I just want to echo what BB said and say welcome to the forum, MHP. Thanks for saying upfront that you’re a T and a patient.

I’ll have to do some thinking to come up with something that I don’t like about my T…

Hi BB and MacLove. Thanks !

BB, I think it's more complicated than who's right and who's wrong.

I know that in some situations, like meeting with someone special, I tend to be a bit nervous/anxious or just apprehensive. When this happens, I imagine the person is in front of me and I say out loud what I have to tell. A bit like a rehearsal. This helps by noticing my emotions/how I feel, when the words are actually coming out of my mouth.

In your case, your T told you: "You have to learn to ask for what you need". Maybe, you could start by interpreting it as: "You have to learn to ask YOURSELF for what you need". There're 2 things I'd suggest you try: before a session, when you feel comfortable at home, or outside, think about what you need. Once you have established this (if you can), IMAGINE you are in a session with your T. Close your eyes if it helps. Now talk to him. Not in your head, words have to come out of your mouth. Tell him that you thought about 'What I need' and then tell him what you need. When you do this, try to be attentive to how you feel, body reactions, etc... If you think it didn't come out right, no problem, do it again. Do it a few hours later or the next day until you feel comfortable saying it. This is a simple but often effective CBT type of technique.

Now if after trying this, you still can't bring yourself to talk and open up to your T, maybe you could tell him that you're having a hard time talking to him. Don't worry, he won't be offended. Just let him know that for you it is hard to open up and that you need help to be able to do so.

These are just suggestions of course... Let me know what you think.

A few years ago, I had a MASSIVE breakdown. A really big and dark depressive episode. Like, really bad... My GP sent me to see a T that I never met before. I honestly can't remember if I was anxious or not about seeing him because I was in such a bad state. However I remember my GP telling me: 'Tell him everything, don't hold anything back, open the flood gates...". And I did. See, a T is there to help you. He or She doesn't have to be your friend to help you, but like any other professional in the health field, he/she has to know what's going on to be able to help you. A T will not judge you either, no matter what you say. That's not his/her job it wouldn't be useful for the therapy anyway.