I don't think I could ever do it without asking myself, but I don't think I could ever ask...LOL, I'd be stuck! I have a lot of issues with my boundaries being violated, so I am super-vigilant about other's boundaries (even T) and feel the need to defend his imaginary boundaries by asking for permission for EVERYTHING. I think he is starting to get frustrated that I don't trust him to take care of himself, actually.

quote:

I do it because it is the only way I can recall our sessions, as my memory is next to useless at the best of times and in therapy virtually non-existent...all I come away with is vibes, mood and a few stand-out comments. it has been invaluable to listen to sessions, hear his caring responses, hear where I go wrong, hear where I have misunderstood and lost the plot in a session and just simply hear all his carefully chosen words and draw from them.

Wow- my experience is so similar, that I wish I had recorded sessions. I think it would have helped me a lot. I was always so scared to ask T for that, though. I think he would say no.

Holding on- I'd go for it! What do you have to lose by asking? ( )

BB

I recorded a session without my T knowing- I actually got the idea from a book. I have an ipod touch with an external mic and I just put it in my bag. I guess I thought, what if I can’t stand hearing my voice and I never want to record again? But I ended up loving it because there is so much I miss during the session, and when I’m listening to my sessions somehow I can believe everything that my T says and really let it soak it. When i’m sitting in session for some reason I can’t hear how much love there is in his voice until I’m listening to it again. I told him that I recorded our session the very next week and asked him if I can keep recording. He was VERY happy and said it was great! He said that this (meaning therapy) is my time and I can do with it what I choose. Now I spend about 2 hours every week listening, processing, and journaling my sessions.

Since I’ve had such a great experience with recording sessions, I would say DEFINETLY ask your P! But I obviously don’t know what your P will say or if you will like hearing your own voice. It’s up to you, but I don’t think you have anything to loose in just asking.

Mac

I have recorded the last two session and last two phone calls with my sweet P and it is helping me so much and it was his idea. I find it brilliant.I am recording the phone calls. I have not asked him about that and now I feel embarrassed to say that I am, but they are so deep and he says things that I need to listen to several times over.
I know if I tell him, he will say it is fine, so I just have to pluck up courage,
I asked my ex C if could record her and she said no and as most of you know, she and I did NOT get on, in the those last few months and I just threw back at her that I could record them secretly anyway ( not realistic - I could not have done that with her) and she took that as a threat and almost searched my bags as I came in.

ask,

I want to record a session with T, so I can really "get" the care that I gloss over when I am blanking out. I'm afraid to ask, not because I think T will object, but because I tell H everything about what goes on with T. When I told him I was thinking of sitting on the floor, he made me feel like I was very strange for wanting that (He's like, "I've heard of weirder things on the internet, but yeah, that is really f---ing weird." GRRR). I can't imagine what kind of stalker he would act like I am being if he knew I had looked up T's picture on the website for one of the centers he worked at or recorded T's voice to listen to. Stupid H!!!

I prefer to sit on the floor and I love hearing my sweet P's voice, you are just normal Yaku!
And oh boy I wish I had a photo of my sweet P. Just tell H you are normal

Yaku,

You are totally normal. Do you have to tell your H everything? I have recordings of my T that she made for me or we made together. I listen to them all of the time. I also have a picture of her and it even comes up on my phone if she texts or calls. Trust me, it's all okay.

Thanks for the reassurance, you guys. H can be very judgmental about strange things, considering he can be very weird himself. I do feel like I want to be as transparent with H as possible. H says he doesn't really care, as long as I know I CAN be. T thinks that me doing that is very good. I told T, frankly, that because I am being so vulnerable with him (T), I want to make sure that I am being equally or more vulnerable with H to preserve my emotional intimacy. There is a lot of hurt over his condition and the incident that happened, so it would be very easy for me to disconnect now that I have found another person who I feel "safer" with right now. T supports me in this, thinks I'm a good wife and brave, I guess, for making the commitment. I guess I need to learn not to be quite so compulsive about it, though. H really has been my best friend since before we started dating in 1998, so I don't want to lose that emotional closeness along with all the intimacy struggles we're having because of his condition and my trauma. Maybe I worry too much about these sort of things...