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This message has been edited. Last edited by: Summer,

I dont know what to say except for its very normal and common thing to happen in therapy. Its great you can see your daughters P. Your not crazy at all.

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It's helped me so much to read about everyone else's experiences with transference and realize I'm not alone - I'm not actually crazy!

Hi Summer

I would imagine that most of us here know exactly what you are saying. It's an eye opener isn't it? To finally realize that all those thoughts that you beat yourself up about, because you thought they were crazy, are normal! It was a huge relief for me also.

My transference didn't come as quickly as yours, but I fought it for quite some time because I thought it was warped and inappropriate. It took a lot of convincing from my T, and seeing what everyone here posted, to make me believe that this is what is supposed to happen. Although, I still have difficulty with it.

PL

Summer

You make all the sense in the world to me. It took me so long to even suggest to my T that I had feelings for her. When I let just a little bit of it out she said, "This is the heart of therapy. Now we can explore so many more things."

I've never asked her how it will be resolved because I don't think there is one universal answer. I do know that after telling your P again and again and again...........and having him respond to you in a safe, non-judgemental, caring, loving, understanding etc. way, your brain will begin to rewire itself and you will find some peace from the pain. There is no quick fix in my opinion. It takes time, just as learning any new behavior would.

I'm sure your P knows exactly what you are feeling, but if he is like all the other P's & T's he is waiting for YOU to bring it up. It is really scary and difficult to do (at least it was for me, and still is) but you will be so glad that you got past that. He won't think that you are repulsed by the feelings, he will want to help you to stop suffering with them. And because your feelings for him are a reflection of your feelings in other relationships, you will have a lot to look at, talk about and think about. Take a big breath and just let it spill! You'll be glad you did.

PL

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Originally posted by Summer:
Funny thing is... I'm the only one in therapy in my household despite meeting Ps and Ts for my children during their teenage years. They seem to be functioning fine now after relatively short therapy. I'm so glad neither experienced transference and wonder how common it is, at least in the way we are experiencing it, with teenagers.

Summer

Im seeing a therapist for psychotherapy, Im the only one in my house that is, the rest see a family counsellor occasionally who i cant stand.

Im quite young and it surprised me that you said that your teenagers hadn't experienced transference.

I'm not trying to be rude or presume things but in my experience i havent ever told my mother about transference feelings because some of the feelings are stronger than i would have for my own mother and they are sometimes scary. Also some transference is just to do with liking or hating the therapist and maybe they dont recognise it as transfernce.

That said they obviously haven't experienced it the way that you have. You can get thru this, transference "apparently" is supposed to help, its not meant to be looked upon as something to be ashamed of. Its so natural and normal.

Sorry if this sounds like a lecture >> HUGS!

quote:

I'm not trying to be rude or presume things but in my experience i havent ever told my mother about transference feelings because some of the feelings are stronger than i would have for my own mother and they are sometimes scary. Also some transference is just to do with liking or hating the therapist and maybe they dont recognise it as transfernce.

Em
You make a very good point here. I have wondered if my son felt anything for his current therapist. He used to have a man, who I thought was pretty nice, but my son finally said he wanted to stop seeing him because it was boring!?! So, we stopped. His T now is a very energetic, hot looking woman. Seriously, any teen age boy could get MAJOR transference for her! But, he has never said anything (and I really don't expect him to). I just also wonder if it is different for teens. Your input is very helpful. And BTW, you are very articulate and knowledgeable. I don't know how young you are, but I would never have guessed you were much younger than any of the rest of us by the way you express yourself.

PL