Thanks everyone! I feel so blessed to have found this forum. What a wonderful group of people you are!

I was sad when I received the email from my former T because there was absolutely nothing to it. Maybe twenty words. She said thanks for writing, and that she's happy to know I made a decision I feel comfortable with. Then she told me to take care of myself, and that was that.

I was also sad because hearing from her made it all seem so final, which is really a stupid way to feel since I'm the one who made it final when I wrote to her.

I'm feeling better now though, but it's going to feel strange on Monday when I don't go to see her at 2 o'clock like I've done for the past 10 months.

Do you guys want to know the craziest part of this whole thing? I KNEW, when I first started seeing her for therapy, that something like this was going to happen. I didn't want it to happen (I'd only just met the woman at that point), I just knew that it would. I REALLY did. Does that not say something about me?

Thanks again to all of you! I think I'm going to like it here!

VL- (may I call you that?) I don't think there is anything stupid about the way you feel. No, not in the least. And I would feel exactly the same... Yet you did the right thing. Just try, not to beat yourself up for all the feelings it will bring up in you. Try not to think of yourself as stupid for feeling the way you do, because, that is taking the blame on yourself. I know, I know, easier said than done, but it is not your fault that you have these feelings, nor is it your fault that your T wasn't very safe for you to go to with those feelings. Do you have a new T that you can process some of this stuff with? I know you said you had, but I wasn't sure if it was a permanent thing, or you had settled in yet.

Take care or yourslef...must be hard to find a minute, I know, but be kind to yourself. In your thoughts at least!

BB

ps, you say that you knew something like this would happen...did you expect that it would become a relationship that was based on you meeting her needs, you mean, or do you mean something else? The short answer to your question "does that not say something about me?" is that yes, in fact it DOES say something about you...something that you probably need to find out about slowly under the guidance of a caring therapist who is there for YOU, to help you do that...the long answer to your question would involve all the reasons why that does NOT make you a bad or flawed person. Rather, I would suspect, a hurting person.

Hugs,

BB