I was telling me T some stuff, trying to open up more and not keep secrets, it was so scary...and she made it even scarier...she looked like she was about to cry and I couldnt keep talking, I felt like I was hurting her.

Whatt am i gnna do, I havent even gotten to the worst parts..... and shes pushing me to do it but i dont want her to cry!

And i dont wana hurt her

Sometimes when we're talking about something that is fairly powerful, or that the hurt from a situation is apparent - My T appears to be moved to the point of welling up.

What I think of when that happens - is that if she can feel the impact of what I'm saying, and see how much it hurts me (shown through her own emotions), she can help me understand and work through it.

Part of me gets concerned with triggering her through my stuff...But then I remember what she has told me that the reason she believes in this process so much, is that she has been through it herself.

What I've noticed...is that when that does happen - she seems to connect strongly with me, and through that, I feel less alone.

I'm confident my T has been through a hell of a lot more than I have... But it really grounds me when she reacts strongly to something...It makes it feel real...and makes it feel like if she could get through her stuff, I can get through mine with her help and guidance.

Hi DontGiveUpOnMe...

How safe would you feel bringing this up to your T? Sometimes compassion is good and other times it can be a scary thing as well. I see two therapists and both of them have gotten teary in session before not really about the worst stuff either. For the bad stuff they are very containing, sometimes it's good stuff or other issues that caused the 3-4 times it has happened. When my T does things in session that makes it hard to open up I try to bring them up to her even if it's scary and even if I think that she'll never care about me again if I tell her what the issue is.

I think my T has once or twice. I'm certain of it.

quote:

What I've noticed...is that when that does happen - she seems to connect strongly with me, and through that, I feel less alone.

I'm confident my T has been through a hell of a lot more than I have... But it really grounds me when she reacts strongly to something...It makes it feel real...and makes it feel like if she could get through her stuff, I can get through mine with her help and guidance.

It grounds me too. Her empathy seemed so real and I felt so connected to her at that moment. Weirdly I felt sad that I could not be stronger. I felt like saying to her 'I'm sorry that I'm letting you down and I'm weak'.

Your T sounds very compassionate. Maybe go at your own pace. Bit by bit? And if it really bothers you try and bring it up with her maybe?

Hello DGUOM!
It can be a little unsettling when our T's react emotionally - and validating also. I questioned my T the 1st time it happened and she was a bit surprised that I'd 'kind of' forgotten she was human and reacted to 'stuff' but reassured me that she takes very good care of herself so she can then take very good care of me and her other clients and to never hold back on telling her anything!!!

So, I'd mention it to her and I'm sure she'll react much like my own dear T!

Be gentle with yourself DGUOM x

Hi DGUOM
You reacted exactly the same way i did the first time i saw t cry and react to what we were talking about and feeling and it made me think should i be telling her stuff. we talked about and t told me she has ways to take care of herself and that taking care of herself was her job not mine. since our little chat her looking sad and getting some tissues out doesn't bother me as much now - t and i have been close to tears a lot and for me it means she is in tune with me and our attachment is growing stronger - when she is like this it also means for me she is really hearing me and caring for me, be gentle dguom t - if you can't face telling t that you think this when she looks sad i wrote it in a letter to t which helped start us talking about it - JMB x

T always remained professionally detached, and in clinical mode. I didnt have to worry about his reactions. It somehow felt safer.

Thank u all for the replies, I appreciate it so much. '

I guess I dont want her to be a robot...but I feel like Im doing something bad.
My momm a used to beat me, ide get in a lot of trouble, for crying or if I made anybody emotionally upset, I was blamed for almost everything.....and her being sad like that makes me think....maybe I did something bad again to somebody else,
I feel like I deserve punishment. I feel like I shouldnt feel like she feels bad about me because thats the very thing I was reprimanded for the most..

I used to be threatened that if I ever told or cried about it or acted like anything happened to me, Ide get beaten... I would get beaten for no reason most of the time, but its scarier if theres a reason...
her crying makes me feel horrible,

My whole body hurts as if I was just freshly punished, even though I havent been punished in years.

Im scared to tell her things, Im scared Im making it up, Imean I remember things, but I was always told I was making it up..and my memory is so bad, I dont know anymore.

Im sorry this kinda came out like rambling, sometimes I just write.. and write and dont know what im saying.


Im gonna regret sounding so stupid in this post later.

You haven't done anything wrong any nobody wants to punish you. Hopefully you can talk to your T about how you feel when she tears up and that will help.

It sounds like PTSD to me that you are experiencing triggered by seeing your therapists emotions.

if i told her all this, do you think...shed get mad at me..

I dont think ide have th guts to tell her anyway.

I think you should tell her so she can help you. She probably thinks she's being supportive and doesn't realize what she is triggering. I'd def tell her. Why are you afraid to tell her?

You've told all of us so far and none of us have gotten mad so far...so I don't think she would either. I agree it sounds like you've got trauma that got triggered by her reaction.

She can be more sensitive to you if she knows.