Yep, definitely struggle with the above heading but I think it's part of my low self esteem and my transference issues. Like other posters have said, we see these people as nigh perfect as they seem to have unbelievable insight into our problems and feelings. My T never gets flustered nor does he give me the impression that I'm not the centre of attention during the session. I can throw anything at him and he can take it.

However, I still find it hard to trust his feelings towards me as I have such a low opinion of myself that I find it hard to accept anyone cares about me. He has to make it clear that he wouldn't do anything to jepordise my healing process and that he doesn't judge me. All this just serves to make me think he's even better than I thought he was.

However, it is the little things that my T lets out in sessions that make me feel a little more relaxed about putting him on a pedastel, for example in today's session he recounted a time when he lost the plot with someone and it made me feel good in a weird way because it made me think, yes, he is imperfect, just like me.

Though being a total perfectionist is damn hard work in general. Nothing's ever good enough, one part of your life might be adequate but there is never enough hours in the day in which you could improve yourself.

I know this is an old post but thought i'd comment too....

My T is not perfect and I love that she does not try to pretend to be. She often reminds me she isn't perfect, she is human, and that she has never been the kind of person to have everything all together. Her imperfections are what makes her real to me, and what makes it possible for me to trust her. I couldn't trust someone who appeared flawless. It's hard enough to be open and vulnerable in front of my T, let alone a freaking saint. What I need in a T isn't someone who is perfect, but someone who is perfect for me, and I think that's what I've found. Today anyway!

I don't believe anyone is 100% perfect. Some people just naturally appear perfect on the surface, but I highly doubt anyone actually feels perfect inside, Ts included. It could also be the way we look at them, with such idolization, like a young child with a parent. Apparently when you're a baby/toddler you think your parents are perfect. And that probably lasts longer if they dont do anything to shatter those feelings. So its kind of understandable to idealize your T when their roles are often of the main caregiver in your life.

quote:

However, I still find it hard to trust his feelings towards me as I have such a low opinion of myself that I find it hard to accept anyone cares about me. He has to make it clear that he wouldn't do anything to jepordise my healing process and that he doesn't judge me. All this just serves to make me think he's even better than I thought he was.

I hear you there sister! That's a constant source of confusion for me. Some days I believe parts of the wonderful things she says about me but more often than that I explain it all away so it fits in with the rest of my world and what i am used to. And I know it's bad but I've decided the reason my T feels so strongly for me is that I must remind her of someone else - someone in her 'real' life. Intellectually I know she means what she says, but emotionally I just dont know how to accept it.

My T also says no matter how perfect someone is/seems, there's still no guarantee they'll be liked by everyone - she says there was even people who hated Mother Theresa.

LTF

Yes I have. I’ve been there. Which was pathetic.
I thought my C was a god. I thought he was a perfect human being.
When he said to me “ I am not perfect” I was very shocked and disappointed.
I thought he could rescue me from all my pains. I thought he was my super hero.

However I remember getting annoyed with his fashion senses. He had only few clothes.
I don’t think he makes that much money yet. At one point I was idealizing his black socks. I thought they were just perfect. But one day, I saw a basketball pattern on his socks which groused me out.
I didn’t want to disrespect him so instead I started to compliment on his fashion senses.
One day, he wore these really ugly torn washed jeans, he looked really unprofessional. I would say, what you wear is what you are.
I was really annoyed by his clothes, I wanted to take him shopping and pay for all his new wardrobes.
I was annoyed that much + I was idealizing him too much.

I didn’t suffer from idealizing him though… I knew that I was just going through phases and he is just a human being. Anyways, I only have bad memories about my counsellor so I thought I should start venting before I go crazy. I know you guys are excited because everyone seems to be really interested in getting insight especially from client’s perspectives. My counsellor told me that I am the best for that.
I wish he was one of the members in this café and read everything I write because he really likes getting feedback. Oh boy… I miss him so much. What the F**** ????????

Actually I just remembered a few things about this topic.

I didn't just idealize my counsellor.
Whatever he told me, said to me, I did it.
I was so busy impressing him and I was burning out.

If he told me to die in front of him, I would have done it.

If he told me to be his dog, I would have done that too.

When he mentioned to me about having my own space so I can work, I almost bought the house.

I was like his puppet.
I think I enjoyed it cuz I was so bored being a housewife.

pathetic, pathetic, pathetic...

I couldn't believe when he said that he tried his best to help me and that's it!

I knew that he was more than that, but I guess I was wrong and I overestimated him.

He is a human being just like me after all anyways... so now I believe him that, that was his limit and that he can't help me any more.