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Timelines

R rioMember
After firing Handbag-T (because she tried to talk about shopping and other irrelevant nonsense for the majority of my sessions - especially how she wanted a handbag like mine... Nuclear WTF?) I have had a nice break from therapy and have just started again with a new therapist. I have only had a couple of sessions and already the difference is apparent. Wow! Smiler

Anyway, I have been briefly filling in the new T about my background. I am frustrated about how long this is taking as there are some very immediate and practical problems that I would like to focus on. But at the same time I feel like I want her to at least know about various things. We discussed journalling (time consuming, and not desperately practical for me right now as I am in and out of hospital and have lots of people in and out of the house to help me - so not really got the time to sit and write in detail, and wouldn't like to have such a document lying around while I don't have full control of my surroundings Roll Eyes ). In the end I just asked her why I didn't just write a list! She said a list would be fine, but suggested I think about making a timeline instead - that way the "gaps" (there are many!) would be as apparent as the "events".

I think it's a good idea and I'm going to give it a go. I suspect it might be rather triggering - either in terms of thinking about things, or in highlighting gaps. I find the gaps in my memory particularly scary. She did say that of course the idea is not to distress me further, and we could do it in session instead, but I would rather push ahead. I've done some googling, and apart from a whole lot of stuff about something called "timeline therapy" I couldn't find anything about the creation of life timelines in psychotherapy. I wondered if anyone here had any experience of using a timeline in therapy? Was it helpful? Thank you Smiler
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room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Hi Rio,

I actually have used a timeline before, and found it very helpful, just for myself. I have a rather long history in therapy, and in working with my current T, I kept telling her that this time just feels different, but couldn't explain more. Once I got the idea to map it all out, and use that as a visual for myself, I was better able to articulate to T why it felt so different.

I never actually shared the timeline itself with her, as it's rather a long and rambly journal entry, it has been a very helpful tool for me. And as things have surfaced in my memory, I've been able to go back and add them in. Mainly the events are therapy related, but I also included significant life events, as well, such as hospitalizations (my mothers) or surgeries I had, as well as milestones (big birthdays and life events.)

Hope this helps?
R rioMember
Hi R2G

Yes, that's very helpful, thank you Smiler

I've only just started having a go at it and I can see that it is going to be quite an exercise - perhaps even longer than a journalling exercise! But I like the suggestion of adding things to it when things resurface. There are a lot of blanks at the moment, and I can see how it could be used for filling the gaps as time passes. At the moment I am trying to decided whether to keep it for stuff I can remember, or also include stuff that I know about but have little/no memory of. Decisions...

The other decision of course is whether to share with my T or not. I have a break this week (for another hospital admission) so I have some time to think about that. I can certainly see how it would be helpful to keep the timeline to myself but maybe by the time next week comes around I will have changed my mind. We'll see Smiler

Thanks again for your help Smiler
R rioMember
Hi HG

I don't think there's any one answer as to "how" to make a timeline. I have started with my date of birth and ended with "now" (which is of course open ended!) and started off by marking off "big things" that are not really associated with any upsetting emotions. So I put in the dates of my younger siblings' births, when I started preschool, when I started school etc. (If you put life timeline into google image search you can see some nice illustrated ones that people have made to give some ideas).

I'm using it to put together a brief synopsis of my life for my new T. I think R2G is using it more as a personal tool (correct me if I'm wrong!) I think, depending on an individual's background and the level of detail that they want to put on to it, that it could be distressing and triggering to do at home. (Although perhaps no more or less triggering than thinking about personal history is in general, or journalling... I don't know. Everyone is different. My T did say when she suggested it that I should see how it went and if it was to upsetting to stop and then we could discuss it and either continue it in session or decide not to complete it).

From what R2G has said, I can see that I would probably like to keep it as a work in progress - and fill in the gaps in the timeline as and when we work on them in therapy. I have now started to mark on the rough dates for the first time various things happened, and whilst it is not exactly a relaxing exercise I am finding it strangely grounding to see things put down chronologically where I can see them at a glance. I feel less muddled somehow. I can see however that this may not be the case for everyone, but for the moment I am finding the exercise very useful (and will need to buy more paper!!)
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Hi All,

Yes, I actually do use it as a personal reflection tool. I too, have the major life milestones and birthdays and such on it, and anything I could recall from memory. I then went a little deeper and dug through my journals from adolescence through about 5 years ago (bad idea, really, really bad idea - took a good few weeks with T to get over what I read - I was one sad kid!) to look for major events. These events actually were helpful to share with T, as they gave some pretty powerful insights to my behaviors.

From there... well, I just add to it as things happen - I'm trying to add more positive moments now, too, instead of just the negative. I'm actually contemplating starting a second timeline that is just for positive growth - kind of record the good stuff when it happens Smiler

Honestly, though, I don't think there is a wrong way to create a personal timeline, so I say, just give it a go, dip your toes into the shallow end and see what you end up swimming through!

Hope this helps a little?
starfishstarfishMember
I've done several timelines, it was really helpful for me at the start of my therapy when memories were being uncovered and came all of a jumble and I was having trouble sorting them. We plotted them on timelines as they were and it helped to put it all into place. It also helped me come to terms with the enormity of what had happened Frowner

Do let us know how you get on,

starfishy
R rioMember
Thank you all for all your thoughtful replies Smiler

DF, it's funny that you mention EMDR: this is what my T has suggested that we use. I have a lot going on right now outside of PTSD stuff (chemo cycles and associated hospital admissions mainly), and the idea is that kicking off with some EMDR will help neutralise some of the more physical trauma symptoms and make me "feel better" (we would obviously have to go back to difficult stuff at a later date!) I actually felt uncomfortable with jumping straight into EMDR without her knowing at least the skeleton of my story - hence the timeline.

RTG, I really like the idea of adding current things - good as well as hard! No matter how difficult things get, if I try hard enough I can usually find something to be thankful for and those things are just as important to record. So thank you for the idea!

SF, I can identify with every part of your post, thank you.

So far, I have put in the "normal" landmarks (birthdays, graduations etc) and I'm now starting to add in some more details. I'm amazed by how effective it is as a tool for one detail leading to another. It is a very powerful process, and I understand why my T suggested it might be best done in session. For now I'm going to press on, but there are certain things that I will stay well away from (and leave to be tackled in session!)

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend Smiler
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
I'm with you DF - even though I trust my T pretty completely, handing a T an envelope and asking them not to open it? Yeah, that's like telling them "here, do your job, but don't look at this, even though it will likely help you do your job." Nope. I'll hold onto it till I'm ready to share, thanks. Big Grin

Would it be possible for you to bring it with you to T and just talk from it? Not show it to T? That way you could share only what you could handle at the moment, and not all the details? I know that when I bring a letter to T and she asks me to read it to her, I tend to skip over parts I don't want to read aloud. Whereas when I hand it to her, there is no skipping nothin'.

I understand the power thing too, it's hard once you know your T has "got you" cause there is very little you can hide at that point. Safety in the unshared documents is sometimes my only "tool" to hide. I've even brought in a letter with the intention of reading/sharing it, only to keep it folded up in my lap the entire time. Love the look I get from her when that happens!

Whatever you decide, the decision will be the best one for the moment. And if you change your mind later, that's ok too.
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
((((DF)))))

It's almost as if the buildup to sharing the time line was so strong and so powerful, that anything else time-line related won't have that same feeling of... maybe satisfaction? Don't think that's the right word, but it's all I can find right now.

I tend to over intellectualize when I redo things, to the point where my T has repeatedly asked me NOT to edit the journal entries I share with her, because I edit out all the feeling. The more I read over an entry or a letter I plan on sharing, the more concise and edited it becomes, and she's right, all the feeling and emotion hits the cutting room floor.

Maybe, and I've done this a few times too, you can give it to her and ask that it be discussed later? That way, the emotional build up and release from handing it over can settle a little, and you can discuss it when you're a little clearer? (though the emotional piece might be a good thing?)

Your T will be supportive no matter what you decide Smiler

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