Jill, I'm glad my post gave you a bit of a laugh
And I didn't mean to give you any after-taste, unless a good one

I actually think that you should tell her what you think and if she keeps annoying you, just get mad at her.
My T says that getting mad at him would do me good, but I am ot quite able to be angry at him since he is soooo perfect.

i don't know that she is trying to provoke me, i think she is still trying to earn my trust. but maybe. regardless, she DID, and i WILL bring it up. maybe i will ask her IF she was trying to provoke me. THAT IS THE REAL QUESTION?? hmmmmmmmmmm....that would be interesting, will be, as i WILL ask her (if i don't forget, in my stupor coming in there and feeling so stupid to be in therapy about 'my mommy being mean to me'...)

i gotta NOT run, though, as i am so apt to do, gotta fight it out, or, as she is trying to hint with me, learn to be f-ing ASSERTIVE. i hate that word too, right up there with BALANCE, COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING, all that crap that dangles out there for us to latch onto when i would rather stay in my foxhole, and i don't think it is because i am feeling sorry for myself (as i mentioned in other thread) i think it is coz i have found it to be safe. damn it. safe.

glad your t seems perfect. i don't think i ever let anything seem perfect, i am a nit-picker i guess, as i was 'nit-picked' to death by my mom, so now i do it FOR her.

is there ANYTHING you could up the tempo of anger with your t about, just to practice talking through anger?? i dunno, just a thought, jill

((good golly, would someone post something somewhere, as i am three of the four 'last posts'...i guess i DO talk too much!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anybody here??????????????? or are we all a bit spooked?????????? i know i am!!!!!!!!!!

Jill, I think there is no real question. The real thing is only how you feel and however difficult it is, that's what we are trying to follow in therapy. Our feelings.

quote:

((good golly, would someone post something somewhere, as i am three of the four 'last posts'...i guess i DO talk too much!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anybody here??????????????? or are we all a bit spooked?????????? i know i am!!!!!!!!!!

I know the feeling about not getting feedback. Sorry, jill. I highly doubt it is personal, but yes, I think some of us are a bit scared to post lately because we don't want to offend. I for one haven't known what to say on this thread because I've not really had the problem of my T talking too much for my liking. Usually I wish she would say more, so I can't relate. I have, however, wondered before if a few comments she has made were said to provoke me on purpose. She won't admit it though. The closest she has come is acknowledging her awareness that something she says might anger me, but that its not her reason for saying it.

Hello, Jill...sorry you were freaked. I've been out of the house all day...and when I'm home it is very hard to post for personal reasons. Also I too am a bit scared lately. That being said, my problem lately seems to have been not T talking too much, but me not being able to talk much. My last session was a complete bomb. I coulnd't speak at all, hardly, so he did most of the talking. Which was cool, I got a fair bit out of what he had to say. But it was pretty much agony, the whole time. Maybe I'll get brave, post about it, I don't know, instead of sitting here hijacking your thread! But, there have been times when he talked and talked, lecture style, and I wasn't getting a word of what he was saying, really. TOTAL space cadet! So I get you...and that can cause a lot of anxiety for me as well. Best thing to do is probably pipe in and say, er, dear T, will you please let me get a word in edgewise? Especially if you actually WANT to! You go, girl!

BB

MH, i wasn't ranting for someone to answer me here, but i appreciate your answer, i was more ranting that of the four discussion groups in the general area, i was the last poster, and i was feeling like i talk too much!! more being funny, than asking for an answer on this one thread. but yes, what you said about provoking you, your t, sometimes she says something that might anger you...hmmm, that is not her reason for saying it. i guess she is innocent but being truthful, so, sounds fair to me.

mine today, when i confronted her, amazon, is she thought it might be 'all of the above' when i listed out the reasons for why she would say that to me, including 'it hurt coz i felt it was true', to 'she is trying to provoke me to see if i will be assertive' ... so, i guess she maybe did try to provoke me. i dunno, whatever, i am a bit less 'glowing' right now on her. alot of talk, still, but some weird stuff too, with her purposely trying to get me to dissassociate and then pulling me back to the here and now. i really felt so good being 'away' i didn't want to come back. my intellect was trying to obey her, but my 'gut' wouldn't come back, and would SO READILY go away. interesting, kindof left me shell shocked the rest of the time. the strangest stuff.

bb, if only i could be assertive enough to say what you said 'get a word in edgewise', i would wrap that in so many apologies that the point would be lost. she said i need to quit apologizing, which i proceeded to apologize for doing....y'no, like you, sometimes i get alot out of the 'stories' they tell, but then, i just felt like she was letting me hide behind them. thanks for your thoughts!!

onward through the fog. she did say i was 'profoundly' affected, so, whatever on the feeling sorry for myself bit. kindof in a flip off mood right now, so i oughta quit posting. thanks mh, bb and amazon for asking!! xxoo, jill

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