what helps you go to therapy when it is something you are dreading or scared about or overwhelmed by or just plain not wanting to go, and yet know for sure it is a good idea to go... what helps you to go?

struggling w this right now for my appointment later today, and it comes up on and off for me at other times

jd

Hi Jane,

I've struggled with this in the past, especially with my previous two therapists. I would actually bribe myself - if I went to my appointment and got there on time, I'd treat myself to something special on the way home - dairy queen, starbucks, french fries, etc. If I dawdled so that I was late, but still went, I'd treat myself to a piece of my favorite candy (smaller treat, but still a treat!)

I actually have to still do this when I go see my family - I need that dangling carrot to get through the rough patches...

What really helps me is to think that I'll be home again in no time. When I go see T I'm gone for not even 2 hours, about 40min in traffic, one hour session and the rest is waiting and leaving.
So I think "you're only there for an hour, the rest of the time you're distracted and won't care about anything anyway". I like being in traffic because I have to concentrate so hard so I can't really think about anything else.

Treat is definitely in also. If it is really bad, I can't eat from all the anxiety so when I get home from session I eat whatever I want.

Well, telling people who will so, "Nope, you shouldn't cancel" sometimes helps. I tell H and close friends that I just don't want to go and they remind me that it's so important, even though it's hard.

So, I will tell you here, "I know it's so hard right now, Jane, but it's important to go see your T and it will be OK." (sorry if I'm too late).

Also, just riding out the cancellation period helps, as I don't want to spend $125 for nothing at all.

What helps me is knowing that I don't have to talk about anything I don't want to do, and if there is something I need to say but am worried we are going to spend a bunch of time on it, I can tell my Ts that I am about to tell them something but I only want to spend 1 minute (or whatever time limit feels comfortable to me) talking about it. They respect that and don't push me on it and there is a lot of safety in knowing that I can set those limits.

Another thing that helps me is knowing that I can end my therapy session at any point, if necessary.

What helps me is knowing that at least I can sit somewhere quietly for 50mins even if in silence, if it is a very bad day and I do not have to say anything if I do not want to and that T is happy just to be there with me

hi jane,
what helps me go is that i know there's a part of me that will really regret it and be upset if i dont go so i have to do it for her. also, if i dont go it means i have to call first to cancel - which i would find very hard, so in some ways its easier just to go.

if there's something really big and scary and overwhelming that you aren't ready to face yet, you don't have to do it all at once, maybe just start with very small steps. you have started already because you acknowledged there is something there. hope it goes well for you!

puppet

thanks everyone so much!!! I will have to come back and respond more later (hard a little too sore right now) but reading this is really really helping me this morning as I get ready to head out to see my T. THank you!!! \
jane

just wanted to update: I went to my T appointment and it went very very good! yay!!! thanks again everyone

(will write more later)

You know what get sme going?

I am cheap!

If I don't cancel my app't with 48 hours notice I still pay for a session. I pay $100.00 per session and have no insurance coverage.

Even if I avoid the subject for an hour I still go and talk about other things.

CNC