Hi everyone. I'm glad to see a lot of old "faces" again!

So, here's the thing. After working through the stuck phase, I met with my T a few weeks ago and he has suggested that because I have been working so hard in my therapy, and have covered a lot of ground, we should perhaps take a break and see how it goes. I'm thinking that I really don't know what to think about this and I have told him so, and he says that it's not quitting, it's just a break and I can come back anytime, but it really doesn't feel very good. He says that it's up to me, but yet, we still seem to be wrapping up things and I'm really uncertain. The rational part of me thinks yes, could be a good thing, but the other part of me (the one with the abandonment/rejection issues) is thinking what the...
I'm really confused and scared about the whole thing. I'm not sure about going it alone just yet.

Any suggestions? Anybody else "taken a break"?

MP

[QUOTEThe rational part of me thinks yes, could be a good thing, but the other part of me (the one with the abandonment/rejection issues) is thinking what the...
I'm really confused and scared about the whole thing. I'm not sure about going it alone just yet.
MP[/QUOTE]

Hi, MP, It seems that maybe you should tell your T directly that his suggestion, and the thought of taking a break is bringing up these feelings of abandonment/rejection. It is really scary to even think about taking a break, so I can just imagine how you must feel.

Your T probably is trying to push for independence, and took a look at where he felt you were at. Bcause you felt safe, those feeling of fear of the abandonment/rejection might not have been at the forefront before he brought this up this idea. Perhaps after he sees and hears how distressing the thought of a break is at this time, he will see that these are issues that you can face together with more time.

whereami

Hi MP

I'm having a similar situation with my P that Summer had where the question "Are we done here" or "I think you've gotten what you needed from me" have come up. When she lays this on me I tell her that no we aren't done, and remind her of the bigger pictureof why I think I'm there and what I still need her help with. I have huge abandonment issues that we have ony touched on and she knows this, so maybe she is in a gentle way trying to probe me to talk about them.

If you aren't feeling 'ready' to take a break, don't do it. Explain to your T how you are feeling regarding not being ready to go out on your own yet. If you are siding more with your rational part .. then consider spacing your sessions out, skip a week between sessions, then 2 then once a month and so on to get a feel for it. I dunno - but when it's time for me to stop going, that's what I'll have to do.

Just a thought

Holz

Thanks for the comments everyone.

I met with my T this week and took your suggestions and spoke with him about my fears and concerns about taking the "break". He was very understanding about my feelings and said that he felt I was more than ready, but that if I needed time, that was fine too. The supportive comments that he gave me were really helpful and I could then see what he was talking about (regarding the break). He also said that it would happen over time, not just this is it... see you. That too was a relief.
I guess I just got a little freaked out at the thought - which I think is totally understandable.

MP

Hey MP,
I'm glad to hear that things went well with your T, and that he was able to put your mind at ease.

Be well!

Holz