quote:

Originally posted by QueenGrey:
He doesn't play sports (not even as a teenager, he doesn't really drink and likes making sculpture. I would never, in a million years, consider him unmanly. I've worked in and out of the theater for over a decade and worked with men who live and breath acting and not much else; again, very masculine. In addition, what women wouldn't want a man that has a job and is in touch with his feelings?

Good luck with your work ahead Joseph -- scary it will be BUT you will learn so much! It's always wonderful when you begin to shift your perspectives.

Well, like I said, I didn't mean that those qualities make a man manly, I was just saying that is makes it difficult when socializing with men I don't know. It makes me feel different.
And I learned about women liking men in touch with their feelings. I've cried in front of about 3 different women over the last few months and 2 of them loved it. My friend thinks it's great and an acquaintance of mine loved me for it. :-) I guess I should cry more often, it would make me a chick magnet. LOL!!

Talking to a psychiatrist has been very interesting. It brought up lots of things that have bothered me over the years. Not sure if any of them relate to my transference. I am starting to believe that the only reason my transference happened was because I was really scared of seeing a chiropractor (I now know there is nothing to be scared of, but at the time, I didn't know what he was going to do to me) and I was desperate for someone to help me get rid of my back pain. I was very upset that I still had pain after seeing 2 physical therapists. The chiro was great at relieving my fears and making me feel comfortable. And even though I cry over him, I wouldn't change one minute of it. He was wonderful and I thank him for it all the time. Anyway, I think I am slowly getting better and time will heal me. At the moment, I don't have any future visits planned with my psychiatrist. I have to let him know how today goes. I am so nervous about going to a gym that I haven't had much time to think about my chiro appointment. I guess that's a good thing. I'll post more later.

Just wanted to update everyone on how I am doing. As of this week, I have to see my chiropractor every other week instead of once a week. Naturally I cried about it. I am getting better, but it still hurts. I miss him terribly but I do realize I have to get over it. I can't see him on a regular basis forever and ever. I joined a gym 2 weeks ago so that is helping to distract me. I am very dedicated to losing 20 more lbs so I don't think about my chiropractor as much as I used to.

JNYC- I'm glad the gym is helping. I hope you successfully transition to the new schedule with your C. Keep us informed!

-CT

I'd like to think I am doing better, but I am not sure. I still cry over him and at times it feels less intense and other times it feels the same. All I know is that I am still confused. I know the psychiatrist told me that I am not in love with my chiropractor and that it just feels like love, but sometimes I think I do really love him and I think I cry because I've never felt this way about a man and it confuses me. And the worse part is that it is a man I cannot have. But then I think about it and I've never been aroused sexually during our sessions and I've never fantasized about him so then I talk my self out of thinking it is real love. I just don't know what to do to get over this. I just started working out so I am hoping it distracts me more and more as time goes on. I start with a personal trainer on Sunday so I am hoping that will help even more.
Thanks for asking everyone. I appreciate it.