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Hi all.

I had my session and my T said I was selfish, self-centered and I sometimes with little bit too much self pity ,and "bossy" (dont know if this is the right word) on my T time . just because I want weekly sessions,,

oh gosh I don’t know how to take this but to be hurt . I know there are long waiting lists and therapist have much work and so on. And my T said I was to dependent on my T , I was seeing my T 1 week and sometimes short mail between sessions, I am doing well, but now I feel horrible, I said if we could meet then for 30 min 1 week he said 20 minutes , but that’s just next 2 sessions to 2 weeks, he had just too much to do , that he could just see me every 2 weeks, I am just confused , I am really not with self pity I am working school and all that , I just don’t understand this.
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Anna, I am floored that your T called you selfish and self-centered! That's unprofessional and nontherapeutic. And I agree--wanting to go in each week is normal. More time than that between sessions tends to indicates the therapy is winding down, in my experience, and whether you are ready to wind things down emotionally does not seem to me to be the therapist's call. To me, that is like another person trying to tell you when your stomach is full.
I hope this is resolved in a positive way for you.
Thanks for your replys, I did ask 2 of my friends if I am really selfish , in self pity and self-centered , I did ask them to be honest with me and they said I was this not, .. I am so confused about this; my T told me 4 weeks ago I was doing really well and so on... So I really don’t understand. Can it be my T regret to continue to see me in his private practice from the health clinic? Frowner
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I am floored that your T called you selfish and self-centered! That's unprofessional and nontherapeutic.

What Exploring said. EXACTLY!!

I am really sorry you were on the receiving end of his most obvious unprofessionalism. It's cruel.
I can say that if my T told me those things I wouldn't even want to go back.

I also concur with what other posters above said - many like to attend sessions weekly and do.

I don't see any indication that you are what he said - and you have that validation from others irl.

Again - I'm sorry this happened Frowner . I'm so appalled and angry for you.

((ANNA)) What a bummer Anna, I'm really sorry for how you are being treated by your T. It seems like your T is just to busy, probably really overwhelmed with his Client/Patient load. But that is know excuse for your T to treat you that way. You said that your T said he is just to busy to give you more time, so if he is to busy for you, than to get the care you need you may highly consider looking right away for another T. You deserve a lot better care, and more respect. He must really be stressed out to speak to you the way he did. When you leave a session, you should not ever feel disrespected or put down by the T. I hope you have some more options to choose a more empathetic T. Going to a 50 minute session once a week is pretty much the norm. Keep your head up high, and don't settle for less.
I have come a long way from when I first started to see my T , my T said I was sometimes to aggressive to have a sessions 1 week when I knew there were waiting lists of people to see my T in the clinic, I have gotten much better I have like I said come a long way and have taken charge of my health and life of my own , I am working but sadly I have been bullied in my work and finally the bosses are doing something about it after some years and it’s very hard these days and next few weeks , there are witness to this behavior towards me and I am so sorry if feeling low and no energy that is self pity , in my work have 4 people quit because if this person but I am still fighting and I just did not need to hear this in this moment,


I told him that sometimes it has been hard to come and see my T and I thought that was good that I am still seeing my T. My T said “well that’s up to you what you do and if you come or not” gosh I was so shocked usually when I say something like this my T says something like you are doing well and I am proud of you. And my T said “That you are sometimes stuck in self pity and you think no one has been through what you have been through and no one except you is feeling like this “ … I want to point out I know people are in worse place but me, but I thought I was working towards going out and getting better not feeling guilty that others are also feeling bad. I know that very well.
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I was wondering, have you thought about going back to the center where you met him and requesting a new T?


It has been long and hard road to go to build a connection with my T, Can it be he is just tired and took out on me. I really don’t want to give up. I want to send my T mail and say see you in 2 weeks. Instead this 20 min next week. I feel like I am forcing him to see me. And really don’t like this feeling. I am ok if it is every 2 weeks but just wanted some time to adjust to it and then find a way we both are ok with ,
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I could be totally off, but it sounds like maybe your T resents having offered to continue to see you in his private office? If so, that was his issue and he shouldn't have done so.


I am wondering that to . Sadly, my T has been there for me for a long time , And I am really not to depentend on my T , but this still hurts .

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