I think I might have thought that I saw one of my group leaders today at lunch, and I just about freaked out, wanting to hide in a corner. But it made me wonder, have any of you run into your therapists in public? If so, what happened? Did you exchange a hello? Or run for the hills like I nearly did?

I passed by my P in the grocery store. I about had a heart attack But we passed each other calmly and he smiled and nodded at me.

I've seen my P in public several times. I pretend he's invisible. We seem to pass in our cars a lot, too. It's a small city.

One time I was walking down the sidewalk with my kids (aka herding cats), checking my cell phone for messages, taking my sweet time walking across the entrance to a parking lot (not paying attention at all), and I looked up and there was a car patiently waiting for us to get out of the way. It was him. I scurried down the sidewalk.

We have never acknowledged seeing each other in public though. Not a word about it the next session. Is that weird?

I have never and think I would actually DIE!! I am really paranoid about it happening and think about it a lot, though it is VERY VERY unlikely. I think for privacy/confidentiality they are not supposed to initiate contact if they see us in public. My former T said if it ever happened, she would not come up to me, but if I wanted to come to her and say hi I could. Yes - that would be super comfortable.

I don't think that's weird, Echo. I bet he would have talked about it if you wanted to, but he just isn't going to be the one to initiate the conversation.

I never talked about that sort of thing with my individual T, but we had a discussion about it in group therapy, considering we're all on campus together and are bound to pass each other (at least the members). The group leaders said the same thing as your T, Seablue, that they would not do anything unless we first acknowledged them.

But it's so awkward! And I am horrible in awkward situations.

Hi Monte,

I was typing up my reply as you posted! But yes, being on campus is tricky. That's good that you were able to just go ahead and tell your T what you would do...very effective! Haha

Hi K,

Yep, once I was out walking in a public park with my husband and I saw her walking with someone (a family member?) in the other direction. I stopped in my tracks! The weird thing was I couldn't even quite recognise her, because a) it was so out of context and b) at that stage I hardly looked at her in sessions!! But she gave me a big smile and kept walking. I felt sort of weird, sort of rejected in a knee-jerk way but also relieved that we didn't talk. She never tells me any personal information at all, and I never want it, so I knew there was no way we'd have talked while she was with someone. She mentioned it lightly a couple of times, ('it feels weird, doesn't it?') and that was enough to help me feel ok with it, like it was real.

J

The first time I saw my T in public, I was his waitress at a restaurant I was working last summer. He was there with his wife and son. I did not realize it until I was at the table because it was almost dark and the tables were outside on a patio. I freaked when he stood to say hello - I actually backed up. He graciously sensed my intense fear, but I was stuck. I posted the details on a thread when It happened- and I will see if I can find it. The whole thing was overwhelming- as I was new to therapy and dealing with trauma issues.
We have so many occasions to run into each other, and we do- so now it would not be a big deal. (his office is by my mom's house, his house is very near where I waitress in the summer and he often goes there with his family,(see above), he snowboards- I ski, and we both swim at the YMCA, so it is bound to happen. Once we had a chat in the sauna. It would be weird if there were no one else present,though. It gets easier every time, and yes we talked about it in session. He said he would always take his cues from me and understand no matter how I decided to handle it, and he does.

- actually that was not the hardest.
The first time was the hardest- being the waitress for his family, and being surprised by it. Even that would be ok now, well- maybe not right now because of our disconnect, but in general- the more I see him out and about, the easier it becomes.

Behind you all the way Monte, no worries with most social situations and have met a few times when out, it feels fine......... but DEFINITELY not the sauna!!

starfish

Well- he is tall and skinny and I am short and a bit round, so neither of us looked like movie stars.

I don't know why it was ok, but it was- at least that time.

I went to the Y to swim laps, and he was already in the pool- did not see him at first, but then we both said hello- chatted for a moment and swam in different lanes of course. Sharing a lane (like people have to do sometimes would be weird- too close)
He got out, we said good-bye and I thought he left. I finished about 10 minutes later and headed for the sauna. Surprise surprise! He asked me if I was following him, and I said, "of course" (and no- if I knew he was in there, I probably would not have gone in)
This was not the first time we've seen each other at the pool.
Now - you know what IS weird! I get phantom random txts from him with no message. The time always shows 12pm the date is always 00/00/00, and when I open it- it shuts off my phone and disappears. I showed him one (as I was getting them about 3 times a week) he thinks it is weird too. The last one (this week) made it from NJ to Stratton Vt.

That's so odd about the texts, Helle. I just can't imagine interacting with my T in any place outside her office. It would almost make her seem (gasp!) normal.

Precisely!!!!!!

I've only seen my T once outside of her office but it was planned so I wasn't freaked out. I was selling some handmade crafts at a small fair and I invited her to come by and she did! She was actually there for a while and bought quite a few items but she didn't buy anything from me of course - I didn't really expect her to. It was nice that she came by we said hello and chatted very briefly and then she moved on. I appreciated her support but was so jealous of everyone else there that she talked to or purchased items from. Thankfully she came alone. I think it would be awful for me so see her with her family or friends.

Three times in one weekend. This has got to be some sort of record.

First at the outdoor market. There was a crowd, and he was far away enough, that I was able to pretend he was invisible and veer off in another direction.

Second time at MY coffee shop. I walked in, got in line, and realized he was right in front of me. I admit, for a split second I thought, "Run for the door before he sees you!!" but then realized that would be quite silly since he had probably already seen me coming in, and besides I walked all the way there, and walking somewhere else would have been very inconvenient. We smiled and said Hi, and then I had to pass him a minute later to get my coffee, which I lunged at as if it was a live grenade and I was protecting a room full of adorable orphans. He smiled and said Hi again like a completely normal person. I acted like a spaz. I'm talented that way. He had ordered breakfast, so after I got my coffee I only sat for couple minutes before I felt too uncomfortable and had to leave. So much for relaxing alone-time over coffee and the newspaper on Sunday morning!

The third time was in our cars. I had to follow him for a few blocks since we were going the same direction. I of course was paranoid that he saw me and thought I was following him.

Why is it that these chance meetings make me feel like a stalker?? Especially at the coffee shop, I felt like I was invading his privacy just by being there.