Hi AJB,
It is pretty much like what Wynne and River already said. It’s not something we do intentionally as if we don’t really want help. Of course we want help, but this is something we need to keep in check.

If you have a need you need to speak to it. You need to be honest and upfront with your T and understand that he is not a mind reader. I sort of thought that they were myself thinking “hey, they have all this training in reading between the lines, studying human behavior and body language. She should pick up on it.” Nope, not that easy. We have to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of confessing, a lot of identifying what we really feel and why, and exposing ourselves to the vulnerability of some of our most humiliating experiences in the hands of someone we know practically nothing about it. (No wonder we resist it.) Not to mention our feelings were often not allowed to be heard before. I can’t help but to think of that other thread “Ridiculous Feelings” because it is really very hard sometimes to know and name what we are feeling. I have a terrible time with that myself… I wonder if I am Exothalmic.
JM

JM
I WONDER THE SAME THNG!!
KINDA AGONIZING. TOMORROW'S WED. NO APPT, BUT AM ON THE CANCELLATION LIST. I REALLY WANT TO GO, BUT I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT CALL AGAIN!!!!! NOT EVEN TO ASK THE RECEPTIONIST IF THERE HAVE BEEN ANY CANCELLATIONS. JUST HOPE THERE IS ONE AND I GET THE CALL!!BUT I AM JUST SETTING MYSELF UP. WILL BE SOOOO DISAPPOINTED IF I DON'T GET IN.

Hi AJB,
I hate that “agonizing” feeling you describe. I think it’s a learning process that some of us go through. We WANT to prove that our old neg. beliefs are wrong, but we are actually expecting to be let down again. I am sorry this is so tortuous for you and I hope that you get a call of a cancellation soon. There is nothing wrong with you calling and checking, but I certainly understand that when you feel that you have stretched your neck out and haven’t received a reply it feels like a terrible rejection all over again. Who’d be foolish enough to keep doing something with that expected outcome? (SL) I know it really hurts. I have been experiencing the sting of rejection myself lately. It triggers the old beliefs that trusting others with my deepest emotions is a dangerous and hurtful experience that always proves itself eventually. Usually after you’ve fallen into a state of non-returnable vulnerability first. (I guess I know what I’m going to talk about in therapy today.) Anyway, I really do feel for you AJB, and I do understand how painful those feelings really are. I wish I had a magic pill, because I sure could use one myself.

Take Care and keep us posted. Your feelings are important here. We can still ride in the same boat even if our appts. don’t line up on the same day.
JM

awww. thanks alot jm. it really does help to feel understood.