Hey, just needing a place to vent about money issues that pop up in my head every once in a while. It seems to be a boomerang-type thing; I toss it aside but it keeps coming back.

My T is going to her vacation get-away location again this weekend. I'm not sure if she has a 2nd house there or if its just a time-share. Regardless, its where she goes to Play. Sometimes she takes some of her horses along (she has 7 of them) to go riding. She has a very nice 4-door Dodge truck to pull that big horse trailer. But this time she happened to mention that she recently bought 2 new Waverunners she is hoping to try out while she's there.

Now the battle inside heats up.

Rational Me: Its really good that T takes care of herself on weekends and relaxes so that she can be refreshed enough to be there for me during the week when she returns.

Pity Potty Me: I wish I could afford 2 new Waverunners! I can only dream about it. I bet I've paid her enough in therapy in the past year that I've paid for one of those Waverunners! The least she could do is let me ride it one time!

Rational Me: It wouldn't be a vacation for T if YOU went along! YOU are who she needs a vacation from!

Pity Potty Me: True. But does she have to rub my nose in it by telling me about it? And what about the fact whenever I lament how our relationship isn't real because I PAY her to be here for me, then she gives me the sob story about how she has to pay the office rent and the receptionist and other bills, blah blah blah, and sorry that she can't provide therapy for free. AS IF SHE IS HURTING FINANCIALLY. Give me a break! Her house is a freakin' mansion! Who knows what the vacation house is like?

Rational Me: T worked long and hard to get through her schooling and training to where she is today. She said her first job after she received her graduate degree only paid her $13 an hour! Besides, if you were the T, would it be worth it to put up with you twice a week ALL YEAR LONG just for the chance to ride jetskis a few times each year? Who's getting the raw end of the deal here?

Pity Potty Me: Fine. Take her side!


Just wondering if anyone else has conversations with themselves like this?

Sorry MH, I know that this is serious and I can understand why it upset you. The conversation was funny to read though because I have conversations in my head all of the time.

My T is not wealthy by all appearances, though I expect she's probably doing okay. I know that she brings in a good bit of revenue just seeing me and I'm certainly not her only client (in my fantasy I am, but I digress ). I know many times my T has mentioned money being tight over the years. She's a widow and lives alone and I know she doesn't live in a mansion. She seems to be very frugal actually, but she certainly has taken a few nice vacations over the past year or two and I've heard about many others that she's taken. Because of our outlandish medical expenses (more than just mine) we haven't gone on a vacation in about 8 years now. We don't do anything extra actually because we can't afford it.

I don't worry that T does have nice vacations. I'm happy that she can afford them and has persevered through all she's had to deal with to make a nice practice for herself that affords her enough to work with that she can afford to take a vacation. I'd imagine she'd get pretty cranky if she couldn't!!

However, my H was nice enough to point out before T's last vacation that her offer to see me on a Saturday wasn't because she was trying to help me, but rather to pay for her vacation. Needless to say that did get some conversations going in my head similar to yours.

Oh, I am smiling now so its okay. Cuz I went away for awhile to take the kids to a parade and then I've been working on my homework. And then, pleasant surprise, when I found my way back here just now there are some very nice replies from my friends Deepfried and STRM. And I think all I needed (for this go-around, anyway) besides being able to air the conflict, was to be understood. So thanks, guys!

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