JM,

I wonder how often Ts do this because they want us to vocalize our needs, and how often they do this 'cause they're hearing what they want to hear.

JM

Are we seeing that sense of humor starting to slip out just a bit? Oh yeah, I can see it! It's lookin' good!

PL

quote:

OK AG...now you're starting to _sound_ like my T!

What a lovely compliment JM!

Hey, respect the closet! I know its a mess but I know how to find everything in it.

(OMINOUS MUSIC) Including the HTML slapper, so behave!

Wynne,
I think sometimes its a combo. I think when a T is overloaded and trying to get a lot done they're just as prone as other people to take a surface answer at face value if it makes things easier. What we should probably be impressed with is how well they CAN look below the surface when they're applying themselves. Communicating with my T outside of therapy can be a disaster (I'm going through appt hell even as I type) but in session, I swear it's like the man can read my mind. Sometimes he knows what I'm thinking before I do.

Hey, speaking of Ts (like we talk about anything else ) How goes the search?

AG

Oh, alternate funny answer! (You always think of the best lines too late!)

You just don't like the closet because I can find the HTML slapper and you can't! Nah nah!

(I didn't say it was mature!)

Wynne, I was wondering the same thing. But she has warned me that she cannot be as attuned to me over the phone even though she says she'd like to be. But how much is it that she is waiting for me to vocalize my needs I wonder, but if it is deliberate I think it's cruel to do over the phone and when they know how much we depend on them for a brief connection and reassurance. So I sorta think she just has to make herself trust her clients to say what they need to say over the phone and she will pick bones and analyze in session to beat a dead horse.

PL, I suppose a little humor is returning. You think that's really a good thing though? LOL My heart is still aching though.

AG, I always save the best for last. AND
Aw gosh, how cute, they're all in sync! LOL

JM

All kidding aside, I know the ache is still there. For me, it is always just below the surface. But, anytime we can get even a short break from it and a little relief, is hopefully a time when we can see that it is all worth it. It isn't easy, and sometimes we feel like someone chewed us up into bits and spit us out, but getting to the bottom of all our issues has to be wonderful. At least I keep clinging on to that thought, so that I have a reason for letting myself go through so much pain.

I don't think your T deliberately shined you on. I know that my T really tunes into my body language and seems to know how I am feeling before I even open up my mouth. That is hard to do over the phone. Hopefully you will have a really good session on Wednesday and you will feel some relief.

PL

Well, guess who just called me a few minutes ago to tell me she had a cancellation for tomorrow? You'll never guess in a million years.

Dilemma: I accepted the appointment so quickly that I forgot to realize that it is not as urgent as it was this morning and now I almost feel like talking about it will be futile. It sure didn't feel that way yesterday or this morning, but now the feelings calm down and as I always do I tend to question the significance of what I was feeling and minnimize them until they rear their ugly head again. It's like you say PL, it is always just below the surface anyway. So now I wonder, should I go or call her back and cancel? Why should this be so complicated?

Ever notice that Transference starts with T? It's also a 4 letter word x 3! (unless I spelled it wrong) AAAGH!

quote:

It sure didn't feel that way yesterday or this morning, but now the feelings calm down and as I always do I tend to question the significance of what I was feeling and minnimize them until they rear their ugly head again.

JM

Can I ever relate to this!!! I have been having my ups and downs this weekend and I have almost called my T about 10 times. But then I think, what can she do about it over the phone anyway? And, she'll probably think I am just overreacting. Truth be told, I know she would be understanding and tell me that I have every right to be anxious. But, I always have that little fear of what she thinks of me. We have had that conversation many times so she knows. We will probably have that conversation tomorrow I suspect.

I think you should go tomorrow. What you have been feeling is very significant and very painful. Your T cares a lot for you, and she must have sensed that this is a big deal for you. Otherwise, she would not have called you when she got a cancellation. That's just my 2 cents. You have to do what feels right for you. Hope it all gets better quickly.

PL

1. I should have never started therapy- it hurts and its confusing and I want it to stop. I am stuck in hell?????

I am glad I started therapy, because I am stronger than I was. Hold way more knowledge/understanding than I had...=) I am strong and smart and can get through this.. I am not a quitter and there is NO going back! I am working my way OUT of hell



2.I wish I never met my therapist- because the fear of loosing her scares me to death!

I am SO happy/thankful to have her, because she is a great guide and she lets my find my own way. She doesn't show me the way, because she doesn't know MY way anymore than I do! Only I have the answers.... Everything happens for a reason! I am learning about transference and PTSD ect ect within this relationship. I have also taken out some toxic people from my life..


3.I wander if my therapist is bad or if I am the bad one

My therapist didn't ruin my life or make me feel all these neg. feelings. I have had them long before I have known her. I am glad I have to her help me work through it and understand it... No one is bad.... the people who hurt me are bad!



4.Did my therapist/therapy ruin my life....???

Nope my life was like this WAY before I met her or started working on this bull crap...