I dream about my therapist a lot. Sometimes she is a teacher, once in a while its a bad dream about her. I like it when we dream about her and I always tell her about it, she thinks some of the dreams are funny.

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My dreams lately haven't repeated, but they all kind of have the same theme. Most of them involve a man that has control of me or has trapped me and I will die/he will kill me if I don't complete certain tasks.

Sounds like we are in the same dream, Kashley. Just a few days ago I had yet another one where a man was stalking me -- a man that I knew had been in my life before somehow, but whom I had fled from -- but he was a serial killer and had found me again. It was his pure wish to control me in every way, and ultimately kill me. In the dream he killed my son by strangling him with one hand right in front of me. Then he dropped him to the floor and came walking menacingly toward me, as if to say, "You're next..." What is even more sad is that my T was aware the serial killer had found me (because I had alerted her) but I realized she could do nothing to rescue me, that she was powerless against this monster and would become a victim herself if she tried.

(((MH)))

I've had dreams like that with my T in them too. There is a really bad person hurting me and T is there and he's going to hurt her too. I hate those!!!

Okay so try this on! I had this dream Monday night after a session in which I felt like no matter how hard I tried that I couldn't convey what I was feeling to T. I never dream about pay phones...ever. It's always my home phone. After the dream I copied what I found on a dream interpretation site which normally I would throw out as bunk, but I thought the meaning was freakishly on target.

The dream:
I was driving but I was alone and stuck on the passenger side and the car was out of control. It was going really fast and was going to crash. I managed to get to the floor where I could hit the brakes and only lightly crashed into a tree. The car wouldn’t work and I realized that I had left my cell phone at home. To make matters worse, I was on my way to see T and so I tried to find a pay phone to call her and tell her that I wasn’t coming. The pay phones wouldn’t work. Every time I tried to call T either it would be disconnected or the phone would just be dead and not work at all. I went all over trying to find a phone or a way to call T and I couldn’t find one. The last pay phone I tried couldn’t get through to her, but it rang so I answered it. It was my mom. I told her I was stranded and in a really strange area and couldn’t find my way out or get in touch with anyone that could help me. She sounded exasperated, but said IF she finished more important things then she would come and get me but I would owe her. I said okay and hung up. I’m not sure if she ever did come, I woke up.

The dream site says this about pay phones:

To use a payphone in your dream, represents a message or advice that comes with a price. It may also mean that your communication with others is having a toll on you in some way, either directly or indirectly.

To dream that the payphone is out of order, indicates that you are being shut out. You are experiencing difficulties in getting your thoughts and feelings across. Or you are having difficulties connecting to others.

It also says that car crashes can represent a shocking or painful experience. I dream of car crashes a lot too.

Weird!

DF,

Maybe your dream means that you feel like you are finally being rewarded for all of your hard work, but because at your core you still don't believe you deserve good things then you saw other people getting a bigger reward.

The first one could be that you are showing a new part of yourself to T and allowing her in more so that you were allowing her to touch you, but also protecting yourself at the same time by being rolled up. You got what you needed and then rolled away and you were okay on your own again. Not sure why it would be a different T other than maybe because you want things to go differently with your T and have been struggling with that?

I'm totally guessing here and I hope I haven't assumed too much. Just thinking..err, typing out loud.

That is quite a dream DF! It strikes me that it is possible you are putting quite a lot of pressure on yourself to go to the gym a lot? That you would be rewarded with the money, you need/deserve from your efforts to heal... Maybe. Or at least, that things would be *fair.* I see the hedgehog thing (sorry to laugh but, aren't dreams funny? ) as the hope that you could just reach out and touch T, or T could touch you- and then suddenly be better. Too simplistic interpretation, maybe. cause I find my own (very occasional dreams) to be very simplistic. (mine are obvious, to the point of yawning) so sorry if I transferred that to yours, which seem much more complex, and open to lots of interpretations to me. Maybe, it's the hope and wish for an instant cure. The longing for that, and for fairness and justice. As we all wish for. Idk?? what do I know about dreams? nothing. total guesses. I guess those are just my thoughts, tkae or leave.

***triggers maybe***I had a dream the other day. This is a strange thing for me, to dream, to remember. I had a dream that I was in therapy with a strange T. And that all these totally repressed memories were uncovered. It felt so real. It was like "oh my gosh, that happened and now for this moment I can see it clearly!" They were really awful memories, like the worst, some guy..or woman I guess?) torturing me, dressed all in white. Then I woke up and was really, really confused about that! I think ti was just a dream, from thinking about therapy a lot ove the past couple years. I don't think it necessarily means that I have a lot of repressed memories or something. But gosh it *felt so real.* The memories, and the feeling of the memory within the dream felt so real. Totally weird and confusing! I had no feelings about it. It was just a dream. I didn't wake up scared or freaked or anything. I felt nothing. Or if I did feel, I didn't let myself feel it.

BB

DF, it sounds to me like it means you don't feel safe as far as confidentiality or anonymity goes. Or perhaps the safety feeling is related to things you have told DBT T about your ex that seem like too much info to have shared? Is that possible?