I had a very interesting session yesterday.

My T has refused to discuss any kind of diagnosis saying that it is not important what we call our problems it only matters what we do to manage and overcome them. I've saw his point and didn't really care.

Last week he sent me a link to a site on how to discuss depression with your children. While I was looking around the site I found a description of complex PTSD that resonated so much with me.

Changes in self-perception
This may include a sense of helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different than other human beings
((emphasis mine).

I have always felt like this and find it so difficult to describe. Strangely I feel a lot of relief after reading the description, almost like I feel relief that I'm not the only one in the world who feels this way, that maybe I can be helped.

Today on the phone I've admitted to my T that I had read this and felt like it described me (I couldn't speak about it last night in session) and he told me that yes it describes some of what I deal with.

Does anyone have any opinion on whether they think a diagnosis helped them either think about themselves or in thinking about treatment?

incognito,

I've often wondered about this. I don't have a diagnosis, either. I know that I have the right to demand that any T I'm working with tell me what they're putting on my insurance forms.

I've always rattled around in my head whether it's a good idea or not.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis for my son for years. For him it's a matter of a diagnosis bringing about more services, but sometimes I think it would make me feel better if someone could say, "yes, this is what it is."

But getting a diagnosis is hard, everything is so close and overlapping that trying to find one diagnosis can be very hard. PTSD, depression, ADHD, bipolar, RAD, autism, they all overlap. I can see where having a name to go along with what you're feeling can give you a place to start, a base to work from. And pinpointing it can make it seem more real, and not just like it's "all in your head." But I don't think it's important in getting the proper treatment, as long as the therapist recognizes the issues.

I've found that therapists don't like to diagnosis, while psychiatrists do because that's how they decide what medicine to try. I've had many of my son's Ts tell me they treat the behaviors and symptoms, and don't really look to the diagnosis to decide on a treatment plan.

I think if you can relate to PTSD, it's not important to have someone diagnose you with it. If your T realizes that it describes some of what you deal with, then he can help you without actually labeling it.

OW

One session this past summer, I demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me, and I didn't mean the horrific anxiety symptoms I was having.

My T told me that I was heart sick, and that I was thawing from 40 years of not feeling anything after having suppressed the anger and hurt of having an emotionally useless and neglectful father and a mother incapable of warmth my entire life. It made perfect sense to me as a diagnosis.

Russ

Incognito

I asked my T once what my diagnosis was and she said that by law she had to tell me.

I do have cptsd myself and it is incredibly painful. But to know that I have it has helped me to know how to approach my problems. There is a wonderful book by Dr. Judith Lewis Herman called "Trauma and Recovery" that address these issues. I cried when I read the book it was such a relief to know that someone understood what was happening to me.

Ingognito,
My T has said the same thing to me about diagnosing and labeling too. That managing them and overcoming them is what we need to focus on.

There seems to be a double edged sword in knowing a diagnosis sometimes. I feel like knowing what I have is knowing what I'm up against and it allows me to get educated and choose the best form of treatment. But knowing also puts a label on it and creates the stigma "see there IS something wrong with me!"

I think if you really feel like you need to know then your T should tell you, but you have to realize that knowing the diagnosis does not change anything for you or the treatment plan your T has developed for you. It doesn't confirm that you are defective, but that is how it may make you feel. I know I have CPTSD and I am sure there are other things that she has to send to the insuruance company that explain the codes she uses. We are also talking about a dissociative disorder and where I fit into that continuum. She only told me that because she knew that I would become suspicious of her questionings as she trys to determine that. So she mentioned a couple possiblitites but made it clear that this changes nothing about me. Whatever the diagnosis is it has always been there and doesn't make me defective and it does not define me, of which she worries about me feeling if given a label.

And HB, could be power of suggestion but that OD sounds like me too. My thoughts are a vicous cycle sometimes that I can't figure out how to stop. Last night on that other topic I posted (that I so wish I hadn't right now) I went right into an obsessive cycle and I am still reeling in it today. I do that about a lot of things without ever being able to accomplish anything with it. Like you said, a circle with no exit. Then again, when dealing with CPTSD and DDNOS it is probably easy to think of many disorders as being fitting. I've asked if I was BPD or bipolar and she said no, not at all. Not even close and I had thought I fit those patterns too.

Right now I wish I could just get off this merry -go- round.
JM

((JM)) I know how hard it is to get off the merry-go-round. For months, I have been going around on was my childhood really that bad or am I big whiner and while my T talked to me and posting here helped I still found it hard to let go of the feeling that it was my fault, that I was different than everyone else. For some reason, I felt better when we I saw the diagnosis. It may have no impact on the treatment but right now it has given me a little peace, maybe I will be able to work on healing without questioning whether there is anything to heal. I hope you find some peace off your merry-go-round soon.

Good luck to everyone finding there own healing path. I love being able to discuss things on this forum and appreciate all comments.

we got a diagnosis so we could ge some therapy paid for. but it were short term and we still there but paying for our own.

we had to go to a psycholgist for that. and i voluntered to talk to him! HAHA! brave me. actualy it were cuz him had a sandtray table i wanted to play in.

so once you talks to me, yep,you can't deny it! HAHA! but we ofically DIDNos cuz him don'tlike to put on DID.

samy

Thanks for the hug.

quote:

I felt better when we I saw the diagnosis. It may have no impact on the treatment but right now it has given me a little peace, maybe I will be able to work on healing without questioning whether there is anything to heal.

I get that too. A diagnosis can also be validating and help to uproot those negative and false beliefs we pound ourselves with.

I don't think you're a whiner at all. Whiners just whine and don't do anything to make themselves better. We cry because we hurt and we work hard to regulate ourselves and center ourselves so that we can have a better life and give our children a better chance than we had. Whiners don't do that. They just remain victims. We're survivors!

(((Incognito)))
JM

quote:

so once you talks to me, yep,you can't deny it! HAHA! but we ofically DIDNos cuz him don'tlike to put on DID.

Samy, Can you tell me why your Psychologist doesn't like to use DID?

I don't want to hijack this post, but sometimes I have so many questions I'd like to ask all of you. But I feel like I'd be jumping the gun because I don't know where I am at in the continuum yet and I need to just let whatever comes up come up and not focus on what it means yet. I don't want the power of suggestion to play into my behavior if you know what I mean. BTW, my T doesn't think I am DID, but she has not ruled it out completely either. We are in a discovery phase I guess you might say. And Samy, I don't know if how I will say this will be able to translate what I mean from my heart, but apart from "why" any other identities or egos "had to be created," I am happy you are here. I hope that makes sense.
JM

I had a fun back-and-forth with Tfella once when I was nosing about for a diagnosis.

He was listing off the issues I had, since I'd asked, and one of them was language issues - not having the language to talk about emotions (there's other posts here on that).

He asked me how the list made me feel - if I felt like it was off base, if I felt X, if I felt Y. I said, "Yep all of those." Him: "Right, but could you put it into your own words?" Me: *bigsmile* "Um...didn't you just say I was bad at that?" *he doesn't miss a beat* "Which is why you need to practice." Me: "_Nice_."

So, I'm sure it's just as well I haven't gotten some sort of official diagnosis. I think I'd run around with it tied around my neck wailing, "But see? I haz _problems_!" in a way that I don't feel justified doing now. And it's great to hear how some of your Ts have treated this - that it doesn't change who you are as a person, or how your T relates to you.

I'd like to be there someday.

quote:

I think I'd run around with it tied around my neck wailing, "But see? I haz _problems_!"

Hey Wynne,
I was thinking of something in the way of antoher t-shirt we could add to our collection of therapy forum fashion.

But you wear it however you want to. It's yours whenever you decide to own it. When it's justified and all.

Hey Samy I am glad you feel brave enough to be yourself here. I had a friend with DID and I saw how hard she struggled to get better but she did get better!! She is doing really well now!!

(((Samy)))

CPTSD stands for Complex post traumatic stress disorder.

I forget what DDNOS means.

Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.