MyShrink, Discussion forum for counseling effectiveness.
MyShrink Crisis Counseling Psych Cafe Counseling Community Making Counseling Effective Forum General Discussion Stories and Personal Accounts About Therapy I'm really struggling...
Psych Cafe Counseling Community Making Counseling Effective Forum General Discussion Stories and Personal Accounts About Therapy I'm really struggling...Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
Thanks so much for being so supportive. I had a problem in therapy and had been feeling VERY VULNERABLE. I was going on another support site and rather than getting re assurance I recieved neg feedback saying that my relationship was bad and so on and so forth. MEANWHILE I was just expressing the way I felt about my therapist. I wrote long letters to her telling her what I was learning and what I felt about our relationship. I have a lot of shame regarding attaching to people and so I doubt my therapist/I relationship a lot. Once I put my trust in them I see them as evil or out to get me.. and thats important to tell her.. I thought I decided to switch on this site, because people seem to be a lot more open minded and focused on transference which is what I am trying to work through. I guess I stepped up. Anyways... I will have to talk to my therapist about all of this.... About the fact that other people were saying transference was bad so I felt SHAME and I Was ashamed to be connected to her and shame about how I was feeling. I pushed her away along with everyone else... I still do worry about the mixed signals I have gotten from my therapist, but I also know I am percieving everything quite wrong right now. I am guessing if it is because when I was little I percieved everything quite wrong, because I was being abused.. I am debating on calling my therapist, because I feel sooo lost. I feel I have so much to tell her. Or maybe I should write a letter. Is that so bad??? I was making so much progress and opening up so much.. now here I am back at step one! Don't loose hope. When things go wrong you need hope the most! | ||||
|
thank you everyone for listening and being so supportive... I honestly don't feel like I have anyone who GETS it... But you guys DEFF seem to!! Don't loose hope. When things go wrong you need hope the most! | ||||
|
 |
TG85 I hope you understand that most of us on this forum have felt this. I've felt shame, embarrassment and just plain wrong about my feelings for my T. Just yesterday she told me that there are NO inappropriate feelings in therapy. I am struggling very much with the strong feelings that I have for her, and it is very difficult for me to express this to her. But, little by little I am SAYING it. She is patiently waiting for me to get it all out and I know darn well that she knows what I am feeling. She just wants ME to say it, and feel it. And every time I say a little more, she validates it and she doesn't look at me as if I'm crazy or disgusting or wrong. She looks at me with compassion and understanding. And that gives me the strength to take a few more risks each time I see her. It is not easy by any means. And yes, I fall into the pattern of thinking that she doesn't like me, or I'm making a big deal out of nothing, or I need to just grow up and get over it. Then she tells me that those are the critical voices of my past and I need to stop listening to them. Calling your T is a good thing. She needs to know what your needs are and she wants to hear them. If that is too hard right now then writing a letter is a very good thing. I went through a stage of doing that weekly. It helped me to get my thoughts out in a way that made sense to me. And it was helpful for her to know before my session, what was bothering me. Of course we still had to TALK about it, but she was better able to guide me in really getting it out. I thought at one time that I had gone back to step one also. But a friend who is also a therapist told me that even though it feels that way, you are only visiting step one and soon you will be moving on in leaps and bounds. She was right. So be patient with yourself. What you are doing right now takes so much strength and courage and you will definitely reap the benefits.  PL | |||
|
|
Summer Have you been listening in on my sessions??  I can't even count the number of times I've said that to my T. It is very frustrating, isn't it? For me, I think it is the whole thing about being in control of my feelings. Not letting anyone see a thought or feeling that they might perceive as wrong. (that is my own projection there) I'm constantly judging myself and expecting that others judge me the same way. My T is always asking me what I think she is thinking. When I tell her, she is always surprised and says that she wasn't thinking anything close to what I said.I KNOW that she is not judging me, but I still have those feelings that she MIGHT be. It is very hard to get past this, but each time you experience something that is not perceived the way you thought it would be, in other words it feels safer and not judged, you become better able to express yourself. You are not bothering your T, but you need to tell him that you think you are. He needs and wants to validate your feelings and show you that he really is there for you. I hope he gets better soon so you can work on this. PL | |||
|
Thanks!! That is very helpful!! I am trying to think of the hope rather than the negative. But I guess this plus all of the things in my life dealing with friends and my son and future. Everything is so overwhelming and insane!! I keep worrying if my T is crossing boundaries and that is why I am afraid to tell her stuff.. I am afraid she has bad intentions. I guess I am having trouble trusting myself and everyone else around me.. I think once I tell my therapist this.. I will feel a WHOLE lot better!!!! I am too scared to call her, so I think I will just write a letter instead!! Right now I really don't have support from anyone who GETS it... rather than support from you all. Its so confusing! Thanks again for the support! Don't loose hope. When things go wrong you need hope the most! | ||||
|
|
Summer That's where the conflict of KNOWING and FEELING comes in. I KNOW she is trained to not judge me, but I FEEL like she just might. She says it is more than how she was trained, it is her true self and she treats people inside her office the same as she treats people outside her office. I just have to overcome that fear of thinking she may be judging me. She knows that she needs to keep telling me over and over that she is being truthful with me. I KNOW that, but do I FEEL it?  PL | |||
|
| Powered by Social Strata | Page 1 2 3 4 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
© 2011 MyShrink.com
::
Suite 511-470 Granville Street, Vancouver. B.C. V6C 1V5 Canada
Webmaster :Digital Heights Interactive Illustrations, Design & CSS : Charlotte Lambert Custom Forum : David Montie
Webmaster :Digital Heights Interactive Illustrations, Design & CSS : Charlotte Lambert Custom Forum : David Montie