quote:

Originally posted by River:
How do you feel about your therapist determining the shape of your the new world?

I am absolutely fond of the idea. My T is an excellent role model for me. My mother was prone to depression and self neglect. My T is all about maintaining good health and exercise, and even participates in triathlons. I am glad that I found my T and I intend to absorb as much of her as possible.

River, great question! I remember reading that passage and feeling like I got hit between the eyes. It really made me stop and consider what I thought of my T. There are some areas, notably religion and politics, in which I suspect my T and I would have some disagreements (nothing specific, just what I've picked up from things he's said) so I really felt a need to consider this one. But upon reflection, I realized that while I know I have a tendency to idealize my T, he has some amazing qualities that I would definitely like to learn. I realized that I felt like becoming like him, having him as a template would be a good thing, especially because I believe he exhibits a really high level of integrity. But I'm glad the book brought it up, so that I consciously thought about it and could realize how he would be shaping who I was.

AG

Funny thing: my T hasn't read this book either. Maybe we should start calling around to the different psych schools and let them know that this book should be on their recommended reading list.

River,
Great idea! Just think how much good we could do!

I'll never forget my therapist's reaction to reading GTOL the first time. He was talking about how much he liked the book aside from the fact that as he was reading it, he was thinking, "$#!%, that's another book I don't get to write." This was even funnier because he hardly EVER uses bad language.

But I agree, I almost feel like it should be required reading for anyone going into therapy.

AG

there's another book we know of called 'The Five Love Languages". It's from a Christian perspective but relevent to those who aren't Christians also. The idea is that we express love in 5 ways, and 1 of those 5 ways is our perferable way of receiving love. Those are:
1. words of praise
2. gifts
3. touch
4. time spent together
5. hrm...

ok, can't remember the last one but you get the idea right?

Robin

Robin,

Great book!! I found it really helpful because my husband and I speak totally different languages. We kept trying to say "I love you" in the way that we hear it so it wasn't getting heard. That book really helped me to say "I love you" in a way my husband could really hear and value.

AG

PS How are you holding up with the insane schedule?

Hi Robin,

Sounds like another good book. I would like to look into it. -Thanks for sharing!

JM