I thought I'd update you all on the goings on of my therapeutic process. Losing OldT has been incredibly hard to handle. I miss her every day, and I have given myself the time I am going to need to grieve. I guess I've learned to be patient with myself.

The thing that I am frustrated by is that I have this strong feeling that my T's positive counter transference was what affected our work together. I have some insight on her feelings and I think it might have gotten too intense for her. I think the idea of her having such an intense reaction towards me makes me feel good. I feel like positive counter transference is better than negative. Too bad she was too inexperienced to deal with her own issues in our relationship and ended up only hurting me in the end. But, is it wrong of me to feel a little satisfied that just MAYBE she's hurting a little too because she got her own feelings wrapped up in this mess?

As for NewT. All I can say is WOW! She's pretty incredible as far as therapists go. I've been able to reach out to her a couple times now and she's been there. We've agree that twice a week seems appropriate, which makes things between session a bit more manageable to me. I'm not in a constant anxious state with her.This is definitely different than what I was in with OldT. She's very kind, and very intelligent. But, I have yet to find myself attached.

I'll update a bit more later--have another session this week and want to see how that goes. I have been laying low and kind of letting it all sink in.

Best wishes to you all!

Hi Brokes, thanks for the update. I was wondering how things were going for you with new T. When I started with my T after oldT I also did not experience with him that constant state of anxiety about the relationship. Maybe the grief was overwhelming everything else or maybe without the attachment I just was not so anxious. I don't really know why but it was a relief.

I hope things continue to go smoothly for you with new T. I like that you have discussed what you need to get you from session to session. My T always asks me what I think I will need when he goes away or I don't see him for a session. He makes sure to let me know to contact him if I need to.

Your T sounds really experienced and comfortable with working in the attachment area. I would say from what I've heard so far you are in good hands.

Hugs
TN