lizzygirl, I can identify with what you say. My T has the most awful couch ever. I sat there for the first few sessions and then moved to the only other chair in the room which is right across from him and much closer to him than the couch. Whenever I sit on the couch I feel like I'm sitting in a hole. It's just too saggy and old. Do all T's have such awful furniture? The couches in the reception area are even worse.

TN

My T too, has the bestest office and waiting room.
I just went to his real office for the first time this week. I had been going to his rented space office that he shares with other t's but this week, at a different location- his real office decorated by him- I think; is absolutely wonderful. It has everything I need.
I don't want ot go on and on, so I will post on the thread about the T's office. I have changed the time of my my appointment just to go to his exclusive office (not shared)

I said the same thing to T, "its like sinking into a hole, now that can't be therapeutic, we already feel like that" He said he would think about it.

Now my P has beautiful furniture, of course he makes the big bucks.

Nothing unique about the furniture in my therapist's lobby or office. It's comfortable. I don't get the sense that she is making a fortune doing what she does and that she struggles, as do I, just to make a living and prepare for the future.

She comes down a long hallway from her office to meet me, then I follow her back to her office. She stands outside the door to allow me to enter. Passing by her and through the door in that fashion makes me very uncomfortable. My issue. I like her very much as we have a lot in common. She keeps her eyes on me pretty consistently and only looks away when trying to gather a thought or remember a detail. I first started therapy for family reasons, thus sessions were not necessarily focused on me. Once those issues were resolved, I continued with therapy. It took me a long time to start to talk, and I seldom look her in the eyes unless I am talking about something fairly generic, or when she is saying something to me, as I don't want to miss anything. When I am trying to bring things up, I look almost anywhere but at her. I guess I am afraid she will look right into my soul. Again, when leaving, I have to pass by her.

Hi Koi!

Welcome to the boards!

I have to comment on this:

quote:

I seldom look her in the eyes unless I am talking about something fairly generic, or when she is saying something to me, as I don't want to miss anything. When I am trying to bring things up, I look almost anywhere but at her. I guess I am afraid she will look right into my soul.

I could have written this myself. I feel 'exactly' the same way with my T. Especially where you said that when you bring things up you look almost anywhere but right at her because you're afraid she can see right into your soul. I feel like that's just what my T can do when she looks into my eyes is see into my soul. I HATE THAT. It feels so personal and scary I just can't bear it, especially if what I want to bring up has to do with my relationship with my T. So hard...

Anyway, I look forward to more posts from you!

MTF

Very nice to meet you, Monte and More Than Fine. It feels good to find others who feel as I do. I am not even sure I would be able to speak about personal stuff if I were looking into my therapist's eyes.

Monte's comments about the small talk on the way to the office are on the mark too. It seems pretty counterintuitive to me that after she asks "how are you" and I answer "I'm fine, I then spend the next 50 minutes talking about why I am not fine. That's a laugh.

I'm not able talk to my therapist about the relationship. Those words don't form. I suppose it will be good when I can. I have a hard enough time pulling up things about myself while there.

Thank you for the welcome and the supportive reply. I look forward to future posts.

Koi

Hi Koi!
Welcome to the boards.
We have many smart intuitive and sensitive people here. In most situations, someone will be able to relate to your plight.

I never really thought about the small talk, but you are so right.

In my t's other office, the therapy room and the waiting room were connected- open the door and wa-la therapy room, but now it is down a hall, and I think around a corner, and I did notice the small talk thing. So much more uncomfortable at the end of the session, wow.
thanks for your insights!

Hi Koi and welcome,

Good to have you here with us

I love the small talk at the start of our session, we often have a 5 minute catch up on what's been happening outside of therapy, it sometimes relaxes me when I feel nervous and calms the 'want to run' urge.

Oh and she also always lets me in the door first

starfish

Hi All -
I have been lurking for quite some time now, but am now taking the plunge into posting...
I find this topic of body language very interesting and thought I would spin it around.
How do you think your T interprets your body language? I have major issues with eye contact, fidgeting, wringing my hands... Once T made a comment, 'Oh if only your hands could talk.'
I am sure T is constantly analyzing my body language, trying to figure me out (am nearly nonverbal most sessions), but I wish she would share her thoughts with me on what she thinks my hands are saying... 'cause I am not so sure myself.

Welcome Koi and FlamingoDomingo!

Yes, I know that my T watches my body language very intently. She works on a body level so keeping an eye on what subtle movements my body is making is part of the work that she does. She almost always figures out what I am saying without really saying it.

Hi Flamingo-
Glad you decided to join in. My first comment was yesterday and everyone was very nice and made me feel welcome.

I like your comments. I have been very nonverbal much of the time also. I just didn't know what to say. Sometimes I am very fidgety too. I worried that my silence made my T uncomfortable. She said once, "I know this is difficult for you", but she didn't press me to talk. She has been very patient. And she always tells me at the end of each session to come back whenever I feel like it. I appreciate that very much because I don't want to impose myself on her.

I am very aware of my own movement, but I too wonder what she is thinking as I trace the fabric design on the arm of her chair, or as my feet tap the floor, but she doesn't say. I talk more now. I am glad you spoke up.

Hi FlamingoDomingo

Welcome, and thank you for your comment. My T reads me like a book, sometimes annoying for me when I'm trying to hide my feelings (never works out!) but mostly helpful when words can't express emotions sometimes.

Enjoy posting here

starfish

Hi Koi, hi FlamingoDomingo!

Welcome to both of you - lovely to see new people here, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you both better. Awesome pictures, both!

See you soon,
Jones

Hi Koi, FlamingoDomingo -

Well, first, I have to say that I love both of your names. Very neat. Also, I too am very fidgety in session. Just the last session I was sitting there, staring at my hands that just kept moving and I couldn't make them stop. There's something about sitting still in therapy that gets me, and I don't know why. I rarely look at my T in the eye when I am saying something, and I only look at her about half the time she is saying something to me. Last session was odd though, because for a split second when I looked at her as she was saying something, I felt comforted looking into her eyes. Odd, but good - in a very scary way.

Great to have you guys here! I look forward to reading more posts from both of you.

Hey BB
Welcome back! How ya doin?
Glad to have you back!

I will have to ask my T if he reads my body language- really I have no clue. If he does, then I am not going to lay down on his big comfy couch in his big beautiful office that I just discovered. I thought if I did lay down, I could hear his voice, but not see his face, but that might mean something, so I won't do it.