Hi Mayo;

What I wouldn't give to have the option of not having T's face right in front of me. That must be quite a temptation! Let us know what you end up doing, if you do decide to try out the couch, I'm very curious to know how it makes you feel, if you don't mind sharing.

I'd bet my T reads my body language---it is very obvious how I feel by looking at me; I just wish I could say the same for his body language; I always assume the worst.

Hi OP, and everyone else.

I recently read a book about body language, yes I chose it because I was inspired by my T. I want to become an expert at reading him! I had most of the body language down but this book really expanded my knowledge. I felt proud of being so good at reading it beforehand though whenever I read something that made me go, "oh my ! I knew it!" hehe.

One thing I found helpful was learning about "clusters" in body language. My T has shown a few of them which reassure me that I shouldn't be thinking the worst. He has done the "face platter" combined with petting his own knee... which really turns me on usually. He's a very strikingly handsome man with sensitive, loving eyes. He generally looks like a very warm person.

Anyways,

My T and I stare into eachothers eyes @ every session. It is staring thru and thru. This means there are hardly any blinks, and what I find different is how well he can hold a stare. It makes me gulp very dramatically most of the time and then my mind goes in circles with, "how can he continue talking like this when looking so deep into my eyes?". It makes me very nervous but there's also a comforting feeling about it.

As for the body language here... my T will often play with his pen- putting it to his mouth or playing with it between his fingers. I read in the book that this is usually in conjunction with how men and women slip their rings on and off which means they want to have sexual relations with whom they are speaking to at the moment, or just wanting sex in general. It gets tricky.

My T hardly looks away. A few times I questioned his attraction towards me, if it even exists. I felt this way because he would do the hidden smile face. Also, when he brings up things that might make me react, he does this short smile when speaking of something... It reminds me of how I see children's mothers or fathers telling them, "well it's okay, you better be nice next time though, lovie". It is that sort of way... almost as if he treats me fatherly. Those are just the kid gloves, right?

When I crack jokes, he will look down and do a small laugh. Sometimes it makes me feel insecure about the joke I just put out there. Even more now that I read in this thread that it usually is a sign of dishonesty... so maybe he doesn't find me funny... and he does this to go along with how it makes me laugh. Hm.

It's all interesting, this body lingo, isnt it?. Love it.

Hi WTOH,
I won't see him until Wednesday, but I will let you know. I am going to ask him if he reads my body language, and what has he learned so far. (yea I say this so bravely now- but lets see what happens when I am in the room.
Tonight in yoga class I was imagining him helping me hold a yoga balancing pose, as he is on my mind. I am a bit worried. Yesterday was not a good day for me and I called my T and asked him if he would call me. He is usually good about that and calls when he is done for the night or if he has a break. Nothing though. I txt this morning, nothing, one more this afternoon- asking if he was ok, still nothing. I am ok today, but now worried about him. I have a weird feeling about it. Anyway sorry for hijacking the post. I will let you know about body language.
Mayo

quote:

Originally posted by Mayo:
Hi WTOH,
I won't see him until Wednesday, but I will let you know. I am going to ask him if he reads my body language, and what has he learned so far. (yea I say this so bravely now- but lets see what happens when I am in the room.
Tonight in yoga class I was imagining him helping me hold a yoga balancing pose, as he is on my mind. I am a bit worried. Yesterday was not a good day for me and I called my T and asked him if he would call me. He is usually good about that and calls when he is done for the night or if he has a break. Nothing though. I txt this morning, nothing, one more this afternoon- asking if he was ok, still nothing. I am ok today, but now worried about him. I have a weird feeling about it. Anyway sorry for hijacking the post. I will let you know about body language.
Mayo

Hi Mayo,
Wow, you and your T text and call eachother? Not to hijack the thread, but may I ask how this came to be? If you were brave enough to call and text, I think you will be brave enough to ask him straightout if he reads your body language and what exactly he has leanred from it. I wish to ask the same thing of my T, and also find a way to get him to help me learn about me through telling me what he finds with my body language.

One time I tried to get some info out of him... See, he is sort of a grassroots therapist where he will do EMDR and various other meditations and I asked him , "Do you ever pick up anything from the person laying down" and he said, "I don't know why I am hesitating, but, I think so". I was trying to see if he can intuitively grasp at someones energy when they are in their guided meditation. I was just naturally curious. It was nervewrecking enough to just ask that, though.

But good luck!

Hi again, all...

What do you think wiggling of the toes means? I always see my T doing this as he's sitting. Is it just because he sits all day long and needs to get blood to flow? I couldn't find anything in my body language books about this in specifics.

Hi Caeti723,
Cool Avatar- what does it mean?

I don't really remember how it started, but he is very client centered and i am guessing that all of his clients have his cell number- IDK- I just assumed that. He doesn't have a secretary, but he does have an office phone (2 offices)He said he doesnt mind being accessible to clients (to a point) and I don't think I abuse it. Yea it is cool- because I save some of his txts (I told him) and use them as affirmations if I need to. He just laughs. I also have save a few amazing voice mails as well. (Yea I am pretty sick- but it works for me) Nice chatting- I will ask him about the body language, and he does EMDR too, only 2x with me. Not all that fond of it.

Hi Mayo,
Thanks for responding
I was excited for it.

My avatar is the glyph of my Zodiac sign, which is Leo.

Okay, so you explaining about your T makes a lot of sense to me now. Especially that he seems kind of like a private therapist because you mentioned him not having a secretary. I will begin feeling less jealous now

I saved a lovely voicemail from my T for a long time until I got freaked out by how much rich feeling I had for him that I deleted it. Ugh! I wish I still had it. He was sort of rambling over-phone, it was darling. It really made him seem laid back and that's just the thing... I wouldn't want to abuse that because it would be so easy for me to get into "friend mode" (or more) with him.

It's probably good I don't have his cell number.

on EMDR, I am not fond of it either. It makes me way too nervous... I envy those who can actually put themselves at ease. I usually only do it to flaunt my goods by laying down and to give him the occasional "eyes" from a down-view. AHH! Now that is what is really sick.

It may be sick- but you made me laugh, and that counts for something?

quote:

Originally posted by Caeti723:

One thing I found helpful was learning about "clusters" in body language. My T has shown a few of them which reassure me that I shouldn't be thinking the worst. He has done the "face platter" combined with petting his own knee... which really turns me on usually.

What clusters? What is the "face platter"? Do tell!

quote:

Originally posted by Caeti723:
As for the body language here... my T will often play with his pen- putting it to his mouth or playing with it between his fingers. I read in the book that this is usually in conjunction with how men and women slip their rings on and off which means they want to have sexual relations with whom they are speaking to at the moment, or just wanting sex in general.

Oh, dear. I did this all the time - slipping my wedding ring on and off each finger - with my ex-P (no secret here - I wanted him). I hope he doesn't know what these particular fidgety habits mean! One time I was nervously twirling my pen and part of it broke off and flew out of my hand. Then I tried to pick it up real quick and toss it in the waste basket, and I missed. I was so embarrassed. He was quite amused and said, "THAT was funny."

echo-
Clusters in body language are when there are a few things going on... For instance if someone is bored they'll be slouching, tapping their foot, sighing and moving their eyes around the room. It's a "cluster" of things happening rather than just one thing.

The "faceplatter" is usually happening when a person is extremely interested in a conversation. They will lean their elbows on the table and rest their head on the flats of their hands toward you. This can also indicate attraction, especially when combined with a sidelong glance and raised eyebrows.

My T uses the faceplatter a lot... it puts his face on display for me. It's kind of a mating signal if you will. My T has also raised his eyebrow when I raise mine. You could read about mirroring- it was another large topic in my body lingo book. Very cool!

And haha @ the ring deal. That is funny how it proved true for you! I also would have thought you missing the basket was cute. His "funny" was probably an endearing term.

Caeti

quote:

Originally posted by Caeti723:

They will lean their elbows on the table and rest their head on the flats of their hands toward you. This can also indicate attraction, especially when combined with a sidelong glance and raised eyebrows.

Oh crap. I did that, too. I'm such a tart.

Mayo,

I hope your T is ok. That would worry me for sure. I'll be interested to hear what he says about your body language.

Caeti: the ring thing makes me laugh. I do that often with my ring in T. I certainly don't want to have sex with my T. I'm also not usually thinking about having sex when I'm around her. That did give me a good chuckle though. I wonder if it only applies in mixed company or I guess maybe if you are gay?

Oh Shit, oh Shit!
I better learn about this stuff. I do that face platter thing. Oh- no! I thoutht it meant that I was concentrating on what he was saying.
What does it mean if I am wearing a skirt, and I pull my legs out of his sight and tuck them underneath me?

Yea- getting really worried about T- still no call. And I am handling my own crisis with meds and prayer. I am going to call his office this morning. something is not right.

Funny- is this body language or an unfortunate situation for T? (I already posted this somewhere)
A few months ago, in the spring- My T wore a pull over fleese over his button down shirt. I took my jacket off and began to hang it up- as I turned to look back at my T, the fleese was over his head, his shirt was up around his arm pits- bear chested - he was stuck I tried hard not to laugh, turned away- but almost asked him if I could help him. His hair was sticking up, he was so flustered. But within seconds he regained his poise. That's my T! Gotta love em!

HE CALLED!
and yea- he was sick. (I knew it)
He has lymes disease pretty badly- trouble walking- maybe the lack of happy birthday, was a brain effect of the lyme disease. God I hope not.
If you believe in prayer- pray for my T. No matter what- he is a good guy.
Sorry so OT.

Hey again Mayo,
Good to hear your T got back in touch with you! That story about your T getting the shirt caught was hilarious. I would have jumped in to help him out a little.

You asked what it means if you wear a skirt while pulling your legs out of sight placed behind you... hmmm. To me, that is a bit of "closed" body language if you must hide something of yours. But, I'd imagine by getting into this position that it boosts your chest forwards which could be flaunting your chest outward... it's a very feminine position to me, when I visualize it. Skirts to therapy, huh?

Let me know if your T answers your body language question. I want to hear how that goes. I'm thinking of doing it myself so...

Cheers!