Mayo:I'm so sorry your T is so sick! He will be in my prayers.

That shirt story is hilarious.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: scaredtoriskmyself,

Mayo,

I'm so sorry to hear about your T's illness, that must be very scary for you! I'm really hoping they caught it early and that he will be back on track very soon. I don't know much about it, but I'm guessing if he had had a brain effect he would have been very sick indeed, and yet he was up seeing patients. Perhaps the lack of a Happy Birthday might have been related to his feeling generally unwell & not quite on the ball, rather than it necessarily being a brain thing? I don't know, of course, I just know how I'd be freaking out about the worst case scenario in your situation and it would be hard to see the alternatives.

Hope you are going ok, though, and that he is back with you real soon.

J

Mayo

Am so sorry to hear that your T is so poorly. What a worrry for him - and you. Can you call the office to get any updates at all?

Sending thoughts and prayers for him and hug for you as you wait to hear how he is. When were you next going to see him? Hope the waiting is not too difficult,

starfish

Thanks all,

Surpriseingly- I am ok. He also left a voice mail apologizing for not getting back to me sooner.

He thinks by Wednesday he should be better because he did not cancel my appointment. Maybe he should do more of the talking on Wednesday and I will listen more. But I will ask him about the body language thing.

When he called- Our school was out at field day (an end of the year activity for the middle school) and I was running- (meaning in charge of) the boy's 1/2 mile event- his response- "Oh! what was your time?" (He is a runner)
I also told him that if he hadn't called, I was using my lunch and prep time, and driving over to his office to check on him, say -glad you are ok, and go back to school. He said - "You would do that?" I said- yea- I would do that for a friend that I was worried about. ( oh- if he knew all of it)

Hi all,
I saw my T on Wednesday at 4 cuz that is the new me in the new office (yeaaaa!)Here is the skinny on a number of items:
First the birthday issue- because this is rather funny.
I think I posted on this thread that I saw him 2 wks ago on my birthday- told him it was my birthday- ... and nothing. He said nothing, so my mind was deep in thought... and the next words I heard were "I'm 57" No Happy birthday Hele..., just- I'm 57. So weird. ( I didn't ask his age)
Wednesday I asked him if he thought the lymes disease may have affected his brain, and He thought yes, it could have. Next I asked if he had a problem with birthdays, and he said- with other peoples no- great celebration... I explained what happened and asked him why he responded with his age, he said- because it was his birthday, and he thought I was wishing him a happy birthday- which made him a little shy. His Birthday is 3 days before mine. I didn't know that- and we both had a good laugh.

Reading Body Language- He doesn't read body language in the same way that you describe (this means this, that means that...) He says he reads in more of a Gestalt manner- things tell him about me, my mood, my look, my feelings about what is being discussed. He looks at the overall picture, the tone, the posture, how I am talking or not talking...I am sure there is more to it, but IDK. He is good at reading me. Too good at times.

He is on Meds for the lymes disease and doing quite well with it. This is the 4th time he has had it. Poor guy.
It was a great session. I told him about these boards, and he said he would never look here because he thinks it would be invading my privacy. I told him some of our sessions are all over these boards, and how I work things out with you guys and what a great support system you (plural) are. I said without you guys - I would have not returned to sessions with him after the "big disconnect" and that many of you encouraged me to go back. He said that if I hadn't returned that he would have been deeply hurt, because he knows it was his fault (yea!) and that he has been doing his own work with anger. He said,"tell everyone that I say thank you to all of you" for supporting me. So thank you all- from my T. I told him that we don't use names so he wouldn't have to worry about that. He said he didn't care at all if I used his name. But since no one else does - I will stick with My T.
Then- he left a voice mail for me that night, commenting about something funny that happened.
Whata guy- This week I love em, but next week could be different.

Hi Mayo, thanks for the update. Your T sounds like a really nice guy and a good T. I'm glad you got some things straightened out and it seems that you had a very connected session. I love those kind of sessions but sometimes it just makes it so hard to leave them.

My T is also very supportive of me being on the Board. He sees it as a sort of virtual group therapy (he knows I would NEVER do group therapy in person) and also as a coping mechanism when I'm in need of support I can come here.

I'm glad you went back to your T to work things out. We always think they have all the power and we don't but in reality, if we decide to leave there is not much they can do about it, except ask why perhaps. I would imagine that when they get close to a client within a long-term therapy, it must hurt to have one just disappear and never go back. I told my T I would never do that to him, although I've been tempted at times !

Thanks for posting the explanation of reading body language. I think my T uses that in the same way. He is getting so good at reading me he is now picking up as soon as I start to dissociate and he pulls me back. I never thought he was paying such close attention to my body as opposed to my words but I guess he is. That can be a bit disconcerting at times.

TN

Hey BB,

It is great to hear from you!

I hope you are doing better.
I have been pretty self absorbed and side tracked lately so I have not reached out in while.
I don't know how I would feel about Mark (shhhh) reading the board. He said he wouldnt, and I can pretty well trust that. Mostly what I say here, I tell him, but he does not witness the frustration I have with him at times. (probably read it in my body language though) He does however mostly know how I feel about him, and I believe in the contained Mark way- he has feelings for me. (in the theraputic sense) - I genuinely feel that the caring is real.
It is great to see that sometimes he takes my advice- working too hard - not enough vacation time is one bit of it. I tell him that a vacation will make him better at his work. Well, he is going to the shore- canceling appointments- spending time with extended family, for a while. The best part- is not canceling my appointment , he will be back before my next appointment.

Anyway- sorry off topic.
Be well- BB
Oh, ticks are so bad here- and lyme disease is so common, with or without bug spray- people get lyme. Those tick buggers are nasty

Mayo,

I'm so happy that your session went well. That is a funny story about the birthday thing. The validation from him must have felt good too!

My T says she won't read boards like this either, for the same reason. Hopefully she means that, but I imagine she does. I'm sure she has better things to do in her free time.

Thanks All-
For your support- especially through the disconnect. I seriously would have quit therapy if it were not for all of you.
The relationship is always a rollar coaster, but it is nice to be in coasting mode for a while.

quote:

I felt as if we didn't connect all that much and I was thinking about not going back.

I probably will give him another chance because everyone can have an "off" day

Oh boy- I can feel that! Why is it that we are always on the verge of firing our Ts? I do exactlt that. I walk away with the child like attitude "He does not love me any more". then I feel so entitled to fire his a**. You are so right- they are human and not perfect.

My T told me that he has a bit different perspective on therapy. He feels that the more we know and understand about each other, that creates a stronger relationship, and models more closely what relationships outside the office are like. That is why he did not think it a big deal that he met me on the mountain last winter to go skiing. (I ski- he snowboards). He called me and asked if i was on the mountain, and I was. My girlfriend, who also goes to him, and I were together. He ended up skiing with us for about 1/2 the day. Other than my weirdness about it- the day went smoothly. The 3 of us had a nice time. He holds very strict boundries in all other ways- just so you know it is not a bad thing.

I will probably bump into him at the Y this summer as we both swim. He has a way of making it comfortable and friend-like. I think he is branching out and trying this with a few of his clients, but I am not sure about that.

My T is also very tall.

I am sorry that you had a bad time with your old T.
If you talked about it already- which you may have, I seem to recall reading something, but I don't know your story.
If it has to do with boundry crossong on hid part, then i am seriously sorry for it. It is unprofessionals like him that give this good idea a bad rap.
My T does not list or tell you his boundries, but as I bump up against them from time to time, I learn them from experience. And he never wavers- (darn it)
That is unfortunate about the old room- can you change to a different room?

quote:

I saw 2 other Ps before this latest one who would not talk about my exP.

Wow FOT the more I read, the more I feel blessed by the T I have - warts and all.